One more sorority sister's light got snuffed out.
All is not well at KKT: Jennifer has been duped out of her 22-for-the-price-of-20 candle deal at Candle Junction! How rude. Oh, and after Zayday overhears her telling Denise Hemphill a potentially incriminating story (basically about how Zayday wanted to get “real revenge” on entitled white girls), Jennifer is stabbed mid-vlog by one of the Red Devils. Raise your wicks, you guys. (“Eternal Flame” may have been the most spot-on soundtracking of this season.) To make matters worse, Denise has come up empty with evidence in the case against Zayday. She claims it’s mostly due to the fact that her investigation is “lacking in the financial resources department.” Chanel agrees to 10 percent (i.e. $300,000) upfront. That should be enough for Denise to at least buy an Arby’s franchise, right?
With another death at KKT, Dean Munsch finally (a few dead co-eds late, if you ask me) suspends campus operations. To Chanel, this spells ruin, so she calls in more backup: detectives from Scotland Yard. She’s not going to let a few jurisdictional issues come between her and her position as co-president. Oh, and the truth, too.
Grace is also in search of the truth and confronts Gigi with the evidence she’s gathered against her. Gigi, of course, denies it and takes great pains to flaunt her new (paltry) engagement ring. Yep, she and Wes are “engaged.” (We come to learn later on that Gigi took it upon herself to buy that ring, and Wes never dissuaded her of the idea that they were engaged in order to protect the “mind-blowing sex” they would have.)
And, as it turns out, those detectives end up being well worth the airfare it took to fly them across the pond: They uncover the truth about Grace’s mom. She’s the “Waterfalls” girl from the 1995 flashback, and she racked up quite the rap sheet (shoplifting, drunk driving, meth possession) before she died in a drunk-driving accident. Chanel relishes delivering this news to Grace. Grace slaps her. And as if the hand to the face weren’t enough, Denise has taken over as house mom (in complete head-to-toe Chanel wear, including No. 6’s thong, which feels like “angels are flossing my butt crack”), and she insists that Chanel apologize — or else Denise will make Chad her No. 1 boo.
Later, at the coffee shop, Chanel does what she’s told and reveals her own mama drama to Grace: “Happy Oberlin is a monster,” she says, recounting how she wasn’t allowed to go to her high school graduation because she had a pimple that would besmirch the family name. She suggests to Grace that maybe they entered each other’s lives to help with their mom issues. Maybe. Just maybe.
The episode concludes with the return of a familiar face. And, no, I’m not talking about Joaquin Phoenix. Or Walking Phoenix, for that matter. No, it’s Boone! Who’s grown a beard and every day is muscling. While pumping iron at the gym — incognito, of course — he makes his diabolical plan clear to a mystery voice on the other end of the line: They must take out Gigi as she’s ruining their brand. Because in 2015, nothing is more important than your brand.
Prime Suspects: At the risk of sounding very, very unoriginal, my most-wanted list from last week stands. Gigi was clearly Scalia (unless that was a bit of super-clever subterfuge), while Boone was obviously one of the Red Devils. I feel like we can say those things with a fair amount of certainty. And without a new candidate for the second Red Devil, I’m sticking with my previous theory that it’s Zayday. Despite a few nods at Wes potentially being in on the scheme, I just don’t think he has it in him. The guy loves the male power ballads of 1995, for goodness’ sake!