The Gallaghers pay the price for their inheritance
Episode 803
Credit: Paul Sarkis/Showtime
Episode 803

Over seven-plus seasons, there aren’t many terrible things that the Gallaghers haven’t done. Stealing a baby: check. Helping an escaped convict flee the country: check. Using your younger uncle as a drug mule: check. Well, now we can add digging up your dead mom’s grave to recover stolen meth to the list.

“God Bless Her Rotting Soul” begins with the Gallagher clan getting their own “previously on” as Ian and Carl catch everyone up (minus Fiona and Liam) on Monica’s drug-dealing ex wanting his meth back. “We can be pretty scary too, if we have to,” suggests Lip. I mean, they’re lower-class-family scary, but not meth-drug-dealer scary. Now only high on life and possibility, Frank has no interest in the subject, blaming the old Frank. He proclaims himself new Frank…or young Frank…or Francis — he really can’t decide. They all get quiet and quickly leave when Fiona and Liam come down upstairs, except for Frank, who has finally settled on going by Francis.

The bills are starting to pile up for the Balls, which makes V slightly regret getting Svetlana arrested. Meanwhile, Kevin is preoccupied with researching genetic tests so they know what he could be passing down to the girls. His time with breast cancer has managed to turn him into an amateur oncologist. Fiona, who comes over for cleaning supplies (R.I.P. the topless maid service), becomes his first patient when he teaches her how to self-examine. He declares her good to go, while she cracks, “Most action I’ve gotten in weeks.” I’m sure the blue condom guy from the season’s opening scene is still available!

Last week, Lip started paying Youens back for rehab, so what is the professor using the money for? More booze, of course. His drinking and driving leads to him busting through someone’s living room like he’s the Kool-Aid man. And with his family refusing to take his calls, Youens calls his protégé to bail him out of jail. The old guy isn’t doing so hot, which is understandable considering he broke his arm, blew a 1.8, can’t get a lawyer, and is facing major prison time since this is his fifth DUI. “I don’t even think Frank has five DUIs,” Lip says to Brad, who perfectly responds, “Only because he doesn’t have a car.”

The mom with a million kids might be out of Fiona’s building, but she left behind a few things, including baby feces and multiple nasty names scribbled on the wall. As Fiona attempts to clean the unit, Nessa stops by with coffee, while her girlfriend stops by with attitude and news that their friends want to move in. Fiona won’t promise them the apartment, so she shows it to a tech guy, who’s ready to move in, until Mel scares him off with talk of bed bugs. This paves the way for Mel’s friends, but they were expecting to pay much less than Fiona’s asking price. The poop-filled baby diapers in the oven sure aren’t helping her bargaining power.

Frank Francis has fully bought into his new name, even looking up its origins and history, making him wonder if he should go by Saint Francis. One of his fellow employees had a question but has been left speechless over Frank’s soliloquy on the subject. “Is it because my presence brings you peace?” Frank asks the young man. The name talk continues when Fiona, who’s impressed he still has a job, shows up and calls him Frank. He requests she use either Dad, Father, Francis, or Saint. She requests his employee discount. Neither of them obliges, even though, Frank does offer her $7 toward the supplies she’s buying. “I give what I have to the poor,” he says, much to her dismay.

Kevin’s genetic results are in and he’s from the rare Huntsville subgroup, one of the most inbred populations in the U.S. and hailing from Kentucky. “Did you say inbred?” asks V, with Kevin adding, “Did you say Kentucky?” Back at the near-empty Alibi, as Kevin confuses inbreeding for cannibalism, he reveals that he has no interest in finding the people who left him at a gas station when he was 2 years old. They’re interrupted by a Russian realtor hired by Svetlana to sell the bar. This sends V off with Yevgeny, while Kevin and the realtor stay behind to talk breast self-exams.

After being told that the angry meth dealer stopped by his work, Ian rushes home to find Carl being drowned in the same hot tub that he’s been using to entice neighborhood girls to come over. The dealer, who we learn is a crazy psycho named Eric, isn’t buying that the “indestructible” Monica lost the meth. He threatens to hurt the family if he doesn’t get the drugs or $70,000 in 24 hours.

Shortly after telling her school friends about her “perfect” situation, Debbie returns home to find Neal and nurse Lakisha together. They’re in love, meaning Debbie, whom Neal deems a horrible person, is out. The situation doesn’t get too awkward since with perfect timing she’s summoned by Carl to come home for an urgent family meeting (sans Fiona). (Recap continues on page 2)

Lip only left Youens alone long enough to make a grocery run, returning to find the professor passed out in his own vomit. Talk of rehab falls on deaf ears with Youens, who’s more interested in death than jail. “So with great affection and gratitude, I’m going to have to ask you to piss off,” he tells Lip. But Lip isn’t ready to let his mentor “just roll over and die,” so he brings Brad and company over for an in-home A.A. session.

With Yevgeny in tow, V goes to visit Svetlana in ICE holding. After some negotiating, they come to an agreement to share bar and parenting duties in exchange for V telling ICE that their marriage is legit, which leads to Svetlana’s release. With Kevin’s family whole again, he calls his birth family, who are thrilled to hear from him. And apparently, he’s Bart from Kentucky. Personally, I’d stick with Kevin from Chicago.

With only $9,000 between them, the Gallaghers aren’t anywhere close to the $70,000 that Eric wants. Wait, new working man Frank comes home and offers to chip in…$7. So make that $9,007. All right, time to go see Fiona. Frank stays behind because he seems to be coming down with something.

Considering she was always against selling the meth, Fiona is really enjoying the fact that her siblings need her help. Following a lecture, she requests they all say, “You were right and I was wrong, Fiona.” They all abide, except for Carl. “I wasn’t wrong,” he tells his big sister. “I took what was mine and I’m not sorry for it. That’s how life works sometimes, it didn’t go my way. Now, can you please tell us where you put the rest of the drugs so that motherf—er doesn’t eat your eyeballs too?” Never change, Carl. Frank eventually shows up and he’s figured out what’s ailing him. “I’ve discovered guilt,” he announces. Thankfully, that means he’s now willing to lend out his employee discount.

Armed with shovels, the family heads to the cemetery to dig up Monica’s casket and get the remaining meth that Fiona put in there during the funeral. “This is some seriously sick s—,” declares Ian. Adds Debbie, “Who buries their mother with meth?,” to which Fiona rightfully fires back, “Shouldn’t you be asking what kind of a mother leaves her kids meth?” Instead of digging, Frank is speculating on what emotions he’ll feel next. It won’t be crucifixion since he’s already been nailed to a cross by Monica. “It was a sex thing, I don’t like to talk about it,” he shares. Carl has had enough of digging and grabs a bulldozer to finish the job. As the casket opens, revealing their mother’s decaying body, they all fight the urge to pull a Youens and vomit. But through teamwork, the drugs are recovered. After this ordeal, Carl is ready to admit that Fiona was right.

Looking like the dirty, smelly badasses that they are, the family struts into the storage unit to settle things with Eric. But even with the two bags of meth, cash, and Carl’s hot tub (R.I.P. Carl’s success with girls), they’re still $37,000 short. As a result, Eric pulls his gun, which prompts Frank to step in and handle this like a boss. “That’s it,” he declares, saying that half of the drugs belonged to Monica. “And if you come near my family Eric, as God is my witness, I will bury you with her.” They’re good to go. Frank leads them out of the unit. “Thanks, Francis,” says Fiona, with Frank Francis smiling and putting his arm around his daughter. No, you’re the one crying right now!

Now cleaned up and cleaning up her empty apartment, Fiona gets a visit from Mel. Fiona knows what she did with the tech guy and threatens to give Mel bed bugs if she doesn’t call him and straighten it out. “If you want to go ghetto on me, I will beat you at that game every f—ing time,” Fiona asserts. Preach!

The most shameless character of the week: This was a tough one, and not for the reason you’d ordinary think. Everyone was actually pretty well behaved, but let’s go with Debbie for her general treatment of sweet Neal.

What did you think? Are you enjoying the new and young Francis? Do you think we’re headed for a Fiona and Nessa romance?

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Episode 803
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