RuPaul's Drag Race recap: 'Good Morning Bitches'
Oh chile! Another spicy episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race to digest. And it’s that time in Season 9 when it’s getting a teensy bit hot in the kitchen and tempers are starting to flare. Basically, the gloves are coming off and the claws are coming out. Isn’t it delicious?
On the (high) heels of last week’s elimination of Kimora Blac — which, in my humble opinion was well deserved — the remaining queens (or at least the smart ones) are realizing that every challenge can make or break, and you’ve really got to dig in and do your very best.
I think Aja is really starting to feel the pressure and realized that she could’ve been eliminated. Like Kimora, she needs to stop criticizing the other queens and complaining about bad judging, and start focusing on how she can improve. She’s obviously got the talent or she wouldn’t be on Season 9 of Rupaul’s Drag Race, BUT she has got to give everything a lot more polish.
Sometimes the best advice comes out of the mouths of babes. This time, it was from young, innocent, sweet little Valentina, who gave gave Aja some great advice when she told her to stop focusing on the other gals and focus on herself.
When it came time for Aja and Trinity to pick teams, I experienced that uneasy feeling I always got in gym class when it was time to select dodgeball teams. Nina, I was always picked last, as well — even after the girl with the broken arm — so don’t feel bad, gurl. Look at me now!
I think the crucial mistake that both team captains made is that they selected girls they thought would work hard and perform well. That makes sense right? But darlings, just listen closely to the sage advice from Mama Ru. The challenge was to produce a morning talk show, which Ru clearly said was all about chemistry. So pick your best girlfriends, honey — not your frenemies! Sheesh!
I grabbed the popcorn and a jug of margaritas as soon as I saw Trinity pick Eureka and Aja pick Valentina. Sparks flew immediately between Trinity and Eureka. I think it’s safe to say they hate each other as much as I hate palazzo pants (they really piss me off)! I have to say, Eureka was being a little bit of a baby about Trinity’s leadership skills for this task. When you’re in charge, you’re in charge! Trinity could call the shots, but she would have to take responsibility if things went south. All’s fair in love and drag, kids. But thanks to Eureka for reminding us that southern belles don’t punch each other in the face. I had almost forgotten that old chestnut. Bless her heart!
Over on team Good Morning Bitches, I cringed as Charlie Hides was schooling Cynthia Lee Fontaine in their segment. If you’ve seen Cynthia on past seasons or got to know her this season, you know that she is naturally funny — even when she’s not trying to be. That’s her star quality. Let her be as “Intolerant lactose” as she wants. We will love it, I assure you. And furthermore, I just can’t get past Charlie’s weird accent that comes and goes. It’s like the time Madonna thought she was British. What’s up with that?
I connected with Charlie in what I thought was a very real moment she shared about losing friends to the AIDS epidemic. It was like the third time I cried this season. It was so heartfelt and genuine, and once again, Sasha Velour (our season 9 valedictorian) summed it up so beautifully by reminding us of all the creative talents silenced by the epidemic. This show isn’t just about lashes and lipstick, people.
My favorite segment out of the two morning shows was far and away Eureka and Nina Bo’nina Brown. It was easy, natural and funny because they were just themselves, which is exactly why we love them — the other queens should take note. This is, in my opinion, the key to doing well in the competition. Always do you. (Which happens to be good advice for life in general. You’re welcome!) Wham bam thank you HAM!
Now over to the runway. Wow, those looks were on fast forward — I could barely get a good look! I do have to say that in a split second, I could see that Peppermint’s look was cheap looking, not creative and poorly executed. It was not a good “nighty” for her. Charlie Hides just looked stiff (someone make that gal a Bo’nima smoothie!) and, honestly, I think she was still reeling from her poor performance in the talk show challenge. While Trinity’s look was not overly inventive, the execution was flawless. And dat ass tho! Cynthia Lee Fontaine gets a pass from me. I didn’t love her runway look, but her kookiness gets me every time in a way that reminds me of how I feel about my beloved Alyssa Edwards and her secret. Nina looked insane and I loved it, and to top it all off, the Trinity vs. Eureka steel cage match was ON!
Oh, and on a side note, can we dish about the delish Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman? I’m gonna have to start watching me some UnReal on Lifetime. He is FOINE! He can hyphenate my last name any day!
When it came down to the final test, Trinity was in tiger queen-mode. That performance was the definition of slaying it and ranks among the best lip synch performances I’ve ever seen. She was more Britney than Britney! Plus, there was some amazing hair-ography as a bonus.
Meanwhile, Charlie Hides just stood there. He gave up before he even started, so I screamed at the TV, “Charlie, bite your finger.”