Indonesia, Leg 10: Teams eat snakes, hard-boil eggs in a volcano, and put Javanese bridal makeup on each other

By Annie Barrett
December 02, 2013 at 02:00 AM EST
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Okay, so this wasn’t the best plot-advancing episode of all time. But six of our eight remaining Racers are ready to be given away as Javanese brides, and we learned how much Travis looks like Dennis Rodman when he wears terribly applied makeup. So it’s not a complete wash! However, Travis should completely wash his face. Right now.

Leo and Jamal are proud of themselves — for the first time in Amazing Race history, a team has been U-Turned twice and still survived. Plus, they woke up on time for the start of the 10th leg! It’s a banner day for the Afghanimals, who depart first for King Cobra House at 7:25 a.m.

The RoboDocs clue us in on the basis of their creepy/stoic/he-is-her-overlord dynamic: “The nature of our relationship, the way it started, was I was a medical student and he was my supervising physician,” bots Nicole. “So Travis definitely does talk to me as though I’m a student. Or a child.” Blank, robotic stare from Travis: He corroborates! Ick. Can someone start eating a snake already? Travis and Nicole are grossing me out.

Horrifying food challenge! Everyone must eat grilled cobra, an exotic dish that Indonesians savor for its healing benefits, i.e. getting Marie to stop yelling for three seconds. I’m actually disappointed with this challenge — they only had to eat a chunk of the snake’s body. Whatever! That’s just straight-up protein. Survivor contestants would mainline that sh*t. Save for a few minor complaints about scales in their teeth, no one had a real problem with the cobras. And that includes incredibly picky eater Marie, who barely ingests anything. “Marie eats lettuce,” Nicole informs us.

“Some kind of meat would be my worst fear,” says Marie. But when she and Tim finally find the North entrance to the camp after about an hour of wandering around near the South, she swallows that cobra like a champ. This pink-haired devil-monster is really growing on me, and just in time.

NEXT: ‘I smell fart bombs.’ Leo and Jamal lie to Team Boston (Jason and Sock Bun) that Tim and Marie had already eaten the snakes. It seems like no one’s buying anything out of their mouths anymore. “It’s fun lying to teams,” says Leo. “It’s not even lying — it’s like joking. It’s like messing around.” “It’s manipulating their brains,” Jamal agrees. At least they’re keeping it interesting!

Tim continues to be my favorite person left in the race when Marie says “I mean, I just ate a snake” and Tim chimes in, “It’s rough.” Rough, like scales. I get it. Meanwhile, Jason mimics the guy in the KFC commercial by announcing he definitely ate the bones.

Road Block: Who’s feeling hard-boiled? Teams must ride on the back of a bike for eight minutes (which seems like the most difficult part of the challenge to me) and cook eggs all the way through in a volcanic spring within Mount Tangkuban Perahu, which last had a major eruption 40 years ago. Sadly for Jamal, it does not rage against Travis and Jason today, thunderously roaring “STOP COPYING EACH OTHER!” in a fit of volcanic rage.

The chyroned journey to the spring sort of looks like a video game (Mahavira Kart?) as Jason’s bike passes Jamal’s. “Good move!” shouts Jason to his driver. “I smell fart bombs,” says someone, as they arrive at the volcano. Mmmmm. Let’s get cookin’!

Once everyone’s eggs are submerged, Travis segues into teacher mode with Jason, advising him that since two of his egg’s shells already cracked, it might not take as long as they think to cook them through. Jason is distracted. “I seriously burned my ahhhhm,” he complains. Jason and Travis leave after only boiling the eggs about eight minutes, while Jamal hangs back another two.

Back at the hut, the egg master cuts open all of Jason’s eggs and throws one out, despite Jason’s protest that “that thing was boiling like a bastard.” ALL of Travis’ eggs get thrown out. Nicole and Amy hug in solidarity. It’s pretty boring.

Did Jamal’s patience pay off? Nope, Jamal got a bad one! Nicole makes sure to SCREAM this as if the egg master is not a master at all. Rude! All three guys have to go back. “Sorry, man — I blew that for you,” Travis says to Jason. (Would he ever apologize like that to his wife? Nope, Nicole got a bad one.)

NEXT: Need a lie told? Ask an Afghanimal! “When you see Marie, tell her it took 8-10 minutes,” Jason begs Jamal. So the other teams want Tim and Marie to be lied to, they just don’t want to do the lying themselves. “Hypocrites!” yells Leo, a registered Afghanimaliar.

Tim and Marie finally arrive at the egg hut (no thanks to Amy and Nicole, who duck down in hopes they won’t be spotted) and Marie has to complete this second pesky food-related challenge herself. In her 29 years terrorizing this earth, Pinky has yet to hard-boil an egg. It happens! She’s been busy. Ruling the sandbox.

As Marie’s bike crosses the guys’ bikes on her way to the spring, Jason tells her “It’s quick” and Traivs says “It’s tiresome.” Very diplomatic. We don’t hear what Jamal tells her, if anything. “I’m outright lying to you,” maybe. Or maybe nothing.

Jamal mocks EBFFs (egg best friends forever) Travis and Jason for syncing up the timers on their watches. But their newfound patience works, and all three of the guys return with hard-boiled eggs. Meanwhile, Marie’s dangling her egg basket over the water. It’s deliciously absurd. And Tim calls it from afar! “If she can’t figure out that the eggs go in the basket, which in turn goes in the water — if she’s holding ’em over there — it’ll blow my mind,” he says.

“I feel like it should be in the water,” Marie intuits. This is not going well.

Tim impresses me once again with his manner of speech (I liked the use of “in turn” earlier) by hoping Marie has the wherewithal to realize they can’t afford a second trip to the spring. Marie has no patience, but she’s also never met a food product she can’t overcook. All signs — including Tim’s “100 percent” assertion she won’t have the patience, and Marie’s own estimation that eggs take around four minutes to hard-boil — point to her failure anyway. But miraculously, all of her eggs are fully cooked on the first try. How in the hell?!

“I mean, I overcook things. That’s what I do,” the accidental genius explains. This is crazy. On they go!

Detour: Paint Your Partner or Turn Over a New Leaf. Jason, who has no problem waiting two hours for Amy to do her makeup every day, is very uncomfortable with Paint Your Partner, which requires teams to simultaneously make each other up as traditional Javanese brides without the use of a mirror. “I am so out of my element right now, I don’t even know what the heck to do,” he says. Phooey! Jay is a natural at the makeup challenge, and he didn’t even have to shave his beard like Tim and Travis.

NEXT: The fall of Leo and Jamal? “My husband looks like the sexiest drag queen ever,” says a clueless Nicole, who has safety-pinned glittery strips to her drag queen husband’s hair and smeared black makeup all over the rest of his sweaty face. I shudder to think of how Travis will react when he sees this footage of her failing to “get the concept” (this time of makeup removal) yet again. The RoboDoc get a few “Sorry, it’s not good enough”s from the super-cute beautician guy, then puzzle their way through an ironic “It’s not me; it’s you” realization from Nicole and finally procure their clue. Meanwhile, Pinky and her newly beardless punching bag have caught up.

Leo and Jamal first opt for the Turn Over a New Leaf challenge, which requires them to dress up as local tea workers and hunt for a pair of clipping shears in steep tea fields. They roam around the entire marked-off area and can’t figure it out, then decide to switch challenges. But when they arrive at Amy’s Javanese Palace of Makeup, they’re like aw hell no, we’re not shaving our beards for this! And they decide to go back to the treacherous tea field, home of the blissfully unhelpful tea-worker woman and total doom! Their beards are more sacred to them than the promise of a million dollars! “This is the fall of Leo and Jamal,” they tease. Of course, it’s not.

Another huge-ass snake threatens to do them in for good, but finally the Afghanimaliars find the clipping shears by looking in the bushes instead of only on the ground. But it’s too late. They arrive to a floral-shirted waterPhil in last place. Luckily… it’s a non-elimination leg! They’ll need to deal with a speed bump in the final leg, but Leo and Jamal can still win this thing.

1st place: Jason and Amy, who win a trip to Cancun along with their very first leg of the race. Jason wins a special nonexistent award for most consecutive unamused glares towards the camera. Congrats to them both!

2nd place: Tim and Marie, who does not approve of an Indonesian family of four riding on the back of the same motorbike. I miss Tim’s facial hair, but still love him.

3rd place: Nicole and Travis, who lose the Phootrace to Phil against Tim and Marie after falling behind in an epic (ha, not really) traffic battle on their way to the Cimahi Waterfall. Travis could’ve stayed behind with his partner instead of racing Tim to the Phinish line, but RoboDoc don’t play that way. “You look like an angry showgirl,” Phil delightedly informs Travis.

So! Which team are you rooting for in next week’s two-hour season 23 finale? Should Leo and Jamal have just bit the bullet and shaved? Are Marie’s childlike antics growing on you at all? Are the RoboDocs human?

Discuss!

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Phil Keoghan hosts the globe-trotting adventure series.
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