Bridget, who is not pregnant, meets Siobhan's Paris boy toy face-to-face
The Ringer
Credit: Scott Alan Humbert/The CW

Hi, Ringer watchers. Your regular recapper Tim’s DVR malfunctioned for a few hours last night, so he didn’t get to watch the east coast telecast. I’m filling in for now at the last minute so that we have a post up. If my summary is filled with holes, I apologize — but this is just temporary, and please go ahead and discuss “Maybe We Can Get a Dog Instead” in the comments below.

Last week, Bridget had fainted upon seeing her former NA sponsor Malcolm show up a freed man on the NYC streets. This week, the show opened on her getting an ultrasound (agh!) with Andrew looking on, concerned about “their” baby. But it wasn’t his baby, nor was it Malcolm’s. There was no beanie baby at all. The technician pronounced an ectropic pregnancy and Bridget/New Siobhan told Andrew she’d been spotting but was afraid to tell him.

Andrew was upset after overhearing New Siobhan tell a rather sympathetic Juliet that she didn’t think she and J’s daddy would be trying for another baby. But by the end of the episode, after N.S. had shockingly shown up at Andrew’s business dinner in a show of support, N.S. had convinced Andrew she wants this marriage to work — “baby or no baby.” He actually seemed encouraged by this, despite his anger toward her earlier in the episode.

That dinner! Andrew had called up Tyler, Real Siobhan’s boy toy in Paris, and offered him a position as head of European operations. So Paris boy toy was sitting there, and suddenly Bridget showed up as “Mrs. Martin.” How did Tyler not freak out harder here? “I didn’t realize I was sleeping with the boss’ wife,” he muttered to Bridget. “Is that why you told me your name was Cora?” I would have had so many more questions. Like, wait a minute, were we on the same flight from Paris to New York?

Bridget/New Shiv just looked confused — about as confused as I was that across the table, Andrew had begrudgingly changed his dinner order from filet mignon to…orange roughy?!

NEXT: Bridget brings Malcolm to dangerous Chesire cat Charlie’s house Meanwhile, Juliet continued her inappropriate flirtation with her high school English teacher, Mr. Carpenter, by inviting herself to his place to watch a Burgess Meredith DVD. I’m shocked that didn’t work. Unwilling to build the foundation of a lasting relationship with a teenager, Mr. Carpenter wisely dropped Juliet from his class — but the lovelorn eye makeup devotee found a loophole. Looks like the Young Samaritans club has itself a new member.

New Shiv agreed to meet Malcolm at an outdoor cafe, but not before Agent Machado stopped her and made her wear a wire because he knew some things about her and Henry Butler that he thought she’d want to keep quiet. I’m a little fuzzy on the connections here, but thought it strange that Machado didn’t suspect any of the severe weirdness at the beginning of this meeting. Also, how did Bridget place that note for Malcolm — “Machado is listening and watching” — on the menu without any of that getting picked up by the video or wire? She’s so crafty.

New Siobhan and Malcolm’s conversation had to be pretty vague on the record, but then she caught up with him on the street as Bridget and he accused her of starting to like her new life — “the clothes, the money, the guy.” She refused to give him more cash, as he’d started using heroin again after being sober for five years. But she did open her door (well, Andrew’s door — the only one in the apartment; they clearly need some more) to Malcolm at the end of the episode.

Andrew was very kind here, agreeing to let Malcolm spend the night because he was a friend of Siobhan’s sister who had been “one of the good things in her life.” Bridget reassured Malcolm, “No matter where I am, or who you think I am, I’m always here for you.” But then Bridget brought Malcolm to the home of her current NA sponsor Charlie, who (as we learned in last week’s twist ending) was responsible for Gemma’s disappearance and has been in cahoots with Real Siobhan this whole time. “You did the right thing by coming here,” Charlie said, which can only mean one thing: Malcolm is in danger.

I’m not positive, but I assume that the moment when Bridget (fake-Siobhan) caught her own reflection in the picture frame mirror in Andrew’s apartment was a worthy, possibly even clever stand-in for a glimpse of the GINORMOUS SIOBHAN PORTRAIT that your recapper Tim really seems to love.

Did you like this week’s episode? Should Juliet, Andrew, and New Shiv actually go ahead and get a dog instead of having a baby? Would the dog get to sleep on a big heap of sequins and chunky jewels?


Episode Recaps

  • Movie