By Sandra Gonzalez
Updated November 26, 2013 at 12:00 PM EST
Liane Hentscher/The CW

We were so close! I mean, closer than we have been all season long. But, alas, Dean once again did not spill his secret about Zeke to Sam. Sigh.

Of course, it’s not like Dean he didn’t want to finally tell Sam the truth. In fact, he was totally willing to go there in tonight’s episode, but was advised against doing so by Zeke, who’s really becoming a pain in my butt.

Speaking of body parts usually hidden under clothing, tonight’s episode was about virgins. Rather, recent non-virgins.

After being called by Jody Mills, Sam and Dean found themselves investigating a case of several missing people who all attended the same pro-abstinence church group. To get on the inside, Sam and Dean took a chastity vow of their own to become Virgins Reloaded, but this turned out to be the cause of more trouble for them.

You see, there was a Roman goddess named Vesta lurking around who was sacrificing virgins who broke their purity pledges. (There must have been something in the water — or very little on TV — because the town at the center of tonight’s investigation was full of vow breakers.) And, soon after the brothers took the pledge, Dean Winchester found himself to be among them, thanks to a chance run-in with a former porn star named who was also in the group. (She was the star of Casa Erotica, a porn movie that has been referenced on the show for years.)

Now, when Dean signed on the dotted line, neither him nor Sam knew what they were hunting. So I can’t blame the guy for going for it. But c’mon, Dean; you’re in the middle of a case!

Upon realizing what was going on, Sam and Jody set out to rescue Dean and Co., which they did. But during the rescue, Sam had an eye opening encounter with Vesta, who had been posing as the head of the pro-abstinence group, in which she referred to his insides as “all Duck tape and safety pins inside.”

As you might have guessed, even after the action was over, Sam was troubled over Vesta’s comment. Combined with his low energy, he was worried that there was something seriously wrong with him. (There is, dude.) “Maybe this is just the way I am,” he lamented to Dean. His brother, of course, knew the truth — Vesta was talking about Zeke and Sam’s tiredness was him still healing. But Dean couldn’t just say that; though, unlike the past few weeks, he did try. “I can’t let you put this on yourself. Listen to me; it’s not you, Sam,” he said. That’s when Zeke beamed in and cut him off. “Your brother is not ready,” he told Dean.

So when WILL Sam be ready? Zeke claimed it would “not much longer.” As we all know, though, it won’t be that simple when the time does come for Sam to know the truth. In the meantime, we have to put up with Zeke moving back the finish line. Frankly, he’s getting annoying, and that feeling I have, I’m sure, is mostly a result of my heart continuing to break for Sam. (When his nose twitched in despair at the end of the episode, I may have audibly sad-gasped. Yes, that’s a thing.)

So, guys, tell me: Are you ready for Zeke to move out of Casa de Cranium? Do you think he’ll go quietly? Will Sam go easy on Dean, who was, honestly, just trying to save his life? What do you think will be the next arc for the brothers once the secret does come out? Do you think they’ll break up like the JoBros? (Ugh, been there.) On a more positive note: Did anyone else LOVE Jody’s return? Do we want to see more of her? And can someone please make me a GIF of Dean’s explosion gesture?


Jodi: Dragons? Those are things?

Sam: Too many things are things.”

“The scene with the tacos, it made me want to join a mariachi band just to be near you.” — Dean

“I think he crossed someone off his bucket list.” — Sam re: Dean

“I’d tell you boys to stay out of trouble but what’s the point?” — Jody