After sealing the deal with their donor for the church money, Ian and Trevor seal a much different kind of deal. (Damn, Fiona and Liam are basically the only two not getting any action.) But their excitement doesn’t last long, as Margo is no longer interested in renting out the church. Unbeknownst to them, Mel came through with some info and Fiona convinced the art gallery guys to reconsider buying it. Ian isn’t ready to give up, so he goes back to the donor, hoping to get him to help them buy the church. He resorts to blackmail, but the man’s wife already knows about her husband’s trips to the gay club. And she actually hopes Ian is willing to pleasure both men and women. “Do it for the kids,” says the man. Not even Trick Daddy loves the kids that much.
A day of cleaning grease traps and spray painting the church has left Carl with only $150. Knowing he needs to start making much more, he chugs some Red Bull and takes Fiona’s car so he can drive for Uber. And when I say drive for Uber, I mean randomly driving around to steal their customers by offering a lower-cost ride. He’s also finally ready to free his hostage. “Go forth with integrity and courage,” he tells the seemingly grateful addict. “Right your wrongs and help others do the same.” Saint Carl.
Hoping to settle their differences, V and Svetlana meet at the Alibi before opening. But Svetlana isn’t interested in talking business; she wants them to go back to having sex. V (kind of) tries to resist, but Svetlana begins pleasuring her. Upon finding out about the intimate meeting, Kevin tells V, “She can’t just slut her way back into our lives.” He says all three of them will meet to sort things out and they won’t let her “pull that titty hypnosis sex s—.”
A week after Sean’s return rocked Fiona’s world, Debbie feels her sister’s pain. When picking up Franny at her grandmother’s house, Debbie is shocked by the emergence of Derek, her baby daddy who ran off to Florida. She storms out and takes Franny with her. How does she react to this surprise? By taking an ecstasy-fueled road trip with her friends and Franny. That’s from the school of old Frank Gallagher parenting.
If Lip didn’t already find a new sponsor, he’ll need to now, because Brad has officially fallen off the wagon. Lip finds his boss drunk and belligerent at a bar. The duo get in a physical fight when Lip refuses to let Brad drive home drunk. Brad wins, meaning Lip’s few weeks of ass kickings continue.
It’s going much better for some of the other Gallagher men. Liam got an A on his latest test and Carl has a prospective new business. The druggie hostage was so thrilled with Carl’s out-of-the-box detox program that he’s returned with $5,000 from his parents, plus his girlfriend; Carl will receive $2,500 for getting her clean. What a transition from drug dealer to drug counselor.
Ian’s hard night of work for the kids paid off, and he’s ready to put a down payment on the church. One problem: Fiona, Margo, and the art guys are finalizing the sale. Somehow, this is the first time Fiona and Ian have realized they’re on different sides of this deal. The siblings get in a huge argument over it, with Fiona declaring, “Find another f—ing church.”
That’s one way to settle a dispute. Svetlana has other tactics. Our favorite throuple is negotiating a three-way split of the Alibi’s profits, but Kev makes the mistake of making a KFC run (he’s now officially taken his Kentucky love too far). He returns to find Svetlana leaving the bedroom with a signed contract for a 50/50 split. I don’t know whether to be more impressed by Svetlana or disappointed in V.
The most shameless character of the week: Carl kept a guy hostage. And yet he also helped the guy get off drugs. But he still held the guy hostage.
What do you think? Do you miss the characters being a little more, dare I say, shameless?