Pretty Little Liars recap: Whirly Girl
The Liars return to Rosewood to find Jason, a new dog, and another dead body
And now we all know why nobody in Rosewood has a dog. Because, if you’re not paying attention, there’s a slight chance they’ll go into the backyard and dig up your dead mother. It’s harsh, but it’s true.
Overall, this week was about Ali’s return to Rosewood and the search to find her mother. And despite the fact that this episode didn’t contain any huge reveals or amazing Ezria moments, the pacing of the season so far is on track; we’re only two episodes in, but both have had some sort of payoff. If this were season 4, they probably wouldn’t have found Mrs. D’s body until the summer finale… if then. And living in an “A”-less world has added a layer of complexity that is good and bad. The new intricacies of the show are great, but we also just need some answers. Like Pepe, let’s dig in, shall we?
We pick up with the Liars returning home on a bus, where Ali quite literally has to fight the urge to run away again. But the Liars somehow convince her to head over to the police station and fess up to just about everything, including how Shana picked up where Mona had left off after going to Radley. Sadly, Ali has to be told why the police pit stop has to happen before heading home—as Hanna so nicely reminds her: “Your mother buried you.” To be a member of the DiLaurentis family…
After the girls do an odd Abbey Road homage, they sit down with Detective Holbrook and Ali immediately starts doing what she does best: lying. She tells Holbrook that she had been kidnapped and held hostage for years and that her friends had saved her by keeping her in a shed in the woods. Needless to say, everyone is confused. Good thing Mr. D (well, hello there) shows up to take Ali home before she can spew any more lies. The best part of this scene? Hanna’s “Was I sleeping on the bus? When did we discuss kidnapping?” Oh, Hanna. That stuff will never get old.
From the police station, the Liars each get reintroduced to the world of concerned parents and way too many questions. Veronica is on fire, asking about Ali and revealing that Melissa had returned from London with her “attitude” and her “secrets.” What else did she expect? Ashley, meanwhile, is busy explaining to Hanna how all cheese melts and trying to figure out Hanna feelings. Then there is Mike (Aria gets stuck with lil bro because her parents are… out?), who is a little disappointed by the fact that Ali hadn’t physically overpowered her attacker. You and us both, Mike.
NEXT: Meet Ali’s new best friend, Pepe
And just like that, everyone is back on Planet Alison, with Jason as creepier than ever. Yes, in the past he has been a little sketchy, but he also has had his moments. But now? The only thing recognizable about Jason is his good looks. First, Spencer and Emily catch him cleaning out the back seat of his car—like you do?—before they learn that Ali has received a new text. This one reads, “The truth will bury you in a New York minute.” Who sent it? Well, instead of talking like a normal person, Ali draws a question mark on the window. There must be something in the DiLaurentis house that just makes people naturally creepier.
Back in her bedroom, Ali gets a visit from her father, who is looking pretty dapper standing in her doorway. They discuss the search for Mrs. D, but neither one of them realize that she is so much closer than they think. They share a sweet moment—and an even sweeter baby picture—before we cut to Aria, who can’t sleep. Closing her eyes means seeing Shana and hearing violin music (presumably played by Shana). Only when Aria opens her eyes, she can still hear the music. Is that coming from her backyard? Who knew classical music could be so eerie?
Speaking of eerie, can we talk about how Jason is just watching his sister sleep? And more importantly, how Ali doesn’t react and isn’t going to bring it up to him the next day? Is this a normal occurrence in this house? They really need to start filtering their water or something.
The next day, the search for Jessica is on. Mr. D goes to ask Ashley for her help, and the audience collectively starts shipping them instantly. There, Hanna overhears Mr. D talk about how Jason is either in shock or his emotions have been deadened from drugs because he has yet to cry about his sister’s return. Mr. D may be on to something because why is Jason so mean when the shelter brings by a dog that Jessica had planned to rescue? Calm down, guy. It’s not like the dog is going to steal all your super cool beanies. Your sister has been through a lot. And everyone knows that when you get tortured by a cyber bully, you get a new dog. Oh, and you get to name it Pepe.
Plus, who needs a dog to dig through the trash when Emily and Spencer could just do it? There, they find what Jason had thrown out the day before. As shocking as it is to see a bakery bag—he can eat pastries and keep that physique?!—the important thing is that it is from New York. Suddenly, Emily’s theory is that Mrs. D only would’ve buried Ali if it had been to protect her other child.
NEXT: Mrs. D returns
Across town, Mona is buying rape whistles, Mike is busy trying to win Mona back, and Aria’s iPod is being overtaken by violin music. But more specifically, her iPod goes on the fritz as she googles “Theater Dead Girl Georgia.” Girl, we’ve got to work on your searching skills. Hanna, however, needs no help with her snooping. When her mom leaves the room, Hanna looks at Jessica’s emails to find one from the day she disappeared. It is addressed to an undisclosed recipient and reads, “I can’t protect you anymore.” Do you want to bet $50 that the “undisclosed recipient” is the person who buried her? Okay, $10?
Over at Spencer’s, Toby (and his awful hair) has returned with news: Melissa lied about seeing him in London. When he went to Wren’s apartment, he’d learned that Melissa was no longer staying there. So what had she been up to? Well, Veronica isn’t going to find out if it means talking to Wren. She’d rather “stick a knife in the toaster.” And that makes one of us.
As the day turns to night, we find out that Jason has to make a surprise trip to Philly to see a friend. Hanna and Emily follow him to a sketchy building but are scared away by a homeless man. Then there is Aria, who got a little unexpected face time with Mike and Mona, aka M-squared. The violin music had been Mike’s fault… something about a social studies project. And Mona? She covertly asks about Fitz.
As for Ali, she goes to visit her own grave to say goodbye to the girl she once was. Seconds later, Ali 2.0 is facing off with Mona 4.0. Mona admits that she’d been behind the text. So why hadn’t she signed her name? She isn’t sure. Because now, Mona is done pretending to be someone else. “I don’t have to hide,” she tells Ali. “You do. And you’re gonna wish you stayed dead.”
And just as a million questions begin to emerge, Aria makes a Fiddler on the Roof reference and then Pepe does what dogs do—he found a bone. Or rather, he found quite a few… in the form of Mrs. D. Welcome back to Rosewood, everybody!
(Current) top suspect: Jason (in a beanie)
What did you all think of the episode? Is Big “A” still out there? And what is Melissa hiding?