Jenna sheds light on her connection to Archer, and Ali continues to have the worst luck ever
Well, folks — after watching closely for an entire hour, I still have no idea who’s dead and who’s alive on this show. Especially because anyone can have a twin or a body double or an organic, homemade, artisan latex mask on at any time! So if you’re coming here for answers, I can’t say I have them. But if you’re coming here with answers… Leave ’em in the comments!
We open with a shot of Aria’s finger. Her plain, bare finger — meaning she didn’t give Ezra an answer to his proposal while the rest of us were trying desperately to fill the 8-9 p.m. slot in our calendars last week when the show wasn’t on. The Liars are discussing Rollins’ murder, as they like to do. They try to figure out who could be faking Rollins’ trip to Baltimore, because it seems like it’s helping their case, but as Emily points out, “A” never does anything for free. Then Ali comes into The Brew wearing the red jacket Emily gave to A.D. as evidence that Ali had killed Charlotte — you know, the one A.D. who kindly returned at the end of last week. Suffice it to say, Ali knowing they turned her in might put a little rift in the Liars’ friendship.
Spencer tries to explain, but Ali doesn’t let her off so easily. “You thought Hanna’s life was worth more than mine,” she tells Spencer. But Spencer’s sharp, and she spins the conversation in a different direction: “If anyone had the opportunity to put the jacket back, it’s Mary Drake who’s sleeping one room over.” Good point, Spence.
Elsewhere, the Liars have divided up their stalking. Spencer has to follow Mary, Emily gets Jenna (yay), and Hanna gets the scariest job of all: babysitting Elliot’s burner phone.
Spencer follows Ali home, where she, Mary Drake, and <3 Det. Marco Furey <3 gather around the table to hear what Marco and the Rosewood PD have found. Apparently, Archer Dunhill is wanted in the U.K. on several counts of petty theft and fraud (I love pretending that "petty theft" in this case means he was just being bratty about thieving). The bad news: The cops think the car rental, train ticket, and credit-card activity was planned just to divert their attention and keep them from looking closer to home for Rollins. Either way, they think he has unfinished business and that Ali's in danger, so she gets a 24-hour stakeout cop planted outside her house. Outside, Marco and Spencer chat privately — Spencer basically says "We can't do anything because you're investigating my friend's husband — wait, I didn't mean to imply you were interested." And they leave it at that. But there is definitely still chemistry there, my friends.
Over at The Brew, Hanna is fussing over her business plan when she gets a phone call…on Rollins’ phone. When she picks up, a voice that sounds eerily like Rollins says, “Next time you bury someone, make sure they’re dead.” NOT A GREAT SIGN! Of course, this makes Hanna freak out to Aria — when Aria had only called to ask for Hanna’s advice on Ezra’s proposal. “I saw his eyes. He saw it was me,” Hanna says about Rollins crashing face-first into her windshield. She’s worried he’ll go after her since she was driving the car, which I think is extremely logical. Eventually Aria does get to ask Hanna’s advice, and Hanna tells her she and Ezra are different than Hanna and Jordan and that they should get married. Oh, and she tosses her store-bought ring into a bush (hey, it might not be a diamond, but that was still $40, Hanna!) to announce she’s no longer engaged, which was a very cool move to freak Aria out.
Spencer goes to the Lost Woods Motel (always a good idea) and finds Mary Drake there, rooting through Rollins’ stuff. “If he were here, I’d probably be dead already,” Mary tells Spencer. “That man has a temper like you’ve never seen.” Just what you want to hear about the guy you might have buried alive. After a little chat, Spencer does seem to trust Mary — or at least believe what she’s saying.
Now for a bro interlude! Caleb (he’s back!) approaches Ezra at The Radley, where they bond about how Rosewood is confusing and it seems like the girls are always hiding something from them. Which, of course, they are! Caleb asks Ezra if his book has a happy ending, and Ezra says, “I’m…working on it.” He’s been calling Aria all day, and she’s been ignoring him. Not exactly the response you’re hoping for when you propose.
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Elsewhere at The Radley, Emily overhears Sara Harvey ordering drinks to room 303, and heads up with the goods. When she gets there, it’s just Jenna creepily playing flute all alone, so Emily sneaks in silently, then starts looking at Jenna’s computer — which shows a Baltimore Car Rental site. I know it’s Jenna and she’s scary, but Emily, I think you’re really taking advantage of a blind person here. Luckily (well, not for Emily) Sara Harvey swoops in from the porch and tattles: “It’s Emily. She was looking at your computer.” Sara tries to tell Emily she was looking out for her — that’s new! — and Jenna goes, “Stop talking, Sara. That’s enough.” Man, she is cruel to her lackeys!
NEXT: A Jenna/Charlotte flashback!
Anyway, for some reason Emily tells them Elliot Rollins is a fraud and the police are looking for anyone with information. For some other reason, Jenna decides to come clean about their relationship, and we’re treated to a flashback of Jenna, Charlotte, and Archer at a hospital. Apparently, Jenna’s the one who brought Archer and Charlotte together, AND Jenna helped get Archer his new identity, AND Jenna was also helping Charlotte find her birth mother. She explains she felt bad for Charlotte wasting away in Radley and went to visit her — and it so happened that Mona had told her everything about Rosewood, so Jenna was a bona fide celebrity in Charlotte’s eyes. Still not sure why that would make you go to such great lengths to help a stranger, right?
Also, on the day of the flashback Ali was coming to meet Rollins, and Archer needed to convince her Charlotte was well enough to come live at home. Charlotte also noted Archer “knows everything about me. My family, my upbringing, everything I’ve done, everything.” Surely all this “everything” is going to come into play later… And the “A” Game gets passed on once again!
Back in the present, Sara tries once again to tell Emily she was only trying to keep her safe. “I’m not talking about Jenna, I’m talking about—” she tries to explain, but Jenna beckons at just the right moment: “Sara, I need you now!”
Over at the Hastings’, Caleb and Spencer have a reunion, but it’s not a happy one. Despite trying to keep things upbeat, Spencer cries, telling Caleb he helped her remember what it felt like to be in love again after Toby. They don’t get back together, which is RIDICULOUS! They belong together! I’m ready to admit that!
In the DiLaurentis-Drake household (WHERE is Ali’s dad, by the way?), Ali and Aunty M are fighting again. Mary’s mad Ali went through her bags, Ali’s mad at Mary’s existence. Then Ali tries to ask why Charlotte went by Cece Drake if she’d never met her real mother, and Mary is floored. Literally, she crumples onto the couch. “We never met,” she says. “I don’t know how she ended up with that name. Except that maybe… Maybe she knew about me?” Then, in case any of us thought she was still lying about being Charlotte’s mother, Mary shows her C-section scar where an impatient doctor cut Charles out of her without letting her hold him after. “Jessica took my child from me,” Mary says. Yeah, Jessica doesn’t seem so great. But if Charles was going to end up in a sanitarium anyway, couldn’t mother and child have just stuck together?
Hanna and Spencer are sharing a beer on some swings (so adult! so Freeform!), and they’re both still rooting for each other with Caleb. Spencer wants Hanna to tell Caleb she and Jordan broke up. Is this really where Spaleb ends? It can’t possibly be this easy. But their heart-to-heart chat is interrupted when Rollins’ burner phone rings again. “First you turn her in, then you leave her all alone? Stupid bitches,” says the voice that, again, sounds very much like Elliot. They frantically call Ali and warn her, and she goes outside to ask her 24-hour cop to come inside. Of course, for one of the first times ever, the cop is wearing a mask that very, very clearly looks like a mask (without access to his latex recipe, the craftsmanship slips, I guess). But Ali doesn’t see it, and in he goes. She suddenly loses track of him, and ends up looking in a dark bedroom, where he’s spray-painted “HONEY, I’M HOME!” in red on the wall. He then starts choking her from behind, she rips off a chunk of his mask (FINALLY someone thinks to do this!), and he runs away at the sound of police sirens.
Along with Marco and the rest of the force, the girls rush to Ali’s house. Mary has an alibi, so it can’t have been her. But was it really Rollins? Emily and Ali have a moment — Ali apologizes for pushing them away, knowing Elliot probably returned the jacket just so she’d end up being alone. Emison shippers seem to have something to look forward to.
And another set of shippers can breathe a sigh of relief, too: After Aria told Ezra about the murder (well, we assume) and got a call that maybe Elliot’s still alive, Ezra decided to try his proposal one more time. And this time, Aria accepted: “Completely, absolutely, yes!”
But not everyone gets a happy ending. When a maid comes into Sara Harvey’s hotel room, we see a studded leather glove on the floor. The maid goes into the bathroom, where water is running in the tub, and we see Sara’s hand sticking out over the porcelain. Real talk: It doesn’t look that bad. Definitely not glove-worthy. It just looks a little veiny! Anyway, it doesn’t seem like any of that matters, because as the maid gets closer, she screams: Sara’s head is bleeding, and she looks extremely, extremely dead. But is she? Given that she was trying to be nice to Emily and seemingly trying to turn things around… I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the end for her. But who would want her dead? Jenna? Archer? Uber A? Sabrina from The Brew?
Meanwhile, Hanna and Spencer decide to get to the bottom of the Rollins thing once and for all. They go to the burial site to see if the grave’s been dug up (or crawled out of). It looks the same as they left it, but they dig for a while and aren’t finding anything. Until they do: a dead face crawling with worms. Now, am I crazy, or did that not look that much like Archer/Rollins/Huw Collins? Was it just puffy-rotten-dead face? Am I looking too closely? Not closely enough? WAS IT HIM?
When we get our Uber A scene in the last few seconds of the episode, there’s a huge box in the lair labeled “Charlotte’s Books.” Either Archer still knows everything, or he’s passed it along to someone else who also has all the knowledge at his or her fingertips. I feel so comforted!
So, everyone: Who is dead?! Who is alive? Will we ever know? Let me know your theories in the comments.
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