Chuck Hodes/SHOWTIME


S8 E7
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December 17, 2017 at 10:00 PM EST

Is it just me or is it a huge bummer when the Gallagher siblings fight with each other? I have six siblings, so believe me, I get that brothers and sisters argue, but Shameless‘ sibling arguments make me sadder than my own. We need Fiona and Ian and everyone else scheming together, not battling!

After Fiona successfully blocked the Youth Center from getting the church last week, it’s war in the Gallagher household. Fiona gets an early morning wake-up call via an involuntary Ice Bucket Challenge, courtesy of Ian. “What the f—?” she screams, acknowledging that this has been an ongoing morning routine. “She survived prison” is Carl’s excuse for not intervening, while Frank agrees that sibling rivalries need to be handled between the siblings. The kitchen clears out when an almost-naked Brad walks in and subsequently falls to the floor crying. “Get it together, loser,” declares Debbie. Lip soon discovers his off-the-wagon sponsor and makes him get dressed, as they’re due in court.

Meanwhile, next door, Kevin is so determined to learn how to dominate V in bed that he’s watching dominatrix videos, opining, “It looks painful.” The girls are nearby, but don’t worry, because he’s got the volume on mute, so it’s not weird!

Youens is a no-show at Patsy’s, which isn’t ideal since he’s the one they’re going to court for. Lip has a brief exchange with Sierra, who is dealing with something “f—ed up” (let’s note that for future eps), and then tracks Youens to his house, where the professor is lying on the floor in his own vomit. Not ideal for the morning of his DUI trial. Attempts to clean him up in the shower instead end with Brad now also having Youens’ vomit on him. Wrangling those two is no easy task for Lip, who agrees to stop by Brad’s house so the recovering alcoholic can at least wish his angered wife a happy birthday, even if he has to stay in the car.

Frank is officially back on the job hunt, and for a man with only weeks of work experience, you’ve got to respect his confidence. Someone has been watching too many movies — during his first interview, he slides over a small piece of paper with his salary demands written on it. Unfortunately for Frank, there are a few problems: The interviewer doesn’t even make that much, and there are no management positions available, just a minimum wage overnight shift. “Offer declined,” proclaims the former employee of the month. “This collar is white; I’ll take my talents elsewhere.” At least he tries to, but his next interview doesn’t go any better when he’s told, “I’m afraid with your résumé, all I can show you is the door.” That’s cold blooded (she sure won’t be awarded nicest interviewer of the month anytime soon).

While his father may be struggling to find work, business is booming for Carl. He’s got a new group of basement rehab patients, including a rather feisty young lady named Cassidy who has another idea for how he can make the $3,527 he still needs for school: pretend to hold her for ransom. She’s very convincing; Carl agrees to the plan, but she’s the true visionary and really dives deep into character for the shoot.

With Mrs. Cardinal’s body and Hoarders-level junk all cleared out, Fiona and Nessa are preparing the now-vacant apartment for an open house, which means putting out lemons, a.k.a “hipster catnip,” and replacing the broken door. What probably won’t help Fiona rent out the unit is Ian egging the building and spray-painting some NSFW words on the sidewalk. “Forgiveness is not exactly a Gallagher trait,” shares Fiona. (I’d love to see a list of all the Gallagher traits.)

Fiona begins to yearn for the days of eggs and spray paint, as Ian was able to convince the owner of the lot next door to grant him temporary occupancy. And since the Youth Center kids don’t have a new place to live thanks to Fiona, he’s having them camp out there to protest her. The “Occupy Fiona” and “F— Fiona” chants start just as Trevor shows up; he’s not a huge fan of his kids being roped into this family drama.

Kevin has put in the study hours, so it’s time for him to put his domination skills to the test. V arrives home to her partner in an S&M outfit, ordering her to undress. She’s into it and gets on the bed, prepared for Kevin to spank her with a ping pong paddle, but he can’t go through with hurting her and ends up uttering their safe word, “French fry.” The second attempt proves not to be much of an improvement. First, he leaves a note saying, “Come upstairs please.” And while he’s acting tougher, he spills hot wax on himself, leading V to call the new safe word.

To replace Mrs. Cardinal’s old door, Nessa has sent an Irishman named Ford to help. One slight issue: He refuses to get rid of it. Instead, he’s going to fix it for free. V stops by, opining that Ford is “cute,” while Fiona insists he’s “weird.” Fifty bucks says they’re hooking up within two episodes. The sexual chemistry is interrupted by the fire department arriving after reports of fire code violations. Guess who they came from. “Game on, motherf—er,” Fiona yells outside to Ian. (Recap continues on page 2)

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