This is it, friends. The third and (hopefully) final killer is revealed, but they don’t let their unmasking come without a deadly price. In true Scream Queens fashion, it seems only two of the remaining survivors actually care about stopping more killings, while everyone else is hung up on who’s sleeping with whom. They’re all in for a rude awakening, though, because sometimes the person you think you know isn’t completely showing who they are. Let’s get started!
Are we all ready for a blast from the past? Welcome back to the fold, Wes Gardner. That’s right, Grace’s father — and baby daddy to the Red Devil siblings — has returned to take his rightful place as Munsch’s main squeeze. Well, he also happens to have a hairball the size of a large tumor stuck in his tummy, but thanks to Cascade and Holt, that little hairy alien is taken out rather quickly. With his renewed sense of self, Wes begs to take Munsch to dinner, with dessert to come later in the sheets. Apparently, after the events of the first season, Munsch and Wes tried to be a real couple, living off the grid in the woods so Wes could brew his own beer and Munsch could drink it. The former dean quickly realized what a loser Wes was and moved on with her life. Things seem to be looking up for Wes, though, as Munsch sees this old flame as a chance to start fresh…again.
Dealing with her own man troubles and getting very meta, Zayday pulls a Keke Palmer and shows off her Snapchat and Instagram trademark — “and the gag is!” Sure, it’s fun and all, but Zayday seems to be doing it more to avoid Chamberlain, her former partner-in-crime-solving turned possible love interest. The boy sends her text after text, day after day, hoping she’ll reciprocate his feelings. Unfortunately, at this point Zayday doesn’t want anything serious with anyone, especially not with someone who’s one phone call away from stalker status. Granted, Zayday knows Chamberlain is a sweet guy, just a little overly confident at times, so she agrees to keep sleuthing with him.
Sadly for Holt, his previously exciting love situation is losing its luster. The doctor feels the age gap between he and Chanel after a rousing discussion on the greatest TV show of all time. Holt, of course, gives the correct historical answer of M*A*S*H*, while Chanel shows her 24-year old brain by picking Boy Meets World. While both shows are good in their own right, Holt realizes Chanel does not and probably never will take his babbling seriously. The even worse part? Their bedroom chemistry is completely dead. Chanel feels her level of hotness warrants her relaxation during spank time, so she can listen to Spotify or take selfies while Holt gets down to business. Of course, Holt wants to feel attractive, too, and having someone yawn during intercourse is a surefire way to make them feel subpar. For now, it seems the couple doesn’t have any cure — but give Chanel some time and she’ll find something creative to spice things up.
Onto the actual murders in the show, Zayday and Chamberlain take sleuthing to a whole new level, deciding to plan an ingenious trap for the Green Meanie. They both know that special costume had to be created by a master seamstress, and while the killer could’ve made it themselves, they believe it was more than likely made by a professional. Setting up a typical horror-movie scene, Zayday strips down to take a therapy bath, seemingly without a care in the world. As the Green Meanie enters to take a new victim, she turns the tables on them, shooting the killer with a taser gun. This merely knocks the masked figure back, but Chamberlain runs in to finish the job. Of course, the Green Meanie is no wimp and takes down Chamberlain to escape — but before they can, Zayday gets a good swipe in and rips off a piece of the costume. Snaps Zayday, you did the thang!
NEXT: The third killer is revealed!
With the gag in hand, Zayday hits up every costume store in town hoping one will remember making the bright green ensemble. Well, the last spot Zayday enters — run by a creepy man who talks far too much about “handies” for payment — does indeed recall making the proposed costumes. He made three, two of which were requested by the same person. “It was an older woman with nice hands,” describes the man. Zayday immediately knows this person would have to be Jane, Cascade’s mom, but as for bachelor no. 2, she has no idea.
Before we get to the epic ending, let’s check back in with Chanel and her plan to win over Holt. Hester, when she’s not moonlighting as a serial killer, knows how to throw a marvelous themed party. The idea she proposes is a “greatest generation” party for Holt, complete with radios, American flags, #5 dressed like Shirley Temple, and even a plate of liver and onions. Granted, the idea is sweet, but as Holt points out during the surprise party: “You know I would have to be 80 to be a part of that generation, right?” Deeply offended, Holt leaves, giving Chanel some much-needed time to mull over her history and figure out when M*A*S*H* was actually made.
Meanwhile, in the important part of the story, Zayday heads to Jane’s house, knowing she was one of the two people to get a Green Meanie costume made. Going it alone, Zayday enters the house to hear Jane spout all the suspicions Zayday’s had since the beginning. Jane did request the two costumes, asking her brother to kill anyone who tried to get that hospital back up and running. When Zayday attempts to point out how ridiculous this all is, Jane reminds her there’s no reasoning with a psychopath. Touché. With that, Zayday is drugged and dragged into a deep pit, echoing the compromising position she found herself in last season.
It looks like the other killer is on overtime, as a Green Meanie attacks Munsch and Wes during naughty time. Thankfully, Wes acts quickly, spraying the killer in the eyes with body spray and sending the Meanie crashing through the window. Of course, the killer runs off before they can be identified. At the hospital, Chamberlain realizes that heap of a hairball Wes coughed up was full of additional items, including a sliver of the green material used in the costume! This means Wes is hiding more than an addiction to eating hair. Heading over to Wes’ house, Chamberlain confronts the man about why he would have any connection to the costume. Well, Chamberlain, good sleuthing, but you should’ve brought backup.
Wes reveals he was the other person to order a costume! Dun dun duuuun! On top of it, he’s been killing patients and more Chanels in the hospital. Apparently, he’s always felt the Chanel gang ruined his daughter’s life, and this was his only means of revenge. Sadly, with this confession, Wes can’t leave Chamberlain alive, so he stabs him repeatedly, leaving Zayday as the only person to know the truth of the killers. Of course, with her locked up in a dungeon and no one else seeming to care about finding the killers, Wes, Hawful, and Cascade are free to roam the hospital hallways and kill whomever they want. Death and destruction, here we come.