Well kids, things are really starting to heat up, and this is the point in the competition where true personalities are really RuVealed. I was so sad to see Cynthia and her celebrated cucu pack up and leave the show. But Trinity is thirsty to win the whole she-bang and stepped right up, announcing that there’s a new cucu in town. And I have to say, her cucu is pretty fine. I like Trinity a lot — she’s a tough biotch but she’s talented, works hard, and she’s in it to win it.
Weren’t you a little surprised to hear Valentina get snarky over Alexis’ win? I sure was! Could it be that Little Mary Sunshine has a dark side? Or is it just the pressure of the competition that’s getting to her? I wanted to give her a little shake and say, “Girl, let her have her moment!” Karma did her right when she almost got her nipples ripped off while removing her Madonna “erotica” costume. After that moment, all was right with the world and I was back in love with Valentina.
The tragic flaw of the evening came when Aja, in a very pouty and annoying moment, didn’t want to take her assigned role of Grandrea Zuckerman in the 90210-HO she-boot. Calm down, Aja! Your hissy fit just cost you one of the largest and juiciest roles in the production — Shea Couleé graciously took the role instead. Smart move, Shea. Karma is at work again and will prove to reward Shea greatly. See — nice girls can finish first!
In the very first scene at Beverly Johnson High, Grandrea and Shea steal the show right off the bat. That’s what they call ‘chewing the scenery,’ kids. Google it.
And the Oscar for best supporting Mom in a 90s TV remake goes to…Trinity Taylor! She is serving us some serious Amy Poehler in Mean Girls realness!
Meanwhile, Aja looks stressed and is not selling it in rehearsal. While she improved in the final edit, she’s still not very good. Other Razzie nominations go to Nina Bo’nina Brown and, surprisingly, the beautiful brainiac Sasha Velour.
Listen, not all queens are good at acting challenges. Trust me, it’s really hard to remember all of your lines, get your timing right, embody your character and look the part in a very condensed time frame. But acting challenges are a big part of the competition, and this is the time when we need to separate the men from the boys, so to speak. Terrible analogy, but you get what I mean.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this cast has so much heart and depth. Hearing Trinity’s story of missing out on all those high school moments to take care of her ill grandmother tugged at my heartstrings. Shea’s tale of having a difficult relationship with her father was very relatable for many of us. And Sasha Velour, my goodness, you have such a smart and beautiful way in which you dealt with the tragic loss of your mother. What a stellar group of people. But why do they gotta make everyone cry when they are applying eye makeup? It’s a cruel, cruel world!
Whew — let’s move over to the runway!
I have to say that our little Farrah is growing up right before our eyes. I happened to love her last two runway looks. Her big hair homage to Dolly and Ru was, as I said in the show, a folicular tour de force! I loved Aja for possibly the first time ever, and Shea delivered a winning look, as well — due mostly to her stellar character creation.
And indulge me again while I lip synch the praises of Miss Trinity Taylor. She was the definition of upstaging when the guys swung her around with her legs spread in the background of the prom scene. That sealed the deal for me and the rest of the panel, bringing her right to the head of the class. Farrah was surprisingly good and Nina was surprisingly not good. Her shade and lack of taking direction from Tori Spelling and Jenny Garth did not help.
That being said, I think it all came down to Karma placing Nina and Aja in jeopardy. Karma. She’s a biotch, kids.