RuPaul's Drag Race recap: Draggily Ever After

I wasn’t on set to see Valentina win her challenge last week, but I can assure you I was cheering for her from the bed of my mansion in Bel Air (oh wait, that was Joan Crawford during the ’38 oscars!). But nonetheless, I was thrilled for her big win. I’ve become a fan of Valentina and I think I speak for all the judges when I say we look forward to what she is going to bring each week. And she’s just so darn likable! While I was elated for Valentina, I did in fact shed some unicorn tears for Jaymes Mansfield. She just wasn’t up to the challenge. But I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of her in the not so distant future.

Now let’s dish about this week’s episode, kids!

While I haven’t been a fan of Kimora Blac in the past, I wanted to give you all an update: I still hate her. And I secretly wish she was the one who sashayed away last week instead of Jaymes. Not because Jaymes deserved to stay, but because I’m so tired of Kimora’s bad attitude. But on the flip side we have the Latina Mary Poppins, Valentina. I just adore her more and more every week. I loved her sensible turban and statement eyewear as she worked away on her princess and sidekick looks. Every time I see her on the screen or live in the showroom, my inner voice says, “More, more, more!” Or maybe I’m just gassy?

On that note, let’s talk about the queens out of drag. I think Alexis Michelle is still totes adorbs. And I have to mention how much I like Eureka’s Big Boy-inspired hair do. And isn’t Valentina just as cute as can be? Thank you. That needed to be said.

Apparently Kimora missed the School House Rock episode on grammar. Google it, kids. She didn’t know what an adjective was (see: “uneducated” and “annoying”). That, plus Cynthia Lee Fontaine’s demystifying legend of the cuckoo proves that Rupaul’s Drag Race is fun and educational!

On a more serious note, and one of the reasons why I love this show and am so proud to be associated with it, was its sensitive and important handling of the Pulse Tragedy in Orlando. As always, Sasha Velour said it wisely: “What happened in Orlando at Pulse nightclub was a defining and shocking moment for gay people, and the fact that it was an act of violence against LGBT people of color is not insignificant here.” When Trinity and Cynthia Lee Fontaine bravely spoke about loved ones lost, they shared how drag can help us cope with some of the toughest moments life can offer. Ladies, thank you very much for reminding us of that.

Now, to the judging. I love working on this show because I get to spend the day sitting next to some pretty rad guest judges. From Olivia Newton John to Lady Gaga to this week’s dreamboat Cheyenne Jackson. So hot. So nice. So talented. And, darn it, so married! But I digress… I was so happy to see Peppermint nail her princess and sidekick looks. When she talked about the inspiration behind her look, it was a real “when life hands you lemons, add Vodka” moment. I loved it.

Cue the violins for Kimora’s response to the judge’s critique: “For so long, I’ve been hiding behind a breast plate and padding,” she said in self defense. I get it. It’s hard being pretty. Next. Trinity was thirsty for a win this week, and she quenched our thirst with comedy and glamour. I thought her experience and professionalism paid off with a well-deserved win. I love that her prize was a mattress! Even the sponsors of the show are genius. Thanks for the support, Casper!

And, honestly, I think Valentina was nipping at her bedazzled sea princess heels and could have snatched the win as well if her comedy has been up to par with Trinity’s salty starfish.

Aja came as a princess of disaster. And she was a DISASTER. Again, the makeup was horrendo and her hot miser-in-chaps look was just a hot mess. The time has come for her to start taking the judge’s advice or she’ll back in Bed Stuy real soon! Or simply put, get off of FaceTime and dart over to the Clinique counter and get some make up lessons. Sheesh. It was a close call between Farrah and Aja when it came down to the final elimination. I think Mama Ru was tired of Kimora’s high self esteem problem and made the right call in keeping the somewhat whiney, but still lovable, Farrah.

Until next week, may the fierce be with you.