Paul Sarkis/SHOWTIME
January 14, 2018 at 10:00 PM EST


TV Show
Comedy, Drama
run date
William H. Macy, Emmy Rossum
Current Status
In Season
We gave it a B+

Over its eight seasons, Shameless — aside from William H. Macy and Joan Cusack — has been largely ignored by awards voters. Most of the outrage in the early years was in regards to the annual outrageous tradition of snubbing Emmy Rossum. And while she’s still the anchor and helps carry the series, Jeremy Allen White has slowly become an absolute force and is more than deserving of being the next great Shameless actor the Emmys and Golden Globes completely ignore.

“Church of Gay Jesus” begins like many recent Shameless outings have: with a busy morning at the Gallagher house. Ian’s mapping out “gay-hating” churches in the area; Kassidi is making breakfast; and Frank is planning his retirement. “Time to reflect on my accomplishments and bask in the spoils of a life well lived,” he says as he uses a retirement calculator. He’s confused about the results, so Lip explains to him that he needs $23,000 annually to retire and Frank is $22,000 short.

The newly engaged Carl comes downstairs, ecstatic to see what Kassidi is cooking up. “I’m going to cook every day, and dinner too, and then bl– jobs for dessert,” she tells him. “I’m going to be the best f—ing wife.” And the best sister/daughter-in-law, considering she bought everyone engagement gifts. Everyone is given cool, actual, paid-for gifts, while Carl gets a vial of Kassidi’s blood. Hopefully she got a gift receipt.

Absent from the eventful breakfast is Fiona, who’s painting her new apartment. Nessa stops by to reveal that she had a miscarriage, but she seems to be handling it well, even if she hasn’t told Mel yet. The conversation then shifts to Ford when he texts Fiona an invite to go furniture shopping. “I’ve never waited this long for someone to bang me,” she quips to Nessa. This doesn’t stop her from meeting up with him, and it ends up being worthwhile. No banging, but he does get her a big discount on a very expensive chair.

While Fiona pays for her own furniture, Svetlana is trying to find someone to buy her a chair and much, much more. Kev and V have stepped up their attempts to help their former throuple member land a sugar daddy (the richer, older, and sicker, the better). The plan doesn’t get off to the best start when an old (check) rich (check) guy named Gerald arrives for a date. Slight problem: He’s not offering her a chance to be his wife. Instead, he counters with an offer of $40 for a 30-minute hook-up in his car (no shoes allowed). She responds by punching him right in the face, like Frank with the little girl.

Clearly, Svetlana needs some guidance, so Kev gives her an earpiece to allow him to talk her through future encounters. “This is spy s—,” he argues, as James Bond-type music plays. “It’s in your DNA.” All of their practice goes out the window when Svetlana ignores the lessons and sheds the mic to try her own strategy, which really is just to grab the next old man’s junk.

When Fiona and Ford arrive back at her building, they discover the family of Rodney (the man who was injured working on her roof) camping out there. She realizes they’re homeless and offers to speak to Trevor about finding them some housing. Trevor comes through, but it’s going to take two days, so of course, our bleeding heart, Fiona, says they can stay in her place until then.

Quick recap of Lip’s recent troubles: His ex got back with her ex; his mentor went to jail; his sponsor fell off the wagon. Well, the universe continues to kick Lip when he’s down, as he goes to visit Youens in prison, only to be told that his professor died. Lip’s left speechless and in shock. He heads for Youens’ house, where he’s surprised to find the man’s previously absent daughter, Tabitha. She reveals that he had a seizure due to alcohol withdrawal and hit his head. There’s going to be a memorial service tomorrow. “Well, I’m so glad you were well parented by my dad,” she says as Lip explains his connection to her father.

Elsewhere, Ian has officially become a superstar. The video of him saving that hateful priest has gone viral, and as a result, followers are lining up to greet him when he arrives for work. “I guess they just want to be seen by someone who sees them back,” he tells his coworker. He does just that when he preaches in front of a large group at the Gallagher house. “He’s like a prophet, and he’s super hot too, like Hot Gay Jesus,” opines Kassidi. This gives Frank an idea on how to make money off of his son’s new popularity. A freshly arrived Fiona is curious about what’s going on. “Just a queer religious rebellion led by your brother,” explains Frank. “No biggie.” She’s just proud of Ian for being “the first Gallagher to become famous for something other than larceny or assault.” (Recap continues on page 2)

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