Castiel tempts Fate, and Ellen returns -- with a twist

By Sandra Gonzalez
Updated March 31, 2015 at 04:13 PM EDT
Jack Rowand/The CW

We’re back Supernatural fans! Hellatus was all the name promised would be, but unlike every Winchester who ends up in the pit, the show is anything but damaged. In fact, it was back and hopped up on funny juice — that, in a twist, was spiked with heartbreak.

If I may share a thought (thinking = an unfortunate side effect of having no new TV): the hiatus actually gave me a lot of time to reflect on this season of Supernatural and re-watch episodes. And I’ve determined that I’ve really enjoyed the emotional payoff of this season.

Mythologically speaking, it’s been a trippy ride. (Dean’s a dad! Sam’s back from hell! Wait, twist: no soul! Jerk Grandpas! Holy war! Holy cow!) But this season’s emotional lessons, like those about bonds (valuing them, nurturing them, and knowing when to sever them) has, at least for me, been a nice journey to follow as the rest of the world erupted in chaos around Dean, Sam, Bobby and Cas. This episode, I feel, was big culmination of that aspect of this season. Let me explain as I knock out this recap:

First, the case o’ the week. An apparently clumsy man got his head chopped off in a garage door after some Mr. Magoo-types of events, only this guy’s sight is just fine and he got what was coming to him. Dark.

We picked up with the boys at Bobby’s house, where the elder hunter was boozin’ it up more than usual, which, considering his already thirsty nature, really validated Dean’s concerns that Bobby would poop his liver out if they just stood around as he drowned his sorrows (brought on by Rufus’ death, which we saw last episode). They even tried to lure him away from the house with the case, which Sam and Dean believed at first was a case of a family curse (because the man who died by garage decapitation turned out to be the third in his family to die in a short period of time). Bobby didn’t take the case bait. All it did was piss him off enough for him to invite them to leave his home.

That’s when we saw it. The Impala. Only…it wasn’t an Impala. It was…some thing. A “car,” I guess (Mustang to be specific), with a Hot Wheels racing strip down the middle. How Dean stomached the ride, I’ll never know. Sure, some might call is a classic. But it was simply not right.

Also not right? Ellen was back. Yeah, Ellen. The one who was blown up into a million pieces and eaten by hellhounds. She waltzed in with groceries in hand (vegetables, no less) after coming back from a week-long hunt with Jo (!!) and a bite to match that bark we missed so much. She mostly used her skill to nag Bobby about smelling like a bar. If this all seems very wife-like, it’s because it was. She. Was. His. Wife.

NEXT: Oh, Ellen.

A few things here. First, ouch. My heart. As if it wasn’t sad enough to watch Bobby decaying in grief, we had to learn that his only source of happiness was someone who wasn’t meant to be there! Even more tragic? They were so freaking cute together. Between “kicking his ass back to health and happiness” and the fact that their scrap yard was called “B&E,” it was so tragic because we knew it wouldn’t last. In my head, I imagined them growing old together in this alt-world. Ellen spiking their dinner with beer until they both could only consume brothy soups due to lack of teeth.

Also, the “family unit” vibe the brothers seems to share with the married couple made this situation even harder to bid farewell to. Sam and Dean worried about them; they worried about Sam and Dean. It was almost as if they had the family I always thought they deserved. In fact, I always loved Ellen as a mother figure for the boys. She’s the type of lady who would chew lead and spit out bullets if she had to if her kin was on the line. They’ve always been there to protect each other, but whenever they couldn’t be there, I felt like they could have used a fiercely protective figure like that in their lives. Sigh. Guess it wasn’t meant to be — which was actually the theme of the episode.

Obviously, between the car, the fact that Bobby had a freakin’ WIFE, and Ellen and Jo’s sudden re-appearance in the world of the living (although, Jo was only spoken about in the episode), something was up. Oh, and there was that issue of all the deaths. We knew they had to be related, but this was one of those episodes where we got to put the clues together a little faster than Sam and Dean because they weren’t aware of the more worldy changes that had been made. That’s what made it a little more fun, actually.

Ellen was the one who cracked the case. It turned out that Balthazar had changed the course of history by choosing to save the Titanic from doom in 1912. This meant that all the people who were suppose to die, didn’t. Then they had babies, and presumably their babies had babies. Leading to whole generations of extra people who weren’t meant to be, and thus, were being killed. The change in history also trickled down and caused other events that weren’t ever suppose to happen and prevented events, too — like the invention of the Impala, Ellen and Jo didn’t die, and Celine Dion was a “destitute lounge singer in Quebec” instead of a chest-pounding power-ballad singer. (The world didn’t have a “My Heart Will Go On” because there was no Titanic movie. It was not a world I wanted to live in.)

Enter Fate, played by the poor-man’s Kaley Cuoco, a librarian type (a “Sam librarian,” meaning with clothes.) She was pissed at Cas for ordering Balthazar to go back in time and sink the ship. She had been the one behind the deaths, and she accused Cas of wanting to make “50,000 new souls for his war machine.” Yes, we’re talking souls again, which are apparently either the AA batteries of the other world or like $100 bills. (She accused Cas of “minting currency,” which led me to wonder if Cas has a deficit, too. Hmm…)

We then flashed to the Impala (YAY!), where “My Heart Will Go On” was playing on the radio. All that was different in the world was back to normal. Well, “normal” relative to Supernatural.

NEXT: The week’s best lines.

QUOTABLES

“You two going to stand there like the ugly girl at the prom, or are you going to pitch in?” — Bobby

Probably the only time in their lives Sam and Dean have been called “ugly” anything.

“We can’t just sit here and watch him poop out his liver.” — Dean

No. 1 on a list of things I’d really enjoy never seeing. Also, Dean, are you in any place to judge how much someone drinks?

Dean: “Accidents don’t just happen accidentally.”

Sam: [Stares]

Dean: “You know what I mean.”

Over 6 years, Jared Padalecki has truly perfected the “You’re an idiot” stare.

“Did anyone in your family do something so dark it would sully future generations?” — Dean

This entire scene killed me. This is why Dean shouldn’t be allowed to interview people without Sam present. Also, Sam probably would have made him wear the suit pants, too, instead of the jeans. I know he was suppose to be a college student (Oh, please. C’mon Dean.) but he looked more like a gym coach on Meet the Parents night.

“Dude, rule No. 1: No Kutcher references.” — Dean

Now I’m totally convinced Dean Winchester is my soul mate.

“You have me confused with the other Angel — the one with the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” — Balthazar

Sounds like jealousy to me.

Sam: You mean like Greek mythology? The sisters.

Dean: Nerd.

Sam’s reaction — amazing! Actually, Padalecki’s reactions in the entire episode were incredibly key to all the comedic moments this week. Bravo! Also, true story: I was chatting with my sister during last night’s episode, and used Dean’s “nerd” insult during our conversation. I’d forgotten how simple, yet, effective it was.

Dean: What did she look like?

Sam: [Perplexed]…like a librarian

Dean: Your kind of librarian or my kind?

Sam: Well, she was wearing clothes, if that’s what you mean.

His face said it all. It was what he meant.

Dean: [After Russo gets hit by a bus with an advertisement for his law firm on the back, he smiles at Sam.]

Sam: [Unamused]

Dean: Too soon?

Sam: Yeah, Dean. I’m pretty sure 6 seconds is too soon.

This was my second favorite moment of the episode. The first was, of course, the perfectly soundtracked walk through the city the boys made while trying to avoid death. If someone could start making gifs ASAP, that’d be great. :D

Dean: You really need new friends, Cas.

Cas: I’m trying to save the ones I have, Dean.

This is what I’m talking about. What’s not to love about this?!

“Do I have something on my face?” — Dean

This was half a second long, but I also loved the way Dean woke Sam up. Is that what boys really do? If someone punched me awake, they’d get punched back.

Dean: I think it’s time to take away his cable privileges. Plus, Titanic didn’t suck that bad.

Sam: [Confused/troubled by the confession]

Dean: Winslet’s rack.

Dean, oh, how I missed you and your ability to reduce one of this generations best actresses to a heap of boob. No, I really did miss it.

Did you, readers?

Now, on to talking points. Were you amused by the fact that Dean finally beat Sam at rock, paper, scissors? Were you glad to see Ellen again? Were you a little troubled by how Cas lied to the boys at the end about why Balthazar sunk the ship? What did you think of the episode as a whole?

See you next week!

Follow Sandra on Twitter: @EWSandraG

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