This week, The Arrangement tackles the age-old question: Who’s down with O.P.P.?
Kyle is struggling on set at The Kill Plan. His new co-star Amelia Briggs (the movie star he and Terence chose to replace Megan) isn’t cutting it. Megan would have been way better! But he’s got off-camera concerns, too: First, he’s gotta recruit star athlete Brendan Drake to join IHM. (Between takes, Kyle tells Terence proudly, “I’m building my column.” Cool, bro. Me too!) And second, his fiancée isn’t calling him back!
Megan ignores Kyle’s calls throughout the episode, and her agent Leslie says this is in violation of her contract: She can’t go more than three days without contacting him. Megan’s attitude about this “breach” is less “I am horrified by my own indentured slavery” and more “Ugh, my boyfriend’s so annoying!” Plus, now that she’s been fired from the movie, she’s got time to do her acting, but Leslie won’t let her audition for a play (not that she could audition anyway; the director has dismissed her as “stunt casting”).
But freedom awaits. Megan runs into her friend from the Venice Film Festival, indie filmmaker Daisy. Megan vents about how her boyfriend’s trying to be the boss of her (even though he is literally her boss), but Daisy’s got a plan to cheer her up: “Wanna go on an adventure with me?!”
And what an adventure it is: Daisy is making a movie about the adult film industry, so she and Megan visit a porn set (a remarkably warm, friendly, wholesome-feeling porn set). Megan meets adult film star Brenna Swank, who excitedly announces that she’s playing “Megan Whore-ison” in the porn version of Megan’s life. Brenna loves her work, Megan is impressed by Brenna, and Daisy asks Megan to partner with her on this project. It’s a touching moment; the three women even do a group hug and agree to meet for karaoke.
Kyle and Brendan have a post-workout breakfast in their Lululemons. (By the way, they both do a great job of actor-eating, that thing where you talk with your mouth full, but in an appealing way.) They talk about guy stuff (specifically: chicks and going to the clerb), and Kyle confesses that, even though he used to have a good thing with Sophia (who was basically his live-in sex doll), he really truly likes this Megan girl for real!
And it wouldn’t be The Arrangement if things didn’t take a turn for the horny. At home, Megan curls up with a glass of wine to watch some of Brenna’s porn. And when she’s interrupted by another phone call from Kyle, she finally decides to answer. What was she so mad about, anyway? (Was it that time he gave her a dream job in exchange for her soul, then took it away and replaced her with a “name” actress who can’t act? Riiiiight, right right right.) Kyle thinks it’s hot that Megan’s watching porn and asks her to give him a play-by-play. She does, and they both decide to whack it over the phone. Thanks, Brenna!
Megan’s friend Shaun has inexplicably decided not to tell Megan that Hope is the one who leaked her nude pictures online. Maybe it’s because Shaun is busy being wooed by James from IHM, who gives her a tour of the facilities in hopes of recruiting her. (Not that this has anything to do with Scientology, but the IHM building looks less like a Scientology Centre and more like a slightly-upscale rehab. Not to brag, but I’ve seen both.)
Hope calls Megan in the morning to ask if she’s seen the news: She was spotted on set at a porn shoot! More public scandal! But their convo is cut short by a surprise visit from Terence, who drops by Megan’s to give her a croissant and to tell her, basically, to make sure that Kyle doesn’t… get bored? Wha?
Deann, who is still pissed at Terence for replacing Megan against her wishes, gets a surprise visit of her own: It’s Annika (the actress she shares some kind of secret with), who shows up to demand that Deann read her screenplay. Deann blows her off, telling her to “be patient” and promising to read the screenplay eventually. (Been there, girl!)
Kyle and Megan are (abruptly) back together. Apparently his massive betrayal was healed by that quick round of phone sex. They go on a double date with Brendan and his girlfriend Claudia, where they realize Claudia’s distrust of IHM is the reason Brendan has been so reluctant to join. But Megan has the perfect and very logical solution to this problem: karaoke! They meet up with Brenna at The Cobalt, where Kyle and Megan wow the crowd with a staggering performance of “O.P.P.” This is, apparently, their song?
On the way home, their fun night comes to a screeching halt when drunk-driving Brendan gets into an accident. Kyle and Megan leap into action, saving the life of the other driver while Brendan and Claudia argue. But just when Brendan’s about to be arrested, Terence shows up and hands the policeman his cell phone: He’s got an important IHM-connected cop on the line, and just like that, Brendan is free to go.
The next morning, Megan sees a news story about Brendan saving the other driver’s life (but that’s totally not what happened!). She puts it together: Brendan has been given a second chance, in exchange for his full commitment to IHM. She’s almost starting to wonder if there’s maybe something a little bit weird about this secretive Hollywood cult that asked her to sign a marriage contract!
At the end of the episode, Kyle goes back to work, yelling at Amelia for faking it until she cries for real. And Megan crashes the audition for the play, telling the director to “stop being such an asshole and let me read.” But the real climax happens with Terence and Deann, when he surprises her with an impromptu threesome with none other than Annika, who whispers in Deann’s ear, “I’m not so good at being patient.” So that’s the secret to making it in Hollywood: be down with O.P.P.! I’ll make a note of it.
Well, guys, what this week lacked in cameos by Leah Remini and the goats, we more than made up for it with porniness and horniness. Till next time!