Fittingly, the Shameless season 8 finale, “Sleepwalking,” begins how so many of the recent episodes have — with a busy morning at the Gallagher household. Both Lip and Carl are trying to make early exits without their ladies knowing. Lip’s unsuccessful as Sierra wakes up as he’s leaving for work. “I’m proud of you,” she shares. “This last year… you’re strong. I didn’t know that before.” She drops the L-bomb, which Lip reciprocates, but not before a noticeable pause. Lip’s struggle to quickly get out of the house continues when he comes upon Carl attempting to climb out the window. The newly married teenager needs to run some errands and asks Lip to tell Kassidi that he’s in the shower.
Even when Lip gets outside, he can’t leave yet. Liam is passed out in the yard, since apparently he’s a big sleepwalker. Lip brings his youngest brother inside, where Kassidi is whipping up breakfast and Frank’s planning “one more big score.” As predicted, Frank wants to rob Dylan’s house when they take Liam on vacation to the Caribbean. “We have a moral duty to rip this a–hole off,” argues Frank, who likens himself to Robin Hood, although he’s the only poor person he’ll be giving the wealth to. He says Liam can go on the trip, but first, the boy needs to take pictures of the valuables and get the security code. Meanwhile, Kassidi is tired of waiting on Carl and goes to check on him in the bathroom, leading to her shrieking. When Liam asks what’s going on, Frank replies, “Marital bliss.”
Speaking of marriage, quite the situation is taking place next door. Kev, V, and Svetlana are standing over a tied and gagged Frelania. Also as predicted, Svetlana’s plan is to take Frelania’s place in marrying her rich, old, senile fiancé. One problem: Frelania’s mom is en route. Second problem: She’s a cannibal. Third problem: Frelania has to pee. That last one gets solved by Kev pulling down her pants (revealing “Yes, daddy?” underwear) so she can use a bowl. And in hopes of neutralizing the mom, Kev and V go to pick her up at the airport. Kev is armed with a driver’s outfit and a sign that has the cannibal’s first name, with the last name misspelled and scratched out, replaced by “super long last name.” Never change, Kevin Ball. Upon arriving back at the Alibi, they take care of problems No. 1 and 2 by knocking out Frelania’s mom with a glass of valium-infused vodka.
Like she has been so often this season, Fiona is absent from the busy Gallagher morning. But that’s okay, as it’s never a dull moment at their house. After reacting to Debbie’s burned off toes, Fiona gets a similar suggestion from Frank in terms of dealing with her unwanted tenants. Frank says she should “burn them out” and even recommends a guy named Pyro Paulie for the job. Speaking of illegal activities, Trevor shows up looking for Ian, for whom there’s an arrest warrant out (I guess you can’t just light cars on fire anymore). Fiona can’t get ahold of her brother and worries he’s once again gone off his meds.
Fiona also has her own legal problems to deal with. She goes to meet with her unnamed lawyer, a.k.a Janice from Friends, who reveals that the homeless people are willing to settle the lawsuit in exchange for $3 million, the title to the building, and the dog. Oh, that’s it? The dog is a step too far for Fiona. Instead of taking the deal, Janice suggests Fiona sell the building, spend the money, and then file for bankruptcy. Damn Janice, that doesn’t seem like ethical advice — but I love it! Heeding that counsel, Fiona negotiates a sale with Margo, who’s lowballing her. Fiona passes on the deal and, in turn, passes Margo’s test. Fiona’s entrepreneur role model says the neighborhood is on the rise and she should make the squatters one final offer.
She’s not the only Gallagher taking care of business at Patsy’s. Carl hides a duffle bag in the back office, which Sierra assumes is full of either drugs or cash. But this isn’t the old Carl, so it’s just school supplies that he’s hiding from Kassidi. Despite what he told her last week, Carl still plans on returning to school, telling Sierra that he loves Kassidi and his military brothers. “You can love two things at once if you’re not f—ing them both, right?” he asks. We can only hope so, Carl. Kassidi clearly doesn’t think so though. When Carl returns home, she tricks him into believing they’re going to have sex, but she actually uses her seduction skills to handcuff his hands and feet to the bed (just in time for the release of Fifty Shades Freed!).
Conflicted, but also determined to go to the Caribbean, Liam follows his father’s orders, takes pics of the valuables at Dylan’s house, and tricks the maid into revealing the alarm code. Frank is impressed with the recon work done by his youngest. But Liam is hoping they could rob someone else, maybe someone who isn’t their friend. Frank insists that they aren’t robbing a friend, they’re robbing the rich dad. “He’s a robber baron,” argues Frank. “Stealing food from the mouths of working class children.” This rightfully leads Liam to ask if they’ll give the stuff they steal to the less fortunate, to which Frank responds, “It’s a metaphor.” That’s a no. The father-son scheming is put on hold as the police knock on the door looking for Ian. “Who?” says Frank upon the mention of his son. “Never heard of him.” Well, at least he’s a useful father when it comes to avoiding the cops.
There is one person who does now know where Ian is. Trevor has tracked his former (current?) boyfriend to the basement of a church. The fugitive is sitting quietly, refusing to eat, and unsure what to do next. “I’m making a difference here,” he says. “I feel good. Alive.” Trevor’s not happy, because the police are threatening to round up the kids at the youth center. “These kids believe in you, but this isn’t about you helping them anymore,” opines Trevor. “This is about you loving all of the attention and their hero worship.” He wants Ian to turn himself in, declaring, “That’s what a real leader would have the courage to do.” Sorry Trevor, Ian’s not ready to do that. Instead, he wakes up the kids who are hiding out with him and tells them he needs a lot of sheets. “I know what I have to do now — and it’s big,” he reveals. Let’s pray that it’s similar to Fluffy Town.
Time to check in with Debbie. She brings Franny to a party for one of Derek’s family members. Now in the military and engaged, Derek takes the opportunity to request joint custody of his daughter, since he’s able to afford to pay child support. “Go f— yourself” is what Debbie thinks of that. Despite her initial reaction, she’s unsure if she should take her baby daddy up on his offer, so she seeks Carl’s guidance. But considering that Kassidi’s in the shower, Carl would much rather Debbie cut him loose than chit-chat. He has no such luck.
Back to the double Russian kidnapping: Kev is watching Frelania and her unconscious mother. Frelania is trying to seduce him with her underwear (could he be daddy?). He’s snapped out of it by V calling him upstairs, which is only slightly delayed by him adjusting himself. As if Kevin weren’t already speechless enough at the sight of Svetlana in her wedding dress, he’s even more so when told that he’ll walk her down the aisle (so I guess he did end up being daddy). Later at the wedding, while preparing to fulfill his duties, Kev meets the old man (still as senile as ever) and his son, who casually mentions that there’s a prenup. This is a surprise to our favorite throuple, but the wedding goes off without a hitch — although it’s worth noting that when Svetlana takes off her vail, the groom’s son clearly looks confused. (Recap continues on page 2)