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Sam's trip down memory lane is an unpleasant one in "Unforgiven"

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March 31, 2015 at 04:15 PM EDT

I’m pretty sure that the end of last night’s Supernatural made me pass out in fear. All I know is that after it ended, I hit Twitter to express my complete and utter sadness that Sam appears to be gnawing at his memory wall faster than we anticipated, and then I woke up three hours later exactly where I had been sitting when I tweeted with the same ugly pit in my stomach. Ugh. This show!

The good news is that I’ve recovered enough now to rewind and recap how we got to last night’s big, scary moment:

Last night’s episode was not a normal Supernatural episode by any means. Much of the story was actually told via flashbacks to Sam’s robo months when he was hunting with Grandpa Samuel. But in order for Sam to remember those days, he had to scratch at the wall in his mind that was put their to protect him from his memories of hell — you know, the ones that will likely turn him into a “drooling mess” if he ever remembers fully. (Sigh of fear.) We actually kicked off the episode with one of said flashbacks.

In it, Sam and Samuel were shown one year prior working a case. Sam was shooting unidentified objects off camera, and Samuel had a look of concern on his face. (At which point we were all probably thinking the same thing, ‘Yeah, that’s definitely a great sign.’) As they fled the scene of this apparent crime, a local policeman caught up with them, and upon seeing Sam’s shirt covered in blood, threatened to arrest them. Not liking that idea, robo-Sam beat his face in. Again, Gramps, who I’d personally always pegged as a pretty violent guy, chastised Sam for his reaction. “You think there are maybe calmer ways we could have done all that?” he said. Sam didn’t care, and they drove off, leaving the cop on the ground beaten (and me horrified).

When we returned to present day, the now-more-innocent-faced, normal Sam was watching bad TV in a cruddy hotel room when Dean walked in with fast food. (Ah, it’s these familiar sights that make me want to wrap my arms around our recently re-souled Winchester and never let him go. I especially felt this way during this episode because the contrast between the two versions of the character was presented to us so clearly.) Just as they were talking about how quiet it had been lately (jinx), Sam received a mysterious text message with coordinates that led to a town where some girls had gone missing recently. Before you ask, no, it wasn’t John Winchester sending the messages — although how cool would THAT have been? Sam was unable to ID the source, and Dean became suspicious of the origin of the information, even urging Sam to forget about it. But Sam (using his younger brother powers) convinced him that it was worth checking out, and Dean agreeed, with the coda that if things happened to get “squirrely” (new Dean-ism?) they’d bow out.

NEXT: Locked up again, naturally

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Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki star as the Winchester brothers, hellbent on battling the paranormal forces of evil.
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