Paul Hebert/ABC
January 29, 2018 at 10:01 PM EST

The Bachelor

TV Show
Reality TV
run date
Arie Luyendyk Jr, Nick Viall, Ben Higgins, Chris Soules, Juan Pablo Galavis
Mike Fleiss

That’s what you think, toots. As the Pin Ups console each other in the locker room, our Bachelor sits alone by the lanes, pondering his options. Though he’s supposed to send the losing team  home, Arie can’t bring himself to be the bad guy.

Squeals all around! Krystal, however, is all kinds of pissed. “Like, why’d you change your mind?” she huffs. “I’m not gonna sit there and fight for his attention.” Apparently her hissy fit continued and intensified on the ride back to the hotel. “On the bus, on the way home, Krystal literally, like, lost her mind,” reports Ashley gravely. I’m guessing she means figuratively, but back at the hotel Krystal is definitely losing her s— on The Bachelor crew. “I’m changing, so if someone wants to take my microphone off, or I’m taking it off myself,” she snaps at some poor off-camera plebe. Meanwhile Maquel reports that Krystal repeatedly called Arie “a liar” during the bus ride, which is all the more reason why we need cameras on those damn buses, Team Bachelor!!!

Fortunately the cameras are able to capture some of Krystal’s rant, as she vents via subtitles to a producer.

The other “ladies” are doing their best to push past the latest Krystal kerfuffle, but then she swans into the room, still wearing her bathrobe, and announces she’s not going with them to the after-party.

The Bachelor, Krystal explains, was “disrespectful” to the winning team, adding, “I want someone to include me in decisions.” Yeah, the women aren’t having it either.

If the women really believed that Krystal was going to leave for good — “all my bags are packed,” she tells them — they no doubt would have been quick to encourage her righteous indignation. But everyone there knows Krystal is really just having a “temper tantrum,” so they leave her to it and head out to meet Arie at the bar. He’s not there 30 seconds before the women start filling him in on their rival’s meltdown.

“She’s kind of throwing a fit in her room right now because everyone else got included on the date,” says Bekah. “She was basically calling you a liar multiple times,” adds Jenna, who can be quite serious when she’s not fall-down drunk. Because this isn’t Arie’s first rodeo, he knows this is his cue to go “check” on Krystal — which is, of course, exactly what Krystal wants him to do.

Don’t let that hug fool you — our Bachelor is pissed. First he chides Krystal for talking smack about him (“Whatever was said up here could have been said to me directly”), and then he makes a remarkably sensible observation about relationships: “This is exactly what couples can’t do — run away from their problems.” Whether Krystal is trying to “teach him a lesson” or whether she’s really that upset about a minor change of plans, Arie is not having it at all.

That’s right, Krystal — you’ve been disinvited from the after-party. “I’ll see you in a few days,” says Arie curtly, before heading back upstairs.

At last, the party gets going, and it proceeds apace: Arie makes out with Kendall; Arie makes out with Bekah; Arie makes out with Becca; and so on. Everything’s humming along nicely until…

That sound you hear is everyone’s last nerve snapping. Lauren is so frustrated about Krystal’s spotlight-hogging antics she storms off in tears, while Bekah unloads her anger right to Krystal’s face: “You said you weren’t coming tonight, yet here you are, so does that make you a liar?” Sensing that she’s about to have the flaxen extensions ripped right out of her head, Krystal retreats back to her room.
(Next: Would Arie eat human flesh?)

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