Let’s be honest, rose lovers: Not much usually happens in the penultimate episode of The Bachelor. Yes, there are romantic dates, lots of talk of “opening up” and “love,” and of course the manufactured suspense of whether each “lady” will accept Chris Harrison’s invitation (on the Bachelor’s behalf, of course) to the Fantasy Suite.
Thank goodness for Ross, amirite?
It all begins in Ica, Peru, where Arie is excited to get to know his Final 3 “on a whole new level” (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more). First up is Kendall, who is feeling “a lot of pressure” to say she’s ready to accept a proposal, should Arie choose her at the end. “If Arie proposed to me today, I’d probably say no,” she admits. But if he proposes to her in four to six days? Well that might be a whole different story.
The Bachelor meets her in the middle of the desert, where a dune buggy awaits. Good news for Kendall: Arie laughs at her Mad Max joke — though I’m not 100 percent convinced he got the reference. Of course, Arie is ready with a Painful Metaphor — “Dune buggying is like a relationship: There’s ups and downs and it’s scary, but also so exciting” — and he’s really feeling the chemistry with Kendall. They do seem to have a really good time together, and if they were dating under normal circumstances, I think they’d probably have a shot as a couple. But as we all know, nothing about The Bachelor is normal.
Kendall’s worries only intensify as the Fantasy Suite approaches. As she and Arie sample some kind of fried shellfish, we hear Kendall in voiceover tearfully declaring that she feels like Arie is her “best friend,” and beating herself up for maybe not being “ready” to get engaged in a few days. She’s also concerned that Arie may think of her as a “novelty” — Dude, I once dated this girl who collected taxidermy! — and not real Wife Material. Arie doesn’t offer much in the form of reassurance on that front, beyond saying he’s “okay” with the taxidermy and he thinks they’re “a good fit for each other.” Though Kendall had hinted that she wouldn’t accept the Fantasy Suite card if she didn’t feel ready for a proposal, when the time comes…
“I see so much in Arie that I absolutely love, and I want [in] a husband,” she says. “And I hope for a proposal at the end of all this.” Wait, what? Something tells me that last sentence was Frankensteined together from a completely different quote, like “And I hope I feel ready for a proposal at the end of all this” — but only fools expect reality from this “reality” show. (Next: Arie drops the l-bomb)