On ''The Real World,'' the housemates -- led by Tyrie and Jenn -- give us lessons in how to lie to, cheat on, and yell at your romantic partners

By Lindsay Soll
Updated March 15, 2007 at 04:00 AM EDT

The Real World: Denver

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”The Real World”: Rules for fooling around

Who would’ve thought The Real World was capable of having cliff-hangers! I waited the entire episode to see Tyrie go ballistic on Jazalle, and of course we got the inevitable ”To be continued” at the end. Dun…dun…dun. Apparently, next week the cops are going to arrest Ty (I knew someone was bound to break the law at some point or another in Denver). Possibly for domestic assault, but we can never be too sure, can we? It’s probably really for something stupid like jaywalking across the street after Jazalle runs away from him. Or maybe it’ll be for indecent exposure. (Remember a few episodes ago when he answered the door for Jazalle nekkid?)

In any case, Ty taught us an important lesson: Ladies, for God’s sake, listen to your man when he yells — I mean, talks. Otherwise, you’ll end up hostage in a bathroom stall, and that’s never fun.

So in honor of this mature action on Ty’s part, I’ve decided to make a list of other significant lessons we’ve learned in this episode:

Brooke is attracted to guys with long hair because her first boyfriend had longer hair than she did This would explain why we haven’t seen her get any booty whatsoever, but then again, she did bum-rush Ty last week with her tongue.

Jenn is super-devoted to her boyfriend back home, Jared No, really, she is. So much that not only did she come clean with Jared and confess to her drunken hookup with Alex — carefully leaving out the part that it happened more than once — she also said to Jared, ”I’m so sorry; I don’t want to be this person that does this to you,” and then went and hooked up with another boy, Stephen’s friend, Darnell.

Making out at a bar is way worse than having sex with a roommate who you ”don’t even care about” Just ask Jenn. She’s pissed off now that she has found out that Jared apparently — gasp! — kissed girls at the very same bar she frequents at home. Thank God it wasn’t documented on national television.

Brooke = the Dalai Lama of relationships ”Never feel sorry for a man. Period. Never. Because as soon as you start feeling sorry for them, you’ll figure it out soon enough, they’re f—ing around way more than you are.”

Tyrie and Jazalle are in looove So what if it’s only been a month or so since they met and they’ve had cameras following them around 24/7?

You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your waitresses Apparently, that’s not a good enough excuse for Jazalle.

Big Head has a name It’s Ashley, get it straight.

It’s completely legit for Jenn to ask Colie her advice about hooking up with Alex Even though Colie was so upset with her when she actually did it. I understand the whole ”forgive and forget” idea here, but c’mon people, you can’t really be that forgiving.

Colie does more than get drunk and fall for every guy that crosses her path That’s right, folks, she reads. Books even!

Darnell is beautiful As Jenn felt the need to say over and over again.

Your turn: What did you learn from this episode? Do you think a public kiss is worse than having drunken sex with a roommate? Is Ty really going to get arrested? Finally, are the roommates ever going to actually work for Outward Bound?

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The Real World: Denver

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