Mrs. Cardinal’s death seems to be hitting Fiona harder than expected, especially when she finds pictures of the old lady and her late husband. Luckily, V stops by and the BFFs make each other feel a little better. Seeing Fiona and realizing she’s not attracted to her helps V realize she isn’t gay. Fiona suggests that V isn’t attracted to Svetlana because she’s a woman, but rather because of how she bosses her around. And in return, V cheers up Fiona, who’s worried she could end up dying alone like Mrs. Cardinal did. V insists she won’t let that happen.
After a day of confusion, Svetlana encourages Kevin to experiment with a young stud at the bar. The two men go into the bathroom, where the guy drops his pants. Kevin gets on his knees, only to discover that he’s not turned on, even dropping his pants to prove it. He might not be gay, but I admire his dedication to finding out if he was or not.
Later, Kevin updates V on his failed mission. “I tried, but I’m not even part gay,” he shares. “Just a boring hetero dude.” He admits he’s jealous and wanted to make her jealous. V’s revelation of being turned on by Svetlana’s domination makes Kevin feel better since he contends that he could do that. Good luck — I’m not sure anyone can dominate like Svetlana can.
Lip’s search for his sponsor leads him to the doughnut shop that Brad previously robbed. Apparently, he was there with a woman who’s still there passed out. She may be messed up and have her pants halfway down, but at least she gets her hair extensions back! Youens’ insistence that they give up on Brad doesn’t sit well with Lip. “How the f— am I supposed to make it if Brad can’t?” he declares. “You got no faith, then that’s on you. But I’m doing this.” His commitment soon pays off as they find Brad, who doesn’t go quietly, hitting Lip with an elbow. Tired of getting beat up, Lip punches Brad in the ribs and throws him in the car. Side note: Can we talk about how perfect it is that Carl put a handwritten sign on the windshield that reads “UBBER”?
While Carl and Lip bond over saving an addict, Fiona and Ian are still beefing. Fiona tries to make up, but Ian isn’t having it. “Hey, we’re family,” she says. “There’s nothing more important than that.” Ian disagrees, believing she cares more about money. “I’m not going to apologize to you or anyone else for trying to better myself,” contends Fiona. But Ian gets the last word, declaring, “I don’t know who you are anymore.” I do. She’s not a businesswoman; she’s a business, woman!
Let’s check back in on Debbie Bauer. The fight with the lady landed them both in jail. After more than a day in the slammer, Debbie gets bailed out by her friends, sending her in a mad dash to the pharmacy. And she gets a pill just as time expires thanks to her Middle Eastern pal yelling in Arabic and scaring the other customers away. No 24 ripoff would be complete without the threat of terrorism.
Lip is trying to sober Brad up with some coffee at the diner (are there any other restaurants in Chicago?). Brad thinks his kid is better off without him. “Everyone’s old man is an asshole,” says Lip, who would know. Refusing to give up on his sponsor, Lip gives a passionate motivational speech that’s so good it belongs in a sports movie. Speaking of sports, Carl took care of the MJ statue’s arm by burying it, only leaving the ball and part of the arm sticking out. And somehow, that arm would still be able to put up 20 points per game.
Meanwhile, Frank’s run of good luck may have finally run out. His company is on the verge of going out of business, so Frank has been let go. He actually takes the news very well, especially considering he just bought a brand new car. “Men like us, we land on our feet,” he tells the corporate employee. “We’re diligent, dependable, honest. We got gumption, can-do spirit. Temporary setback at best.” I just hope this doesn’t undo all of his progress. Well, on the other hand, bad Frank was always so much fun!
As Frank takes down his employee of the month picture, Fiona is putting up the picture of Mrs. Cardinal and her husband in the building. It’s not the only thing she kept; Fiona couldn’t bare to let animal control take the dog. She might be his new owner, but she’s smart enough not to allow any licking (we all know where that tongue has been).
The most shameless character of the week: Mrs. Cardinal’s dog. Eating humans, even if dead, is not okay around these parts.
What did you think? Will losing his job turn Frank back into the old Frank?