During the three fantasy dates, Jesse is charming, Jason is romantic, and Jeremy is too darn serious and gets sent home. Plus, the men tell all
The Bachelorette: DeAnna
Credit: Craig Sjodin

Greetings, TV Watchers! With Erin out this week, I, her trusted Bachelorette-obsessed colleague, happily agreed to take a stab at commenting on this weeks exotic escapades. It’s my freshman effort here, so bear with the new girl. And fear not, Erin will be back with you next week for what will surely be ”the most dramatic finale ever!”

I totally agreed with Erin last week when she said that the hometown visits were the best they’ve ever been; all of the families were so endearing. But I’ll take it a step further and say that, for me at least, this has been one of the best seasons of the series. DeAnna has won me over because she seems 100 percent committed to her cause. The crop of guys she got was truly exceptional, and I think she’s handled letting them down with the utmost grace. I guess that means I can finally forgive her for letting Patrick C. go that first night. (Seriously! Did you see that guy?) Ahem. Moving on.

Letting Graham (”a Brad”) go was hard for D (how cute is it that Jesse calls her that?) because she has openly admitted that he was the man she thought would be standing there in the end. Heck, she even went as far as to say that he was the one (only one?) she was falling in love with at the time and that having him gone threw the whole operation out of focus. And while a small part of me had to wonder what that meant for the other dudes, the simple fact that she was smart enough to figure out that she had to let him go despite all that makes me think this might be the best shot we’ve had at a Ryan and Trista, part dos. Fingers crossed.

While most of the episodes this season have been two hours (which I totally love — that’s part of the reason I feel so connected this time), last night’s exotic-dates episode lasted only an hour, followed by one of the most productive ”tell-alls” the show has had. But first things first: I was totally bummed at how quickly the regular episode blew by and even more shocked when, although all the dates went well, I easily called Jeremy as the one who would be out after they showed only 8 minutes of his time with DeAnna. (Jason got 12 minutes of screen time, and Jesse 15.) While sweet, Jeremy’s time with D just wasn’t lighthearted enough, and she’s said she was looking to see a less serious side of the ”perfect” bachelor. Though I can’t count myself as a Jeremy hater (message boards for the show seem to show that most people are), I certainly saw what D meant when she later described wanting to fall in love with Jeremy instead of actually feeling something for him. I secretly think it’s because his fantasy suite looked really lame compared with Jesse’s candlelit setup and Jason’s patio. (Just kidding.) Fortunately, like all of the men this season, Jeremy handled his exit with grace and kindness; I hope D realizes how lucky she is to have avoided any huge blowups from the heartbroken dudes.

NEXT: Jason is ready for fantasy

The other dates, while short, proved to have many a sparkling moment — as when Jason said they didn’t have to talk about Ty (a constant serious conversation) and compared his feelings for DeAnna to the love he has for his son. Whoa. D looked a little shocked as she told him that was the nicest thing he has said to her. Luckily, things were lightened up by his reaction to the fantasy-suite card. Halfway through reading it aloud (who doesn’t have that thing memorized by now? Chris really needs new material!), Jason let out an Usher-worthy ”yeah,” tossed the card aside, and pulled D out of her seat. I haven’t laughed that hard at the usually cringe-inducing moment since Ryan took one look at that thing and said, ”Check, please!”

Jesse (okay — my favorite) started his date the way he always does, gushing over how hot his girl always looks, and added that he felt butterflies while making her feel his heart. Let’s pause to melt, please. The duo went horseback riding on the beach, and though the date seemed more suited to über-romantic Jeremy, Jesse always wins by being adventurous. Calling the outing ”rad,” the funnyman made me spew my Diet Coke when he told his wayward horse, ”I wanna kiss the girl in red, and you’re not helping.” Then came the picnic, for which he called her ridiculous. (Why does he always do that? It’s not like she’s the one who sets the dates up!) I did love when he got down to his ”serious questions” later that night, asking D when she wants to have her three kids. I seriously thought Jesse was going to flip if she answered honestly, but she kind of half hit it by saying before she is 30 but then adding that it’s not a set plan. Totally secure, he saved her by saying that he’s on board with the under-30 thing. Surprising and nice. Just like Jesse. Melt, part dos. Must say though, my fave part was when the snowboarder defended himself to a cautious DeAnna by saying that he doesn’t just go out and shred every day, adding, seriously, ”I’m not 15 anymore; I’m 26.” He (less believably) told her that he wants to be a sports agent someday and find the girl of his dreams and that he doesn’t care so much about what he does for a living, he just wants to be happy. This love scares the crap out of him because it’s real. And because he was just on a reality show a while back (teaching, what else, snowboarding on Made), I believe him. He, like Graham, didn’t originally intend to fall in love on this show. But now Jesse says if D chooses him, she’d better be ready to marry him because that’s what he wants. Gnarly, bro.

NEXT: Getting the truth out of Graham

I couldn’t wait to see the ”Men Tell All” special because DeAnna really holds her own with the guys and the show — she states exactly how she feels and doesn’t let people walk all over her. Quick hitters: Twilley looked better tonight than his cracked-out self on the show (but why did he high-five Jeremy after calling him a D-bag in the clip?). Ryan is still super weird and aggressive. Ron is as nonsensical as usual (flowery prose and metaphors that mean nothing are not sexy), and the oyster farmer from South Carolina still makes me want to hug him. I genuinely felt like this was one of the first tell-alls that actually had a point, even if I still don’t understand Graham. Maybe every girl gets a few of those. We finally saw his confession in the cab (I was wondering what happened that night), and he said that more than anything in the world he wanted to fall in love with someone and that he wanted it to be her. I was thrilled when an audience member asked about the letter, and although I shamelessly wanted to know what it said, he very classily said that he opened up to her and that he thinks if she read it, she will hopefully treasure it. Chris calls it the most emotional season ever. Agreed!

The ”whaaaaaa?” moment of the session came when D said she was ”happy, in love and…engaged.” Now, why Chris hadn’t been teasing this all season, I’ll never know. They love to spill that stuff early so people don’t feel like they’re plugging in for a possible letdown. He even looked kind of surprised when she said it, saying that it was the first time we were hearing of it (duh!). That girl had a smile so high-wattage she could have taken out the power in half of L.A.

So what’d you kids think? How about that floating dock on Jason’s date? Pretty wild, right? Did anyone think Jeremy was going to do something crazy when he had the limo stopped? Did his totally classy turn at the tell-all change anyone’s mind about his personality? Anyone find it weird when DeAnna held hands with both Jesse and Jason after coming back from her sad convo with Jeremy? Once and for all, is Graham a sweet guy with a case of the giggles and nerves or a smarmy jerk destined for eternal boyhood? But I guess the most important question, TV Watchers, is who’s it gonna be next week? Jesse, the newly manscaped friend who grew into more by constantly surprising our girl and making her feel ”different”? Or Jason, the sweetheart with a great family who finally showed his fun side and who she feels is dependable?

Episode Recaps

The Bachelorette

One single woman searches for her future husband amid a sea of studs in this romantic reality series. Will you accept this rose?

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