Back at the White House, Curtis shows up to ask Olivia on a date, and she’s definitely not having it. She doesn’t have the time, because Jake — who’s been urging Olivia to send someone in and do the work from within because time is running out — has shown up to the Oval to make his case on how to kill that missing spy. When Olivia argues against him, Mellie shuts her down and Olivia is SHOOK.
With nothing left to lose, Olivia has Huck take aim at the ambassador’s son, who is MAYBE 5 years old. Huck has his sights on essentially a baby. She starts counting down from five. Olivia gets to two, and the ambassador calls it off and finally makes the call to free that CIA agent because Olivia is apparently in the business of KILLING BABIES THESE DAYS.
Olivia goes to the situation room and has Mellie call off the mission because government, man, it’s nuts. Speaking of nutty, Cyrus heads off to see that senator who promised him the world, but Cyrus argues that they have to stick this out. They have to get the votes for free college because these kids deserve free college. It’s so important that we get a Cyrus Scandal speech!
It’s a pretty happy episode, y’all! Captured spies come home alive. Cyrus stays with Mellie. The White House secures enough votes for free college, and hey! The Rangerettes have someone to look up to! But Olivia, jaded by the ways of this ugly world, takes Jake aside and explains that her days in his bed are over because they work well together — they do — but not when he’s in her bed. And she needs a clear head because that senator who was trying to make Cyrus turn on Mellie was actually working for Olivia. Liv has some plans. As far as Mellie is concerned, Liv had better be ready to run every single one of those plans by her because she is the president. But Olivia isn’t concerned with Mellie; Olivia has some rules, and *clears throat* Mellie best be listening:
- You do not ignore me.
- I am right always.
- There is only us.
And those rules are in place because Olivia is here for the women. Do not listen to some man before Olivia, because Olivia is a BOSS. Not a boss — THE boss. Pay attention to her and Mellie becomes a monument. Ignore her and she becomes an asterisk. Oh, Mellie, make a good choice.
After that, Olivia goes on that date with Curtis only to explain the protocol for the night, which will end in a hotel room, period. Because, GOD, if you haven’t picked it up yet: Olivia makes the rules, because Olivia. Is. The. Boss.
And that’s that. Stand in the sun with me every Thursday. Hold my hand and let’s talk on Twitter. Tell me how you feel about the first female president and how many glasses of wine you drank tonight (I had three, it’s fine, nay HANDLED). And when you let that popcorn settle, I’ll see you back until we finish this season. Off a cliff, right?