The Amazing Race recap: Bros Being Jocks
First you throw the bomb-rocks at the gun powder, then you collect your purses ... that about sums up season 28
Season 28 is the first time The Amazing Race has visited Colombia, and they are really making their presence known: sticking around for a second leg, hijacking buses for ambiguously scandalous purses, stealing purses from annoyed local vendors, occasionally screaming at Miss Cartagena, and also just … screaming. There’s a lot of screaming.
And hugging — so much hugging and intra-team support! I have accepted that these social influencers’ bread and butter is enthusiasm, and I find that enthusiasm a good fit for this rrrrrace around the world, even if a little loud sometimes. But for those of you who’ve been flexing your mute button extra hard this season … unfortunately, you lost the only team on this third leg of the race who might have helped you win that volume battle. But the teams’ second Colombian leg offered dynamic mix of challenges and a little time to get to know them better: Tyler used to have a crush on Korey — wait, scratch that, he just thought he was good-looking, and they’ve only ever been besties! Brodie is perfectly aware that he talks that much! Rachel is very good at being adorable, but very bad at counting! Dana might end Matt’s life soon — look out, Matt!
At the top of Friday’s episode the editors employed a tactic they previously reserved for Hayley and Blair of the “Blind Date” season that I like to call “sepia-toned flashback to bickering.” I’ve been wondering if any of these impossibly friendly teams could possibly turn into this season’s villain, and while I don’t think Dana and Matt will really end up being that couple, they offered the only ounce of negativity in this supremely positive cast. Seriously — two different teams stayed behind to help another team at the last challenge before the Pit Stop tonight.
Since this leg stayed in Colombia, the teams got straight to clue-finding, setting out to Castilla San Felipe de Barajas where they had to go into the catacombs to get their next clue. This presented a problem for Erin of Team Clevver who is very claustrophobic, and presented a little treat for the editors who made the scene into a 30-second horror movie. But everyone found their clue and headed to the DETOUR: TICKETS vs TEJO. The best thing about these teams that the Internet built is that they are endlessly energetic, but the second-best thing is that they are quote machines. After I already had all of my cornhole references lined up to explain the popular Colombian gave Tejo, where the teams must throw round metal discs at three clay targets on a board covered in gun powder (for example — how is it possible that American fraternities have yet to think of adding gun powder to cornhole?), each team already has a better and funnier thing to say. Like Team Torey saying they spent some time playing cornhole in college, “except this was with rocks and bombs — so similar. A little different.”
The Frisbee fellas and Torey both cruised through, as did everyone who came after them; rocks-and-bombs cornhole was clearly the way to go over to much more difficult Tickets where teams have to play the role of conductor to get passengers to board a local bus and get enough 1,800 peso fares to collect 20,000. Normally “using your persuasive skills” would be a red flag, but not for this crew, who literally jump at the chance to yell at people while swinging out of a moving vehicle. Some teams get the hang of encouraging people to board the bus quicker than others, like Blair, who immediately starts screaming “BESOS FOR PESOS” with the confidence of someone who regularly has to come up with catchy YouTube titles. But much like a misleading headline, Blair got the pesos, but did not deliver on the besos (“Thank goodness” –Scott, her father, and me, the viewer).
NEXT: What’s 11,000 pesos between videographers?
The Kings had a little less luck with Tickets when Rachel thought they had reached 20,000 pesos, but didn’t realize until they were off the bus and in a cab that she was counting the bills incorrectly, and they only had about half of what they needed. They got back to the start, boarded another bus, and collected the rest of their pesos at an impressive rate, but the mess-up still put them in dead last heading into the ROAD BLOCK: IT’S IN THE BAG
Once on Calle San Juan de Dios, one member of each team must find the marked vendor, select a mochila bag, and then go to other marked vendors on the surrounding streets to locate two more mochilas that are both the same pattern and made by the same designer. Making sure to find bags by the same designer seems to momentarily throw a few people for a loop, but everyone catches on pretty fast — this is mostly a case of happening upon the right vendor with the right bag. Of course by “happening upon” I mean frantically running through the streets to find them. Scott and Erin teamed up to track down a map at a store so they could better locate the vendors, and after Erin briefly left Scott behind because his efficiency at finding mochilas is about equal to his efficiency and holding onto puzzle pieces, she immediately returned to him and spent the rest of the challenge apologizing.
The Road Block was made more difficult for the last teams to arrive because it was nighttime by then and much harder to find the bags. At one point when Matt hollers some encouragement at Dana while she’s searching for a mochila match, she tells him, “Babe, don’t talk to me — go back into your own world and let me live my life,” which I think is actually a direct quote from one of last season’s Paparazzi. But running around these streets was harder on no one than poor Darius, who has been very open about his proficiency for book smarts, not street smarts. The Brothers Vine know how to move quickly, and it didn’t take Darius long to find his bags, unfortunately he came under the impression that because his mochila brand was “de Adriana,” he needed to find a vendor named Adriana. In reality, he only needed to deliver the bags to the vendor standing two feet away from his brother at the Road Block’s starting point.
Eventually he figured that out put them at a major setback heading toward the Pit Stop at Baluarte de Santiago:
1: TEAM FRISBEE are back in front where they wanted to be thanks in large part to Kurt’s Spanish skills, and the happy new recipients of a trip for two to Greece
2: TEAM TOREY
6: TEAM ALABAMA
7: TEAM CLEVVER
9: THE KINGS: “You probably already know where you are. The last team to check in … is behind you.” Phil, you scoundrel!
ELIMINATED: THE BROTHERS VINE: It’s true that after a rough leg for both teams, Darius and Cameron made it to the mat just moments behind the Kings. I’ll miss these guys and the different laidback energy they brought to season 28, but at least it wasn’t as Dana predicted: “The last team to check in may be eliminated … or die.”
What did you think of this third leg of the race? Can the teams continue to be this helpful to each other the whole way through or is someone going to have to go full-villain/steal a cab eventually? Have you adjusted to this cast’s video-ready energy yet? And how quickly have you set up your own at home Teja range? Sound off in the comments!