'Supernatural' recap: Tales from the Crypt
As longtime Supernatural fans know by now, when an episode’s cold open doesn’t involve a case-of-the-week, you know stuff’s about to go down.
So when this week’s episode opened with Castiel brutally beating and killing Dean in some sort of simulated reality created by Naomi, I went cold — and got very excited about the hour to come.
Did I expected Dean to get killed, like Naomi wanted? No. But I was curious to see how close Cas would get. The answer: Pretty damn close. But before I get to that, a lot of other things happened…
First, while Dean was busy combing the Batcave for ancient porn and growing increasingly worried about Sam (don’t leave your bloody tissues in the trash, Sam!), Sam picked up on a case involving a series of mysterious deaths. Once digging in further, they realized that someone in town had also been doing some demon killing.
It didn’t take long for them to put a few pieces together: Turns out the deaths were a bunch of possessed people who were doing Crowley’s dirty work/looking for Lucifer’s crypt. And the demon killer was none other than everyone’s favorite mind-controlled angel, Castiel, who popped in during a demon fight to save the brothers’ butts.
They were shocked by his reappearance to say the least, but even though they had a ton of questions, Castiel couldn’t help them much — since Naomi was still playing marionette with his noodle. Instead, he fed them a bunch of half-truths about his quest. “I’m searching for the other half of the demon tablet…and in my search I found out that Crowley sent out demons to find Lucifer’s crypts,” he told them. “They’re looking for parchment that would help them decipher Crowley’s half of the demon tablet without a prophet.”
So while Sam and Dean bought the story about the demonic decoder ring — with reservations — the truth was that Lucifer’s crypt housed the angel tablet. Note: When a demon in captivity nearly spilled the truth in front of Sam and Dean, Castiel killed her, confirming their suspicions that he wasn’t telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help him..bahahaha!
Pre-death, their demon hostage did serve up one bit of valuable truth: She told them about Team Demon’s hostage, who was being tortured for secrets. Enter Meg — with a bad dye job. (“Crowley’s idea,” she said of the hair, “just another reason I want to stab him in the face.”)
Meg told the boys that she had been putting the demons in the “ballpark” of Lucifer’s crypts but not giving up the goods, in hopes of buying herself some time. (And looking at Meg’s beaten and bloody face, it was apparent she wouldn’t have had much time left had they not found her.)
The fact that Meg knew the location of the crypts made her a valuable asset to Team Angel, but Cas knew that if they took her along for the ride, she’s spill about the Angel Tablet. Ultimately, Naomi decided that was the price they’d have to pay in order to find the crypts. As a result, Castiel’s lie was thrown back in his face.
With an air of distrust hanging over them, the gang set off to Lucifer’s crypt to retrieve the tablet, and that’s where things really went south.
Meg and Sam stayed outside to babysit one another (this is where Dean confessed that he’d seen Sam’s bloody tissues) while Dean and Cas went inside to get their Indiana Jones on.
Once inside, Castiel and Dean found the Angel Tablet, and things quickly turned into a showdown. “Finding the other half of the demon tablet — that’s priority, isn’t it?” Dean challenged, calling Cas on his lie. “I can’t let you take that, Dean” Castiel said. “Can’t or won’t,” Dean asked. “Both.”
Finding his opening to push for a series of truths, Dean pushed Cas a little further: “How did you get out of Purgatory, Cas? Just tell me how you got out of purgatory. Be honest with me for the first time since you’ve been back and this is yours,” he said.
Castiel argued with Naomi — both in his brain and in front of a very confused Dean — and tried to resist her prompting to kill Dean. But he lost that battle. In order to pry it from Dean’s hands, Castiel had to beat Dean to a pulp, as Naomi had trained him to. Then punch by awful punch, he turned Dean’s
beautiful face into a bloody mess.
And just before Cas was about to deliver the final — probably life-ending blow — Dean said probably the only thing that could have gotten him out of the situation. “This isn’t you,” he told Cas. “Cas, I know you’re in there. I know you can hear me. Cas, it’s me. We’re family. We need you; I need you.”
With that, Cas broke the bond with Naomi, dropped the knife, picked up the Angel Tablet, and bolted. (He fixed Dean, too.) According to Cas, he had to protect the Angel Tablet from Naomi — and Dean.
Crisis was averted inside, but outside, things went to you-know-where when the King of Hell arrived. Luckily, Meg has been stationed outside with Sam, so she was able to put up a fight. But in the end, she got a knife to the gut for her actions. Sniff. Bye, Meg.
So tell me, gang, were you sad to see Meg go? Did you enjoy the Megstiel scenes? Did you enjoy the semi-bonding moments between Meg and Sam? Where do you think Castiel is going? What do you think Cas meant when he said Sam was hurt in “ways he can’t heal”? (That’s concerning.) Did you have trouble watching the beating scene like I did? And what the heck is going on between Naomi and Crowley now?
“Would it kill these ass-hats to label things in something other than hieroglyphics?” — Dean
“Hey Doc Holliday, you alright over there.” — Dean
“What kind of flowers says, ‘Thanks for killing demons’?” — Dean
“You know, I can hear you both. I am a celestial being.” — Castiel
“So I have to ask — what’s up with the hair?” — Dean to Meg
“You know, I get why Crowley calls you Moose now.” — Meg
“Do I look like Google for you?” — Meg
“I still don’t know who Clarence is.” — Cas
Meg: “You remember everything?”
Cas: “If you’re referring to the pizza man, yes I remember the pizza man. And it’s a good memory.”
“You really think we can trust Megstiel?” — Dean
“I miss the simplicity [of the apocalypse] — I was bad, you were good, life was easier. Now it’s all so messy. I’m kinda good, which sucks. You’re kinda bad, which is kind of all manner of hot. We survive this, I’m gonna order some pizza and we’re gonna move some furniture around. You understand?” — Meg to Castiel
“Wait, that’s how you spent your last year? With a chick?! Lame.” — Meg
Dean: “I may not be able to carry the burden that comes along with these trials, but I can carry you.”
Sam: You realized you just kinda quoted Lord of the Rings, right?
Dean: C’mon, man. But it was the Rudy hobbit! Rudy Hobbit always gets a pass.
Dean: Shut up.
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