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Debbie isn't the only one expecting a little Gallagher

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January 18, 2016 at 12:15 PM EST

Kevin, V, and Svetlana (and Yanis)

The Alibi was voted the “Best S—tiest Bar on the South Side,” which explains the hipster infestation. Svetlana, savvy businesswoman that she is, has a new service available for the hipsters every time we see her. Karaoke, espresso, and $30 shaves are now all available at the Alibi, with the “skankiest and meanest Russian bartender” on the South Side ready to insult you for your pleasure.

The hipster jokes are about to get real old, real soon, but I can’t help but be delighted every time Svetlana tells a man he’s a worthless idiot as they hand over their cash. It just warms my heart.

Kevin and V’s neighbor, Yanis, continues to make an unbearable amount of noise in the neighborhood. His dogs get taken away by animal control after the Lisas complain about the barking, and Kevin acts as peacemaker once more, promising to help Yanis get his dog back, reminding the Lisas: “Just remember … we were doing just fine in this neighborhood before you two moved in.” Were they, though? Having been rooting for these people for six years, you might find yourself automatically siding against the Lisas, but ending incessant dog-barking and motorcycle-revving is not exactly tyrannical, though it’s understandable that people in the neighborhood are made uncomfortable when the very civil servants they spend their days trying to avoid are suddenly knocking on their doors. That said, Shameless has an opportunity, here, to shine a light on the negative effects of gentrification, on what happens when upper-middle DINKs move into fixer-uppers and the prices of food and shelter skyrocket beyond what the people who used to live there can afford. But, I dunno, let the viciously homophobic Yanis keep his rabid dogs, I guess? Is that the lesson?

Anyway, Kevin — and V, and the twins — wake to Yanis’ motorcycle in the middle of the night, and he heads outside to cut the bike’s throttle cable. Except he didn’t, as they all learned in the morning when they heard the revving again: Kevin had cut the brake cable, leading Yanis to get hit by a car. Will this fall on the Lisas, who so clearly had it out for Yanis? Or is V — so unwilling to parent her children in the first place — about to become a single mother?


Frank tries to get over Bianca by burning her stuff at the hospital, where Bianca’s friend and co-worker tell him that the only reason she was with Frank was because she was about to die. Duh! Duh. This leads Frank to his Next Big Scheme: latching onto stage fours and draining them of money and life until they die from their cancer. When he introduces his first victim to smoking crack, she dies immediately. Great! Perfect. Just another day in the life of Frank Gallagher.

Stray thoughts, plots, and nitpicks:

  • William H. Macy deserves so much more than this.
  • At the top of the episode, Fiona was stressed about Debbie — and the prospect of raising yet another child — and Sean sought to calm her down via the most uncomfortable-to-watch orgasm ever. “You gotta shut up for a few minutes,” he told her. “You need the stress reliever, and I only have three minutes before my meeting.” What kinda seduction technique? And what kinda sex drive does Fiona have that that worked? Later, the roles were reversed, as the camera lingered on Sean’s track marks. I love to be sad — thanks, Shameless.
  • Fiona doesn’t understand how hashtags work. The episode’s title is derived from the text messages she’d send Debbie throughout the day, reminding her that most teen moms never graduate high school and other fun facts, adding, “#AbortionRules.” Whatever, I don’t think Fiona has time for Twitter.
  • The season premiere gave me some hope about the direction of this season, but now I’m not so sure. But I’ll be here until the bitter end, regardless, as I naïvely hope for good things to happen to this family. 
  • Finally, when can Mickey come back?
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