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S8 E1
March 08, 2016 at 04:09 AM EST

Time to “Sissy that Walk!” Nicole Richie was on hand to guest-judge on the Runway, which was fabulous, although I was hoping for a tad more snark.

Some stray observations about the “safe” looks tonight: Bob looked very Scarlett in her “Gone With the Window” outfit, and she even led with her hideous purse; Dax looked lovely in Hello Kitty, which was a perfect challenge for her; Cynthia Lee Fontaine was covered in sugar and what looked like Sweet Tarts — sweet and tart, just like her cucu; Chi Chi’s disco ball look wasn’t that bad, considering she had ripped it right before the runway, and I didn’t see what was so awful about Naomi’s boat look — but maybe her body and crazy legs made up for what it was lacking.

First up, the top looks: Derrick brought a little comedy to her Christmas look by trimming her Christmas tree bush. Ru and the other judges are already warning her about sticking just to Britney, though. Acid Betty really made a statement with her freaky drag, and I loved watching her make it rain with all those fake Ru dollars. But the win went to Kim Chi for her Givenchy-inspired wig-lion dress, which was unbelievable — even though she walked like a drunk linebacker. Let’s hope she was doing that on purpose for some ill-conceived effect.

Now for the bottom: Robbie landed in the losing group for her puffball dress, but Naysha did worse with her terrible gold piece around the middle and Laila for her half-assed apocalyptic look. The lip sync to “Applause” by Lady Gaga was pretty low-energy from the jump; Laila bit her lip a few times and immediately crouched onto the ground, and Naysha did a lame dance move as if she were miming using a clapper on a movie set. It was sort of a tossup for me as to who’d be going home, but in the end, Naysha was sashaying away.

So what do you think about the new crop of queens? I have to admit, I’m living. Here’s my first Fierce List in which I analyze the power rankings of the remaining queens.

FIERCE LIST:

Bob the Drag Queen: In her own words, she’s f—ing funny. Her charisma and uniqueness will make up for any lack of sewing skills. Sidenote: there are a lot of septum piercings this season.

Kim Chi: Like any jar of actual kimchi, you never know what you’re gonna get. Kim Chi’s makeup skills are probably impossible to beat this season. She just needs to make sure to really come out of her shell for the performance challenges.

Acid Betty: She terrifies me, but she’d have it no other way.

Derrick Barry: Yes, she needs to move beyond the Britney shtick, but I think she can do it.

Naomi Smalls: We still need to know more, but I have a good feeling about this one. Those legs tho.

Dax Exclamation Point: I like the whole sci-fi nerd vibe. Again, we need to know more.

Cynthia Lee Fontaine: Do I need to make a separate entry for her cucu? Not sure about her, but queens that no one can understand have a pretty good track record on this show.

Robbie Turner: She’s made a bad impression on me so far, but she’s smart. That might carry her through for a while.

Chi Chi Devayne: Not destined for RDPR longevity, but maybe she’ll surprise us all.

Thorgy Thor: I’m trying to keep an open mind, but… just no. I can’t.

Laila: Needs to pick up the energy and tap into her artistic nature, stat. 

( 3 of 3 )

RuPaul—as host, mentor, and creative inspiration—decides who’s in and who’s out.
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