Bernard Walsh/The CW
October 10, 2014 at 04:33 AM EDT


TV Show
run date
Adelaide Kane, Megan Follows
The CW
Current Status
In Season

Remember when the Black Death sounded like the most ominous thing in all of history and we were absolutely positive that it was going to kill multiple people we loved? Well, as it turns out, the plague has a lot in common with the type of man who’s not so much a fan of the long-term relationship and much more into a quick one-episode stand. But much like the woman who knew exactly what she was getting into in the first place, the show simply shrugged it off and kept moving forward. Sure, the plague did offer up some compelling drama, but the whole “inescapable death” thing probably would’ve gotten old pretty fast, so I applaud the writers for giving it the boot. There are only so many sores I can look at before I start to miss, well, normal skin.

Speaking of normal skin—or rather, a stunning complexion—Francis returns home to kick off the episode, with Lola, the baby, and Condé in tow. Kenna quickly comments on Condé’s good looks, and I realize that if I were to take a quiz titled, “Which Reign character are you?” I would get Kenna. But hey, at least that means I didn’t get Olivia!

Also, can we talk about how Francis and Mary reunite in matching coats, and they didn’t even, like, call each other to plan it because they don’t have phones? So basically, they’re (fashionable) soul mates. And they only get cuter when they simultaneously remove those coats (and the rest of their clothes) for the ultimate make-up sex. Sorry average people of modern times, but your make-up sex just got upstaged by the “you abandoned me to save your bastard child in the middle of a plague” make-up sex. The plague always wins.

As for Bash, he gets a hearty hug from his brother before quickly receiving an invitation to be a part of Francis’ council as a trusted adviser. Bash agrees to think about it, but he doesn’t have a lot of time to ponder before obvious villain Narcisse arrives. This time, Narcisse’s evilness is less related to his voice and more related to his red leather attire. Do you see anyone else wearing red leather? Nope. Because evil.

Narcisse quickly begins investigating his son’s death, and when he discovers a lone survivor in his son’s cell, he gets the whole story. In the middle of Francis’ safe return celebration, Narcisse and his army of nobles address the king and request that Nostradamus be charged with his son’s murder. Mary tries to handle the situation herself by going to Narcisse’s chambers, but there’s a reason Narcisse can pull off wearing red leather, and it has nothing to do with his skin tone. The man ain’t scared of nobody, not even a queen. He wants Nostradamus and the guards who killed his son drawn and quartered. Let me repeat: Drawn and quartered. Who is this guy?!

On a walk through the rain, Mary and Francis discuss their options. Well, first she lets out her frustration at him for sleeping with Lola of all people and then running off in a plague, but they quickly return to the matter at hand: They need evidence that Narcisse has murdered innocent people to acquire land, and unfortunately, his questionable voice and wardrobe aren’t enough. Francis asks Bash to ride out to towns and gather evidence, but instead, Bash finds yet another warning of a “reckoning,” only this one is more detailed. According to the creepy random stranger, all of the death and injustice has left a door open between the dead and the living. (If only it were a window, we know Henry could find his way through.)

Sidenote: Did she just say that the same thing happens every plague? How many plagues do you people have? I feel like we need to reevaluate some lifestyle choices you’re making, 16th century or not.

NEXT: Henry, is that you?

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