Kevin deals with a health scare, while Lip faces his guilty conscience
Episode 802
Credit: Paul Sarkis/SHOWTIME
Episode 803

Angry meth dealers, sex with “chubs,” and cocaine pizza. You know what that means — time for another episode of Shameless!

“Where’s My Meth?” starts off innocently enough with more bonding for Fiona and Nessa. Fiona had better stay friends with this friendly accountant, because Nessa’s one of the only tenants not late on their rent. While Nessa insists she should clean house, Fiona’s been late on her rent a time or a hundred, so she wants to cut everyone a break. That stance will surely soften as she gets to know these delinquent residents, including a lady with a million rowdy kids, a crackhead couple, and an old lady who threatens to sic her nonexistent dog on Fiona.

Back at the Gallagher house, Frank needs some fashion advice for a job interview. “This Frank is different,” he insists to his doubtful children. “You’re about to witness the rebirth of a productive member of society.” Mr. Adeeb, the head of a Home Depot-like store Frank is interviewing at, is less skeptical of Frank’s dedication to change. Despite Frank’s unimpressive résumé, which he explains as having “been a stay-at-home dad most of my life,” he gets hired.

The loss of Monica is having a different effect on one of the other Gallagher men. Before he let Carl take his meth to sell, Ian felt the need to say one last goodbye to the inheritance left by his mom. “Once it’s gone, so is she,” he argues to his brothers. He further opens up about his feelings to Trevor, who has an idea to cheer him up: go to a fat guy bar. “The bigger, the better,” declares Trevor. I hope that’s true, because they go pretty big, hooking up with two “chubs.” After getting pleasured by his chub, Ian goes to leave, only to be turned into a little spoon. He begins to cry, most likely about Monica, but maybe a little bit about the spooning situation, too.

Following his doctor’s visit last week, Kevin and his “Save Second Base” T-shirt have joined a breast cancer support group. When it’s his time to share, he confesses that he’s worried he’ll never get to see his kids grow up, take his shirt off at the gym, or “let men feel me up for tips.” The ladies try to cheer him up with a big group hug.

New Liam (yes, everyone noticed that a different actor, Christian Isaiah, has taken over the role) gets a reprieve from the madness of the Gallagher household when he goes for a sleepover at his rich friend Dylan’s house. It’s the little things non-lower class families have that amaze Liam, including seat belts and their own bathrooms. The good times continue the next night with Dylan coming over to Liam’s. Dylan has no problem leaving behind his lavish lifestyle if it means no supervision and KFC for supper. His mom, on the other hand, doesn’t feel the same, as she throws away Dylan’s clothes upon picking him up.

Usain Bolt Lip is doing some more angry long-distance running. (Can he at least go buy some workout clothes?) His destination is the diner, where Brad lectures him over missing a meeting. Lip’s jealousy over Sierra and Charlie continues to build. By the way, not sure if anyone else knew this, but Charlie is played by Chet Hanks. Yes, the son of Jingle All the Way star Rita Wilson!

While Lip pines for Sierra, Debbie’s busy neglecting Sierra’s brother. Neal has basically become Debbie’s free babysitter (he, Lip, and Steve Harrington should start a club), as he only sees his girlfriend when she’s home between work and class. And by class, I mean probably going to class and then definitely going drinking and getting hickeys from beauty students.

Fiona returns from a long day of landlording to find Ian alone in the hot tub listening to some sad music. Once she gets in to join him, he tells her about what I’m deeming “the chub crying incident” and his sadness over Monica. “I don’t think you’re a freak because you don’t want to forget about her,” says Fiona, who had long ago moved past their mother. “I think you’re a freak because you cried in a fat dude’s arms.” The siblings enjoy a good tub and chuckle.

The new Frank (same actor, different outlook on life) is riding the high of his first real job in who knows how many years — maybe ever. He’s now got a bank account and a cell phone, plus he’s making quite the first impression at work. “You don’t want to hurt yourself, end up on disability,” he tells his coworkers, showing them the proper lift technique. “Nothing respectable about being a drain on the system.” His one day of hard work doesn’t go unnoticed, as he’s quickly promoted. This is the fastest rise to power we’ve seen since… Oh, never mind. (Recap continues on page 2)

It’s time for Kevin’s biopsy, and when he wakes up, he and V aren’t feeling great about his prognosis. In a sweet moment, they sing Boyz II Men together as they wait for the doctor to update them. Dear God and Shameless writers, you better not take this lovable dummy from us! And the results are…benign! Wait, someone tell Kevin that this is good news because he thinks he’s dying. Thankfully, V explains it to him.

No cancer and he has the Alibi back? Everything’s coming up Kevin. Now wearing a “F— Cancer” shirt, he celebrates by buying a round for the bar, which includes Debbie. Kind of crazy that she’s now the Gallagher who most often frequents the Alibi. With Derek’s mom watching Franny, Neal FaceTimes Debbie to ask for a sponge bath. Sorry Neal, she’s too busy getting hickeys and shampoo jobs from handsome beauty students. But Debbie’s nursing school friend, in need of a new patient, doesn’t have a problem volunteering to help Neal.

Another day, another difficult time getting rent from her tenants for Fiona. The old lady is making more fake dog noises; Crystal, the mom with a bunch of kids, makes a run for it; the druggies do pay up, but they put the check on their door with needles. Despite Nessa’s insistence that she should kick out Crystal, Fiona gives her another chance by asking for half of the rent now with a plan to pay the rest. Crystal agrees, giving her a check for one cent, addressed to a nasty man that I really shouldn’t print.

Just because Frank is on the straight and narrow doesn’t mean he can’t give mischievous advice, such as suggesting Lip “dangle a carrot” in front of Charlie. Lip does just that by ordering a “special pizza” for his romantic rival. What is a “special pizza?” Well, it’s a delicious-looking pie that happens to have a bag of cocaine resting on top of it. Upon delivery, Charlie looks rightfully nervous.

Carl has finally sold Ian’s meth, so what will he do with the money? A better hot tub? Pay his ex-boyfriend’s electricity bill? Nope, he’s getting a tattoo of Monica, who the tattoo artist thought was his girlfriend. “Bro, you should have told me that before I started working on those titties,” the artist says to Ian. Well, that’s not ideal. After everyone at home admires the fresh ink, Ian notices that Carl gave Monica’s jacket to a random girl for “a couple beers and a blowie.” Never change, Carl. He found it in their mom’s storage unit, which the brothers go to the next day. The trip down homeless memory lane is interrupted by Monica’s drug-dealing ex, who understandably wants his meth back. Speed must be in the Gallagher genes, because Ian and Carl are able to outrun him.

Speaking of meth, Debbie used her “inheritance” on welding equipment, and it’s already paying dividends when Debbie takes down Crystal’s steel door. “You f—ed with the wrong girl,” Fiona declares as she leaves an eviction notice. And the old lady had better watch out, because Fiona says she’s next, adding in some of her own barking noises for intimidation purposes.

Taking Brad’s advice, Lip is back at a meeting, but he’s shocked to also see Charlie there. Sierra’s ex, who doesn’t see Lip, tells the group about the cocaine, which he hasn’t yet done. Upon hearing this, Lip leaves, going to Charlie’s apartment, where he breaks in and dumps the drugs down the sink. Only one problem — he gets attacked by Charlie’s dog on the way back out the window. No good deed goes unpunished. Lip and his bloody leg limp into the diner to meet Brad. They’re soon joined by Charlie, who’s holding Lip’s fidget spinner. Busted. Actually, maybe not, since Charlie just thinks Lip heard the story and broke in to help him out. I smell a new bromance!

The most shameless character of the week: I know he dumped them, but Lip sent drugs to a recovering drug addict. That’s a step past shameless.

What did you think? When does Frank break bad? How excited are you that Shameless has been renewed for season 9?

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Episode 803
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