The Real Housewives Of New Jersey recap: The Family Business
Love ’em or hate ’em, you simply can’t choose your family. But you can choose your business partners. With restaurants, mortgage commercials, and garbage trucks, the Jersey housewives and their families seem to keep their work very close to home. Case in point: Joe Gorga chooses to work with wife Melissa—she may not know much about science (okay, may not know anything about science) but that doesn’t mean she can’t help pick the right color to paint her husband’s futuristic trash tank. And now that Amber feels as if she has been betrayed by the other women after the first responders party, she can retreat back into her cave to focus on what’s most important to her: family, or rather exposing her family (in a non-Bravo way) for her husband’s mortgage commercials. Jim redeems himself slightly from his behavior in the past with a sincere acknowledgement that his wife is a terrible actress. “That’s like asking is someone a good surgeon when they are not a surgeon.” Here’s a question for you Jim: Are you a good person? Still can’t seem to figure that one out just yet.
We’ve only known the twins for six episodes, but it’s clear they love to throw a good dinner party. (I guess when you own Italian restaurants, national television exposure isn’t such a bad thing either. This family dinner is a fun night with no drama (a.k.a. no Amber). The biggest highlight is Rosie introducing her girlfriend Ellen to the entire family—but sadly, Rosie told Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live! a couple of weeks ago that they are no longer together. One couple that definitely seems like they are gonna make it is besties Joe Gorga and Rino (“He’s me, but I’m better looking” the ever humble Joe says.) While her husband has a moment, Melissa tells Teresa and Nicole about the talk she had with Amber and that she doesn’t want to be “Melissa in the Middle” anymore (which is a great potential spin-off). Everyone slowly seems to agree that there is more than one side at fault and that it takes two (or sometimes three) to tango, so Nicole agrees to reach out to Amber to “put the baby to bed.”
As Nicole reaches out to broker peace, we get our first look into Nicole’s business life as a jet broker, in which she makes travel arrangements for CEOs who fly privately. And she is one of the most successful in the country… just saying. It was probably purely for logistics of filming, but calling Amber on speakerphone in an open work space was probably not the best idea anyone has ever had on the show, but obviously not the worst either (probably not even the worst in this episode). With a cigarette break waiting at the finish line, somehow the two agree to meet.
The Real Housewives franchise has seen some over-the-top kid birthday celebrations over the years and cities, including ones from our very own Mrs. Giudice. But forget the party limos and pizza parties, the Guidices welcome Gia into her teenage years as any parents should: personal interrogation. No young girl wants her dad asking how many boys she has kissed—but she especially doesn’t want that conversation with millions of people watching at home. After Milania finds Gia’s gift in the refrigerator (Teresa forgot where she had hid it), the birthday girl opens a beautiful diamond ring, which has a lot of sentimental value to Teresa and her family. (The fact that it’s an heirloom is the only reason it doesn’t seem so extravagant.) Oh, and just in case you were wondering, Gia has kissed one boy before, but she won’t say his name. If you are that boy and you happen to be reading this, start running now cause Joe Giudice is looking for you.
NEXT: “Don’t get knocked down in life or get anyone knocked up.”
Teresa and Rino are into the whole family business idea so much that instead of a college tuition, they are giving their son Giovanni a new restaurant (aptly named Figlio di Rino, Son of Rino—in case you forget who the boss is). It’s a big project starting from the ground up and Teresa’s father, Sal, comes along to ask a lot of questions about the building’s progress. Well, someone should. Later when they go out to dinner (or is it just a cake break?), Teresa and Rino present the idea to Giovanni with some outstanding advice: “Success leads to money, money leads to any freaking woman in the world that you want” and “Don’t get knocked down in life or get anyone knocked up.”
In her return to the series, Dina hasn’t had too much time in the spotlight yet. But she is finally stepping into her role as the zen mother of the group: She decides to make some vision boards with Teresa Giudice. According to Dina, putting inspirational images and quotes together helps you achieve what you want. It worked for Dina once before (after her divorce though—was that on the board?), so she wants Teresa to give it a try. After much debate—”my head is a vision board; I don’t need no cork!”—Teresa gives it a go. Her board basically reads that she is in desperate need of a clean slate.
In typical formatted fashion, the episode ended with the expected heated conversation between Amber and Nicole. Before they met however, the ladies cast each other in the roles that they expected them to play. Amber (or rather Jim) called Nicole a Shakespearean tragedy because of all of the trouble that surrounds her. Nicole called Amber Sybil—the infamous book and movie of the same name about the woman with multiple personality disorder—because she never knows who she’s going to get with Amber. With some evil in their eyes, the ladies got off to an expected bumpy start in the talk.
“Why would you try to slander my name so bad since you were supposed to be my friend?” This seems like a fair question for Nicole to ask.
“I’m glad you are having a conversation and expressing your feelings and not fighting about it.” And there’s that bitchy Amber we have all come to know and love/hate!
After a back and forth battle of she said/she said, the sun breaks through a dark cloud over Jersey and wait, it couldn’t possibly be, but… is that an actual apology? Thank the Garden State gods or whoever is responsible because this is a miracle: Amber finally took responsibility and fault for spreading the rumor that Nicole had an affair in the first place and Nicole apologized for her physical actions at the party. Before the sun can completely break out though, Amber has to get in one more dig on Nicole’s relationship about Bobby by calling him a gigolo going from one girl to the next. Now that his behavior has been brought up a couple of times, you have to question why there would be any questioning in the first place and Amber does actually seemed concerned that Bobby is playing Nicole “for a fool.” The two ladies certainly laugh like fools though as they end their coffee date on a positive note together, once again friends. For now at least.