910-Los Diablos!
Credit: Chuck Hodes/Showtime
Episode 803

Just when we thought Fiona was out of vodka, they pour some back in!

With every episode, we get closer to Emmy Rossum’s Shameless departure, and with every episode, I assume things will finally turn around for Fiona, setting the table for a happy goodbye. Well, we’re still waiting as Fiona’s spiral only worsens when she’s fired and eventually arrested. Here’s to hoping that she won’t get the same sendoff as Ian.

So grab a beer, bail your sibling out of prison (or siblings now), and find out how shameless your favorite Gallagher was this week.

1. Fiona

“Los Diablos!” opens with one of the shows most tense scenes in a while as Fiona does some late night accounting alone inside Patsy’s. When she comes back from the office, three guys are there and definitely not coming in for the food. Luckily, a cook, who was outside cleaning, struts in with a knife. They leave, she locks the door and freaks out. After sleeping in a booth with the knife clenched to her chest, Fiona wakes up and heads home, where she pops some ibuprofen and throws out all her vodka. She arrives later at work with a whole new attitude, but it’s too late as Margo shows up and (rightfully) fires her. That determination to turn her life around is quickly gone. And if only her getting the vodka out of the trash was the worst thing to happen. Upon hearing about Liam’s lemonade stand getting shut down, Fiona organizes a block party right in front of that angry lady’s house. It’s all fun and games until Fiona hops the fence and punches her, just as the cops arrive. Fiona tries to make a run for it but is easily grabbed and taken away. Will this be what finally causes her to get it together?! Like Ford wasn’t worth all this!

2. No One

The combination of how bad it was for Fiona and how good everyone else was means that the No. 2 spot should just be vacant for emphasis.

3. Amy and Jemma

Those twin girls are straight psychos.

4. Carl

Carl is back working the corners, but this time it’s as a sign spinner for a seafood restaurant, which even prompts his past drug dealing associates to wonder if he’s stepping on their territory. He’s not and what he’s also not doing is shooting down the obvious advances of his new boss. Kelly deserves better!

5. Mikey

While Frank and his new frenemy seem like a match made in Shameless heaven, there’s no excuse for spending your entire life savings on a Blockbuster franchise in 2013.

6. Debbie

Thanks to her hard work providing a safe household for the family, Debbie would have been much lower in the rankings, but I saw that extra look she gave Kelly. C’mon, Debs, bros before your bro’s girlfriend!

7. Liam

In the biggest upset in Shameless history, all of the Gallagher men are showing their work ethic this week. After being turned down for a job at a juice store, Liam starts his own booming lemonade stand business in front of a nearby house. The owner is a jerk, but, like, you could have set up shop at your own place [ducks to avoid Fiona punching me].

8. Frank

Frank is determined to become the Hobo Loco Man and be able to provide for his new family, no matter what it takes. Plus, he should be a shoo-in since eating food from a dumpster, sleeping outside, and drinking that disgusting alcoholic beverage is just another day for Frank Gallagher. And I do have to say, Frank mixing Shameless up with Homeland was my favorite “previously on” bit in a long time.

9. Kelly/Ingrid/Tami

So far, these three ladies have all been positive influences on our Gallagher men. I mean, besides Ingrid insisting on having six of Frank/Carl’s kids.

10. Lip

Remember the good old days of reckless Lip? Yeah, I miss them too, but I guess Lip being a responsible adult who is in a healthy relationship, volunteers at a retirement home, and looks out for troubled youths is good for him. Xan is back after her mom left her behind at a motel. Lip is freaking out, but Tami is staying and helping. See, positive influence.

11. Kev and V

Kev is doing whatever it takes to protect his new son, Santiago, whether it’s by keeping him away from his new sisters, attempting to teach the twins about racism, dressing the boy just like him, or allowing him to go back to Guatemala with his uncle and real sister. I mean, it’s not Kev and V’s fault that America isn’t living up to the hype (“You caught us at a bad time,” admits Kev). So now Santiago is gone and Kev is again on the hunt for a son…which maybe will eventually lead him to the actual son he had with V’s mom. Just a thought!

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Episode 803
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