Dean gets lifted up by tiny, probing beings, while Sam shows ambivalence about getting his soul back
It’s remarkably fitting that last night’s episode of Supernatural was the last to air before Thanksgiving, because it was something to be truly thankful for.
The Ben Edlund-penned hour gave me the same feeling that comes over me when I bite into something delicious that reminds me of my childhood. It was simply so perfect and so wonderfully familiar that I didn’t want it to end. The episode — which perfectly blended humor, mystery, and new and old mythology — was classic Supernatural. Of course, we knew it would be love at first sight the moment we heard the word “fairies” come out of the writers’ mouths a few months back.
For the purpose of the episode, the boys didn’t know they were battling fairies at the beginning; they actually started off with an alien hunch (explaining the X-Files-honoring opening credits, which you can watch here.) Early in the episode, a woman they interviewed even told them they were wrong. But because she had the same appeal as those mall people who stand by their little carts and offer to rub your hands with earth salts and natural oils, the boys couldn’t look past the overwhelming sense of crazy enough to believe the theory. Sam, in fact, found himself unable to subdue his skepticism and ended up releasing a colorful string of tactless comments that had Dean doing social damage control. (“It’s a blood sugar thing. My apologies,” Dean said to the woman before rushing Sam away.) Sam was no longer pretending to be on the soul train, but Dean made it his mission to turn Sam into a real boy; he vowed to be the Jiminy Cricket to Sam’s Pinocchio. (Does that mean Bobby is Geppetto? Awwww.)
After visiting a shady local watchmaker while investigating the case of a missing person — one of many that had brought them to the town — the brothers decided to split up. Sam acted as watchman for the, well, watch man, while Dean went to peek at some crop circles that popped up after the first disappearance.
While in the crop circle, Dean got a call from impatient Sam, who was at a bar stalking the alcoholic watchmaker. They weren’t on the phone but a few seconds when Dean started hearing sounds in the corn around him. Then he saw a bright light hover above. “U.F.O.! U.F.O.!” he screamed into the phone. (If the intercutting of Dean’s frantic yelling, and Sam’s dry mockery wasn’t perfection, I don’t know what is.) Finally, Dean stopped running and challenged the white light in his signature brazen manner. “C’mon!” And it did — it sucked him right up. Meanwhile, Sam nonchalantly got another beer.
Once at the cornfield (presumably after he finished his beer), Sam found Dean’s phone abandoned in the middle of the crop circle. For answers, he went to an alien-obsessed trailer park, where he met up with a man they had interviewed at the beginning of the episode who Sam believed had the scoop on E.T.’s peeps. It turned out the man didn’t. Enter curious, faux-concerned, horny hippie chick — Sam’s favorite kind. She offered her services to Sam, and he, um, accepted the service.
Mythology recap: Soulless ˈsōl-ləs n. 1. lacking any humanizing qualities. 2. lacking tact, brotherly concern, and ability to suppress libido. 3. having an affinity for Bohemians, hookers, and Bohemian hookers. 4. showing unruliness by growing long sideburns and increasing wit.
(Yeah, I’m starting to like him, too — but still not as much as Sam original recipe.)
NEXT: What happens when a fairy meets a microwave?
While Sam tapped that, Dean returned from his otherworldly experience in fighting form, which is to say he was shooting his gun. When Dean returned to the hotel, he found Sam in bed with “patchouli” and with no sense of time (he thought he’d been gone an hour when it had been several).
After his blow up (which continued the next day with a lecture), Sam sat him down to get the deets. Sensing Dean on edge, Sam put his hand on Dean’s knee (which caused Dean to flinch in hilarious awkwardness) and told him it was okay. “Safe room,” Sam said, earning a look from Dean. His (probably fake) sympathy worked, though, and Dean proceeded to tell Sam about the glowing beings who tried to get him on a probing table. “I went crazy. I started hacking and slashing and firing. They actually seemed surprised,” Dean said. Luckily, Dean’s bravery earned him an eviction from the place he was being held, and he bee-lined for the shower to rinse off the rest of the incident. (Opportunity for an extraneous shower scene: missed.)
The next day, as the research began, so did Dean’s visions of a man he could see, and Sam couldn’t. And back at the hotel, Dean’s troubles got smaller — literally. Tinkerbell small.
Not that size had any bearing on how much ass she could kick. Actually, she was an aggressive, naked, glowing ball of bitch who smacked Dean around the room quite a bit before he Hot Pocketed her ass. Judging by the black goo spread around the inside of the microwave, no amount of clapping could revive this Tink.
Oddly enough, when Dean tried to show Sam the mess in the microwave, Sam claimed that once again he saw nothing. This time, however, Dean’s description of his wee attacker gave them a lead: ultra-terrestrials (“all the same U.F.O. stuff under a different skin,” Sam explained), or fairies.
At Crazy Crystal lady’s trailer lair, what they lacked in tea, they received in scoop. They found out that Dean could see the little buggers because he had been to their world. She also told them that fairies only preyed on the first-born sons of families, loved drinking cream, hated iron, and that the evil ones react to silver. Most importantly, if you spilled salt or sugar on the floor, they were obligated to count each individual grain. Yeah, Dean’s WTF face said it all.
As luck would have it, Dean and Sam exited Crazy HQ and saw the watchmaker buying several cartons of cream. After some recon, Dean quickly confirmed the presence of Keeblers, and Sam discovered that the watch man had made a deal with a leprechaun to help save his business. In the process, the man was tricked into exchanging his first-born son (and the fine print also included the lives of others). This would have led to an immediate strike on the watch shop and occupying fairies — if Dean hadn’t gotten arrested for attacking the little person District Attorney as a result of some fairy trickery (and maybe a little paranoia).
By the time Sam arrived, Dean was being hauled away in a police car before a crowd, screaming like a mad person. “Fight the Fairies! You fight those Fairies! Fight the fairies!” Then Twitter exploded, and the phrase trended. (Hip-hip!…)
NEXT: Raise your hand if you believe Sam actually wants his soul back! (Also, we count down the episode’s best zingers.)
As Dean stewed in jail (and got knocked around by his ultra-terrestrial stalker), Sam battled the leprechaun who made the deal, who also happened to be the alien aficionado he met earlier. (Pet peeve: For a leprechaun, Lucky seemed rather average-sized, and my five-foot-tall ass doesn’t appreciate the implication…. Okay, I’m over it.) During their fight, which Sam eventually won by spilling some salt on the ground and reversing the spell, the leprechaun had told Sam he could get his soul back, but Sam — rightfully believing it to be a trick — declined the offer.
Later, in their debriefing, a fresh-from-jail Dean brought this up as a matter of concern, asking him why he had declined to easily. (He was worried that Sam didn’t want his soul back at all.) “Dude, I still have all my brain cells,” Sam said. Dean replied: “Just making sure that’s where your head’s at. You know, that you’re not having second thoughts about getting your soul back.” Sam said he wasn’t. I don’t believe him.
But more importantly, do you?
What a great episode, readers! Fairies win! As you celebrate with a bowl of cream, answer this: What was the BEST part of that episode? Which scene/moment do you think will be most immortalized in Supernatural fandom? Were you happy to hear Dean’s ringtone again? And how fantastic was Jensen Ackles’ nonverbal acting tonight? (Everything from his reaction to the hippie, to his facial expressions, to his hesitation to sit on Sam’s sex-ed up bed was amazing.) Jared is also kicking some butt in his new, wittier role. In fact, I think you should vote for him here. Go now.
Wait! Not before you read these:
“Look, if you want to add glitter to that glue you’re sniffing that’s fine, but don’t dump your wackadoo all over us. We’d rather not step in it.” –Sam
“What kind? First? Second?…Third kind already? You better hurry, man. I think the fourth kind is a butt thing.” –Sam
“They were grabby, incandescent douchebags. Goodnight.” –Dean
“I don’t think she smelled that bad.” –Sam
Dean: Can we please just get out of here?
Sam: What’s wrong with you?
Dean: …Before I hit you?
“Well, at least books have punctuation.” –Dean
“I’m not supposed to laugh, right?” –Sam
Crystal Lady: Personally, I think they’re taken to Avalon to service Oberon, King of the Fairies.
Sam: Dean, did you service Oberon, King of the Fairies?
“I feel like I’ve got the crazy on me.” –Dean
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