Items are checked off a bucket list and a passport is lost

By Lincee Ray
April 13, 2017 at 11:00 PM EDT
Phil Keoghan
Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS

It’s only the third leg, and there is all sorts of drama. I guess that’s understandable when you have eighteen strangers traipsing the globe together. Some are great, some are neutral, and most are stoked to be in the competition at all. Liz and Michael are dominating. London and Logan “aren’t going to get caught up in all the BS.” And Sara is ticked that Shamir is still talking bout his junk.

It’s a new dawn, people. That means a new route. Adjust that backpack and break out the sunscreen, because we are going to Africa.

All teams are on the exact same flight traveling to Tanzania in search of the Askari Monument. That means the playing field has officially been leveled. They have to find a clue buried in the newspaper. Beware: There’s a double U-Turn ahead. Cue the butt clenches!

Since they arrive in the dark, everyone dons a headlamp so they can thoroughly scour the newspaper for clues. A-ha! They have to take a ferry to Zanzibar. To the terminal! Everyone follows each other in an orderly line, barely noticing Matt and Redmond cutting their competitors and random Tanzanians to jump ahead. This infuriates Ashton. STRIKE TWO! The entire cast makes it onto the same ferry. Watch out #TeamBoys. To quote T-Swift, “Now we’ve got bad blood.”

All teams rush off the boat and crawl into taxis. It’s fate, now. Who will have the fastest mode of transportation, and will they have the chutzpah to make another team U-Turn?

Why, yes. Yes they will. Joey and Tara U-Turn Seth and Olive. It is a smart choice, considering they are one of the stronger teams. Vanck and Ashton arrive second and U-Turn Redmond and Matt. TAKE THAT, MEAN BOYS. Both teams run to the DETOUR:

Build It: Make a desk, walk it through the village, and deliver it to a classroom
Weave It: Weave two baskets out of coconut leaves

At this point, all of the teams are seconds behind the others. They all have to hop in another boat to get to the DETOUR. As teams launch into various canoe-looking vessels, many begin to talk smack to one another. And by “many,” I mean Redmond. He thinks only weak people use the U-Turn, and he encourages Vanck and Ashton to take cover because revenge will be sweet.

This is coming from the man who did not honor his gentlemanly agreement by countering, “It’s a race.”

Most of the teams choose to Build It. They find several pieces of a desk, a handful of dowels, and a tool to use as a hammer. There were zero instructions and no guide. Happy hammering!

Joey and Tara truck along. Shamir complains, admitting that his sister builds all of his IKEA furniture. Liz, Michael, Vance, and Ashton make it work. Shamir gets a splinter and whimpers. An African man shakes his head. Team Fun whistles while they work. All is well.

The two teams who choose Weave It are having a hard time. A sweet man by the name of Butterfly shimmies up a tree and hands Matt and London a branch. London is excited. She’s all about the crochet, for crying out loud. This should be a piece of cake!

Untrue. When Matt and Redmond move on to their second basket before her one, she talks Logan into switching to Build It.

Meanwhile, Liz and Mike are the first team to have their desk inspected. After they find a missing dowel, they get the A-OK and hoist their desk so they can carry it through the village to the school. Seth and Olive are next, which would be a big deal if they didn’t have to go Weave It after they deliver their handiwork. They are right behind Joey and Tara.

Seth and Olive arrive at the basket-weaving place. Matt and Redmond are still there. Redmond begins to make fun of Policeman Seth, claiming that he probably wants to shoot his basket. Or arrest it. What is this guy’s deal? Why is Redmond being so tacky all the time? Is he a poor loser? While I ponder this dude’s attitude, they get the “all good” sign on their baskets and head to Build It.

All of the desk people are floored to see #TeamBoys stroll up. Tensions rise with the remaining teams.

Liz and Mike are the first to deliver their desk. They head to the ROAD BLOCK at the Darajani Market, where they have to buy a ton of unfamiliar food on a very long list. Liz sends the butcher in to do his thing. He’s followed by Joey and Vanck. Other teams arrive shortly after, and Brooke, Floyd, and London team up to cover more ground. It is the worst decision ever.

Seth tries to remain calm while basket weaving. Olive is “wicked stressed.” Shamir yells at Sara for not helping. Here’s hoping leg four has something to do with anger management. Redmond and Matt are building desks in their sleep, while Shamir and Sara look on in horror. Michael is geeking out at the food market. Joey is bargaining over melon prices. Vanck has enlisted the help of fellow marketers. And the three who teamed up are being gouged by the food merchants. Cash is flowing freely, and not in a good way.

Shamir and Sara leave the desk area for the market a little bit before Matt and Redmond. They dive into the food extravaganza just as Joey walks out. Sadly, he didn’t find a chicken that was “halal,” even though the chicken guy told him the chicken was a halal chicken. Newsflash: A halal chicken means that its head has been chopped off. Do you know how I know that? Mike told me. He meanders out with all of the ingredients and receives his clue. Butcher for the win!

The PIT STOP is the Emerson on Hurumzi, which is a rooftop hotel. Yes, please. Mike and Liz race off with Joey and Tara not far behind. Vanck chops his chicken’s head and runs off to find Ashton. Astonishingly, Matt and Redmond follow close behind.

The three teams who shop together are mortified. Matt and Redmond finished two detours to their one. They finally get their wits about them, find their food, and receive envelopes. The three teams leave at the same time and wave at Shamir as he stands there with Seth, who just rolled up from basket weaving.

It’s down to Olive and Sara. Who can shop faster? Olive definitely has the edge, since Sara and Shamir spent all their money on a cab. Rookie mistake. Sara demands change from vendors, since she was cheated, while Olive throws Brazilian cash at people in exchange for red bananas. The suspense is killing me!

1. Liz and Mike: For the second week in a row, these two are victorious and winners of a glorious Travelocity trip to Amsterdam.

2. Tara and Joey: Looks like the U-Turn worked out for them.

3. Ashton and Vanck: The U-Turn worked out for them, too. Unfortunately, they have to share the mat with the fourth-place team.

4. Matt and Redmond: Redmond picks a fight with Ashton, rubbing it in her nose that they did two DETOURS and ROAD BLOCK and came behind them in less than two minutes. #awkward

5. Floyd and Becca: Fifth place rules! Unless you lose your passport. Becca’s fun meter doesn’t have an “irritated” section, does it? They have to go back and find the missing documentation. Way to go, Floyd.

5. London and Logan: So they are officially in fifth place now.

6. Brooke and Scott: Scott is so keesh. That means he’s young and hot, but totally cool about it. He really wants this phrase to catch on during The Amazing Race. I say we help him make that dream a reality.

7. Sara and Shamir: Somehow, Shamir powers through his junk injury and his splinter. He’s so brave.

8. Becca and Floyd ramble up behind Sara and Shamir as the second-to-last couple of leg three. As luck would have it, their super cool taxi driver Abdul saw the passport in the back of his cab and was heading back to return it to its fun owner. I guess it does pay to forge relationships with your transportation provider. Becca takes Floyd’s passport, puts it in her own fanny pack, and docks him three cool points for being such a forgetful jack wagon.

Seth and Olive are the last team to arrive and are therefore eliminated from the race. The U-Turn was their downfall. They ran as hard as they could and made a lot of friends along the way. Both thought it was a great experience, and neither will ever take a basket-weaving class again for as long as they live.

Episode 3 was full of drama. Do you think Redmond is being a jerk? Do you love Vanck and his compass as much as I do? Will you help me make keesh happen?

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The Amazing Race

Phil Keoghan hosts the globe-trotting adventure series.

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