On ''The Real World,'' Brooke gets naked in bed with the supposedly gay Davis, then threatens to kill him for gossiping about her; plus, Dark Kent is back!

By Lindsay Soll
Updated April 12, 2007 at 04:00 AM EDT

”The Real World”: Brooke’s lust-hate relationship

This episode conclusively answered the question I posed to you guys last week: ”Is it just me or is Davis an instigator?” Davis is an instigator. He always seems to be found right in the middle of drama, batting his eyelashes and giving a sly smirk. Perhaps he acts like a total drama queen because he doesn’t feel he has any other role within the house. As he explained to Jenn over drinks, ”There’s really nobody in the house for me. I don’t belong with anybody. It’s like you have Colie. I feel like Tyrie and I could be better friends, but he can’t look past the fact that I’m gay. So I’m not going to have Tyrie, I’m not going to really have Brooke…” (Um, actually, you kinda did ”have Brooke,” but more on that later.)

I think Davis secretly likes to be an outcast; that way he never gets too attached to his housemates and doesn’t have to feel bad for talking about them behind their back or making fun of them to their face. In fact, he had no problem telling Jenn everything he thinks is physically wrong with every girl in the house. Just in case you’re keeping track: Colie has nice boobs and good hair, but she’s plain. Brooke’s not that pretty either, and she has a double chin. And finally, Jenn has a pretty face, but she needs to lose weight. Are you sure you aren’t straight, Davis? Because any gay guy would’ve totally mentioned how wrong Jenn’s eyebrows were before he mentioned her weight. (I kid, I kid.)

I love that right after Jenn asked Davis to tell her what’s wrong with her, she then said to the camera, ”Davis telling me that I’m fat is definitely the breaking point for me. I think that’s the rudest thing that you could say. I’m through with him.” In his defense, she asked him for the info. Plus, he never called her ”fat”; he said she needed to lose weight. In her defense, he really should’ve known better than to comment on a girl’s weight!

Jenn wasted no time running home to spread the word that Davis is a meanie, which of course, flipped Brooke’s delicate psycho switch. In this instance, I do have to say I was on her side a little bit. She had the right to be upset with Davis for being so critical and superficial. She, however, did not have the right to turn into a raging lunatic.

I wish that Brooke’s visiting parents could have been witness to her Carrie-like rage after Davis told her, ”I don’t think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.” I mean, do Mommy and Daddy have any idea what their daughter is capable of when she gets mad? I’m guessing they must, but then why haven’t they put her in therapy for it? She went as far as tearing up Davis’ pillow, destroying his lamp, running around with a beet-red face screaming obscenities, and, finally, ending the tantrum with a sloppy note to him that read, ”Davis, you are the nastiest person I’ve ever met. I will never trust you again. Burn in hell. Love, Brooke.” The last part actually made me laugh out loud. Burn in hell? Really? Could we be any more over-the-top? Oh wait, actually we can: Brooke then said (picture her shaking with anger and clenching her teeth), ”If I could f—ing kill him with my bare hands, I would.” These are things you might say or do when you catch your boyfriend in bed with your best friend, not when you’re told that you aren’t the most beautiful girl in all the land.

Thank God Davis took the initiative to try to smooth things over with Brooke. All he had to say was something like, ”Sorry I put you through that,” for her to be like, ”All right.” After all, we’re all dying to see more Brooke-and-Davis bed action, right? Wrong! Going back to what I’d previously mentioned before as Davis’ having Brooke, what was up with her being all naked in his bed at the beginning of the episode? And how did she even wind up naked in the first place? Did he jokingly take her clothes off? Did she voluntarily slip them off herself? Were they actually hooking up under the sheets? So many questions, so few answers! (I can imagine the RW production crew when this happened. Director: ”Camera 4, quick! Brooke is naked in Davis’ bed!” Camera 4 operator: ”Davis’ bed? What the…? Isn’t he gay?”)

Speaking of odd couples, Ty broke things off with Jazalle, which was a smart decision on his part. The only thing those two ever did was argue, and the last thing any female wants to do is provoke the dreaded Tyrie L-word, ”Listen!” because it will inevitably lead to a Tyrade. Newly single Ty pronounced in his confessional that his player alter ego, Dark Kent, is back, saying, ”In the sacrification of my heart and emotions, I’m going to be back out there f—ing.” I think Ty needs to conversate with Jenn about his word choice.

On a randomly related note, does anyone else find it weird that MTV is now airing three reality shows that have overlapping casts? (Jenn, Colie, Ty, and Davis are on The Inferno, and Suzy is on both Road Rules and The Inferno.)

All right, TV Watchers, it’s your turn: Do you think Davis was too harsh about the physical appearance of the ladies in the house? Were you as weirded out by Brooke’s being naked in Davis’ bed as I was? Do you think Jazalle is completely out of the picture? Finally, how happy are you that Jenn’s hometown beau, Jared, is going to finally learn the truth next week that Jenn slept with Alex twice (not just once as she lead him to believe)?

The Real World: Denver

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