It's a Cole and Madison memory split
Well? Not quite as excruciating as last week, I guess? Which isn’t to say I wasn’t saying oh nooooo at least three different times during this one. And, if we’re being positive for 2017, there’s the sheer fact that we got to spend some time with Cole, finally. Let’s dive in and sink back into the ocean, shall we?
It’s an Alison perspective (which I never ever trust, if only because of what she imagines herself wearing all the time). She’s at a court hearing about whether or not she can have unsupervised visits with Joanie. The surprise hero? Luisa, who takes the stand and makes it clear she thinks that Joanie should be with her mother. This takes Cole almost as much by surprise as Alison, and Alison watches Cole and Luisa fight on the lawn outside. But, no matter: Alison’s lawyer tells her that Cole’s agreed to shared custody. Smiles all around!
Alison drives out to Cole’s building site with coffee and muffins. He’s not having it. (Related: Who looks sexier counting tiles than Cole? Who, I ask you, who?) However the siren call of Alison and muffins is too much for Cole and they chat for a bit about Alison’s lack of consistency. It turns out he’s mad because she lied to him about seeing Noah. (If only he knew the half of it!) She continues to lie, btw, about how long she saw Noah for. He’s like, I just can’t trust you. Correct.
Alison gets a call from her therapist. There’s another patient that can use her wisdom. Alison drives to New Jersey (getting so much play this season) and talks to the young mother who lost her daughter and is now on suicide watch. Alison is like, listen I get it. Instead of killing myself, I decided instead to have an affair and thus wreck a lot of other innocent people’s lives! The girl is like, yeah no that’s not at all what I was saying. In truth, she seems to really be comforted by Alison.
Alison drives right back to Cole, who is at the Lobster Roll and excitedly tells him that she thinks she’s going to be a grief counselor. In New Jersey. Cole is like, um, how’s that going to work with shared custody? He then gets mad as that clearly hasn’t crossed Alison’s mind. He says, “Why can’t you just be happy and say thank you?” (Alternate tag line for this show?) He’s calls her chaos and stomps off.
She goes to a bar and is all, I need a drink and guess who shows up? Helen! Wearing rather adorable glasses. Helen suggests a Long Island Iced Tea as their drink of choice, and this seems like a real down market call for Helen. I see her much more as a martini person. Or an old-fashioned. Also, I can’t believe I spent so much time thinking about Helen’s cocktail choices. Anyway, she sidles up beside Alison.
Helen is acting just a wee bit nuts, and I hope we see why in a later episode. She brings up the fact that she was delighted to hear that Joanie was not Noah’s daughter. She reveals that Noah has been staying at the brownstone, which seems to surprise Alison. She pretends that Vic is still her boyfriend, which surprises me. But then Alison shocks the stuffing out of Helen when she tells her that she saw Noah a few days earlier. However, they smile at the idea that they’re both now divorced from Noah and clink glasses. Helen asks: Who was he with you? Alison calls him charming and ambitious and very smart and a man who could take care of things. Helen laughs at this and is like, yeah, no. I found him to be insecure and somewhat spineless. Alison is all, hey, he sounds like a whole other person with you! (And, in case this wasn’t clear enough, Jenny Lewis’ “Just One of the Guys” plays in the background.)
Helen is like, people see what they want to see. Alison takes this time to sincerely apologize for all of it. And Helen is big enough to say it wasn’t Alison’s fault. She thinks she stopped making Noah feel important. (Now I’m really not sure if I trust this memory.) Alison tries to talk about the night of the murder and Helen is not hearing it and walks off.
That evening a local cop comes to her house to tell Alison that the New Jersey cops are re-questioning Cole about the night of the stabbing. He was seen at a New Jersey toll booth. Dun dun DUN.
NEXT: Cole is tempted by the fruit of another