On ''Prison Break,'' the Terrence Steadman tape is deemed useless on a date stamp technicality, and C-Note uses Mahone's care package to hang out in jail

By Kate Sullivan
March 01, 2007 at 05:00 AM EST
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”Prison Break”: Faulty evidence

Yeah, don’t worry, fellas. No one in the park will keep an eye on the guy who just threw a $2,000 suit jacket in the trash, knocked a payphone out of a homeless guy’s hand then waded into a fountain, and walked into a museum while on a cell phone he took from a child.

And after all that, he’s not the guy! So much for being safe, Michael and Lincoln. A quick Google image search might have come up with the real Cooper Green’s face. (Those government types are always at award ceremonies or cutting the ribbons to new beige and grey federal buildings.) But Michael and Lincoln weren’t the only ones to make a mistake: In addition to impersonating Cooper Green, if The Company had the real Green tailed, Sara would have led them right to Michael and Linc.

At least Michael picked up on fake Green’s sketchy behavior… but it was pretty hard to miss. (What, did Kim send in a rookie for this?) “A friend. He’s a federal judge” is a terrible answer to the question “Who are you going to hand my brother’s one chance at freedom over to?” And an even worse follow-up statement: “Do you see my clothes?” As if he’s had such hard time because he’s asthmatic and damp! He’d really say that to a man who has been on the run for weeks? He’s about to be handed a recording that could bring down the president. He should be so nervous and excited, basically unable to even process that he is soaking wet — and if he were an asthmatic, he would have been dead from all of this stress already. Sigh. How did The Company get so far with Einsteins like this on their payroll?

Speaking of payroll, Bellick wanted his Haywire money ASAP and made the mistake of going to Mahone’s office to claim it. Prompting Mahone’s brilliant, spooky comment that if Bellick stepped out of line again, he’d not only never see the cash, he’d “never see another sunrise.” Mahone has a hard enough time as it is making his staff trust him without some bulldog of a man with a black eye just wandering into a federal building. Maybe Bellick got to flash his badge downstairs and introduce himself like he practiced in the car. He did get to use it to gain access to and gently interrogate Sucre’s cousin in jail. Now Bellick is headed to Mexico (in the cheap seats) for a reunion with Sucre.

Meanwhile Sucre thinks he’s home free; going so far as to say that everything has worked out as he promised it would. Well, city girl Maricruz is being a mighty good sport about becoming a llama tender in Rio Juarez. That’s a sacrifice right there.

But it’s not even close to the sacrifice C-Note may have made. After Mahone emasculated C-Note by saying that he was taking care of C-Note’s family, he quickly changed his tune to a piteous one when he no longer needed the convict. Mahone promised to continue helping C-Note’s family if he used the suicide package sent to him in jail. Mahone is clearly appalled that he had to ask C-Note to abandon his wife and child by killing himself (as he is when he finally figures out that Linc is innocent). Mahone would do all of the things that C-Note has done, so he should have expected that C-Note was going to kill himself and sent him a message somehow. At the very least he should have mailed the noose standard and not express, just to be sure he wouldn’t need him. Kim asking for C-Note’s immediate disposal seems absurd. How many times has Michael slipped between the Feds’ hands? Isn’t offing C-Note a bit premature?

And isn’t offing a therapist just because he looks like you (complete with patchy dye-job) a bit rash too? Sure,T-Bag can recognize that the man looks like him, but he can’t know that the guy doesn’t have a family or regular patients who will go looking for him, who will broadcast his name on the frequently airing (if occasionally ignored) Fox News programs? No matter. What counts is that T-Bag has again shown his true colors as a murderer, and again got away with it. And unlike Bellick, he’s traveling in style. I love that he had to first go through both Chicago and Mexico — the only places anyone is looking for the escapees.

No one is looking for LJ anymore, and that’s how he likes it. He isn’t LJ anymore; he wants to stay in his alias-life instead of living like a fugitive, and frankly, Linc was a big baby about it. That was the first conversation he’d had with his son in a long time, and he couldn’t have been less reassuring.

Even Kellerman was more reassuring this episode. He sought out his long-lost sister to say a last goodbye and try to explain that what she was going to hear about him in the coming days without saying “I’m going to assassinate the president.” We got a vague Kellerman back story for the first time — he left home when he was just 18 (probably making his way by joining the armed services). His autobiographical spiel gave him the best/worst/best again line of the night: “Just ’cause someone spits you out of their crotch doesn’t make them your mother.” (Ick! Did you shudder?)

Kellerman continued to abuse his badge; this time using it to get on the roof above the president’s motorcade. (Again: How come no one took that badge from him when he was fired?) Next week’s episode looks crazy; Michael (turned over by Mahone?) being interrogated by Kim; T-Bag claiming his baggage with force; and Sucre coming face-to-face with Bellick. But what we’re really waiting to see is whether Kellerman’s literal smoking gun stops the president before the brothers’ figurative one earns Linc a pardon. Neither thing is bound to go off without a hitch.

So what do you think: Will Kellerman shoot the president before the brothers can blackmail her? Is C-Note dead? Will Bellick make it back to the States with Sucre? And will T-Bag use his new identity to become a shiny new penny or will his murderous rage always get the best of him?

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