Erik Voake/CBS
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May 15, 2017 at 11:20 PM EDT

Scorpion

type
TV Show
Current Status
In Season
seasons
2
run date
09/22/14
performer
Elyes Gabel, Katharine McPhee, Eddie Kaye Thomas
broadcaster
CBS
genre
Action, Drama
We gave it a B

Oh Sly. Poor Sly, the devastating author of the journal entries on stranded Team Scorpion‘s final days. Okay, so it’s not their final days, but Sylvester is tasked with telling us the story about CBS’ favorite genius ragtag clan stuck on a deserted island. In one of its funniest episodes yet, Scorpion dives into what it means to have two couples on the team looking to make their love a little more, well, confirmed. And, of course, what happens when they don’t get to do that.

The team works on staying civilized, but ultimately, they turn to their animalistic ways in a way that even we aren’t used to seeing. Did y’all see that Happy-on-Toby action? Lord be. Even Paige is handing out kisses to newly minted boyfriend Walter. You know what they say… nature can bring out the, um, animal in you. But as the team spends more time on the island, they start to fall apart.

Understanding they have to make their way off the island before monsoon season, Walter and Toby come up with different plans to escape. It gets even more awkward when Paige and Cabe head off with Toby while Happy leaves with Walter. It’s the perfect split in our team to showcase their smarts and absurdity on finale night. (Also, aside: When did Ralph literally become a tiny man? He’s grown so much this season.)

Walter’s magnet plan depends on the chemistry of the island, while Toby’s escape plan relies on a raft. When Toby and Paige go walking on the beach to formulate a plan of their own, they come across a series of oil drums that can keep their raft afloat. But when both teams head to Sly to nab his radio, Sylvester shuts them down. That’s what we can rely on Sly for these days… the voice of reason in the midst of this love fest. He’s hid the radio because in true Scorpion fashion, survival and science don’t matter as much as friendship.

Inside Sylvester’s bunker, he points out that Walter isn’t able to execute his plan without Paige. The show could never go on without Karen Cartwright, you know? But Toby isn’t able to complete his plan without Happy’s help either. Ultimately, by working separately, neither plan is bound to work. But when they threaten Sly and hold his pet lizard hostage as food (!!), Sly succumbs. Again, poor Sly. I just want him to be a hero. While they’re all fighting though, they realize the copper wire Walter needs is gone. Ralph stole it to execute Walter’s plan, but the way he tries to execute it is crazy dangerous. And when the explosion happens, Ralph and Pilot Scotty are encased in a pit of sand.

Even when physics says that sand should have crushed poor Ralph like a bug, they’re able to pull both Ralph and Scotty out for Ralph to tell everyone that they were all fighting like children. No one but Ralph could appear after physical and emotional trauma to set everyone straight. And in doing that crazy experiment, Ralph caused a magnetic disturbance that signals a plane to fly near the island. It’s Ralph’s near-tragedy that brings the group together, and they work to make a distraction large enough to get the plane’s attention.

With a lack of time and resources, they’re only able to get one S of their S-O-S lit up as the plane flies overhead, and it seems like all hope is lost. But as Toby notes, “S” stands for Scorpion, and you can’t give up that easily. Paige gives a speech to keep spirits up, and it lasts just long enough for that plane to make its rounds again and come to save the team. Our team is safe again. Happy and Toby are back on land, able to consummate their strange, strange Quintis marriage. Waige is back as well, able to do whatever Paige means when she stands in front of Walter, wearing only a white shirt, saying, “Buckle up, nerd.” As for Cabe, Ralph, and Sly, they’ll be tasked with keeping these lovebirds somewhat sane through season 4.

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