Pretty Little Liars recap: Hit and Run, Run, Run
She’s baaack! As soon as one cruel nemesis found his way to a muddy grave (rest in peace, dirtbag), it’s not even 24 hours before another unfriendly face comes sauntering back into town to play some more of her games. Yep, that’d be Jenna, the woman who makes everyone around her shiver in their booties — and not just over jealousy for her sick sunglass game, either. She’s been M.I.A. for a while, but she’s not changed one iota in the five-plus years it’s been since the Liars last had to deal with her.
Jenna’s just great for drama, but oh wow has that chick been a hard read all series long. Thank goodness that this go-round, she actually seems to be pretty straightforward so far with her motives (albeit still a pretty little liar because, well, you know). Reading between the lines, it looks like she’s here to enact payback against Alison, to drive Toby crazy, and to check in on her pal Archer Dunhill, a.k.a. Dr. Elliott Rollins. (She obviously doesn’t know he bit the dust prior to her arrival.)
Here’s what went down on Pretty Little Liars this week.
Bye, bye body.
Hanna running over Elliott was most definitely an accident, but since the Liars can’t help but make every single situation worse for themselves, they decide to bury the body. Why? Well, Spencer thinks it’d be considered first-degree murder because they all had plenty of reason to get rid of him, and, well, they worked in cahoots with Alison to track him down in the first place. Hanna, in particular, had something to hate him for since she basically confirmed at the Amish barn last week that it was Elliott who’d put her there and repeatedly poked her with a shock stick.
Alison’s too fussed to help with the digging part, apparently, but she does get her hands dirty in another way — by stealing Elliott’s access card to the hospital. She’ll have to go sneak in and slip back into the crazy cuffs at the sanitarium if she wants to keep her alibi in check (hall cameras just aren’t a thing at psych wards in this show, shrug).
Hanna feels pretty sure they’re making a hundred mistakes — she’s seen enough Forensic Files episodes to know their trail is a mile long already — and she’s right. Not only do they leave the car (which subsequently disappears) unattended (why did all five have to ride in Elliott’s car again?), but Hanna also drops her necklace in Elliott’s car and forgets about it until it’s already been delivered to the train station.
Good thing Mona, who decides to come back to see Alison in her “full-on Girl, Interrupted” state, is still a complete pro at crime-scene manipulation. Guess all her training at Charlotte’s bunker is finally paying off! She saves the wayward day by getting the windshield fixed “at a place that doesn’t ask questions and won’t give answers” (is it the same one Elliott paid off?), and also by tipping everyone off that Elliott probably had a burner phone hidden somewhere that they should probably find.
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When Hanna goes to retrieve her bracelet before the scheduled train arrives (they’ve planned to plant a sweater on it after buying a ticket with his card, so it looks like he took off), they hear the phone ring, and whaddya know. It’s Jenna, asking for Archer Dunhill — A.D.! — which, it turns out, is Elliott Rollins’ real name. The actual Dr. Rollins, Toby discovers, has been dead for quite some time. What’s not clear is whether Mary Drake was ever aware Charlotte’s doctor was a farce. She pays Alison a creepy visit after “Elliott” disappears and declares she’s “in charge” of Alison now, so she’s still not Team Liar or anything, but it looks like he may have very well been pulling wool over everyone’s heads. Everyone except Jenna?
NEXT: The anti-confession…
Jenna’s a spinna.
Not that anyone’s ever been able to take Jenna at face value, but her trickiness is getting over no one right about now — not even Toby, who apparently had some kind of falling out with her three years ago (watch this space for something interesting because the history of those two is always next-level cray).
She taunts Hanna, Aria, Emily, Spencer, and Mona (oh, right, Mona’s back, too!) while they make a public brunch appearance at the hotel to keep up some image of normalcy (while secretly discussing everything they’ve done wrong as an evidence-eliminating entourage, natch). She even threatens to pay Alison a visit at the hospital because payback is, like her, a total bitch.
The timing of her arrival is a coincidence to exactly no one, of course. We don’t know how or why she knows Archer Dunhill or what she’s calling him for, but it’s a safe bet to assume she’s had something to do with him torturing Alison — the revenge-for-Charlotte motive is really starting to fall apart at this point, isn’t it? Could Mary Drake and Charlotte have just been ploys to get to Alison? It would make sense why he developed a “relationship” with her when he was supposedly having something with Charlotte, too, wouldn’t it?
Wait, Ali did *not* kill Charlotte?
When Aria accompanies Ali to the hospital to restore her to her former state of inglory (muzzle mask and all), Ali mentions she can’t believe “Elliott” thought she killed Charlotte, which is pretty funny because everyone else thinks that as well. They’ve all been going off the assumption that Ali did kill Charlotte, for whatever reason, and their rescue-mission-gone-wrong here was more to prevent their friend from being tortured in the hospital, irrespective of her guilt level.
But Alison swears it wasn’t her. She remembers that night and admits that yes, Aria and Ezra did see her walk into the church in that red shirt and all (it was undeniable, really), but says she just talked with Charlotte. Charlotte was upset about Ali and the doc developing a tryst while she was in treatment and asked her to leave her alone — that’s when she heard the swish that meant she’d fallen into the ropes.
We still don’t have an explanation of the creepy rose body-decor she was found with or the fact that Charlotte was supposedly bludgeoned in the neck before falling down the shaft, but Ali’s given her word, for whatever it’s worth.
NEXT: Spoby > Spaleb…
Meanwhile, Spaleb is a bust.
That Haleb 2.0 smooch might be the officially determined cause of death for Spencer and Caleb’s steamy romance, but a closer examination would reveal their relationship was slowly but surely poisoned just by the sheer proximity of Hanna and Spencer and Caleb to one another, whether or not anyone secretly locked lips. See, Spence broke the chief girl-squad rule by having a thing with Caleb in the first place — ex-flings are one thing, but an ex-love has an eternal statute of limitations between besties.
He can stand in the doorway and talk all day about how instant their connection was and how he sacrificed a job in San Francisco for her and blah blah blah, but when Hanna came around again, they both knew something was…off. And wrong. It should’ve occurred to them long before now, really, but here’s where we’re at.
Spencer’s got enough on her plate right now, what with being fired from her job and burying a dead body (more on that later) and, oh, having a mother who’s a state senator now. So yeah, Caleb’s last-ditch effort to make amends with her over the spit-swap he and Hanna engaged in a few weeks before is a no-go. To be fair, Hanna was right there listening the whole time (and no, she didn’t courteously go upstairs to give them privacy) and Spence was right in the middle of destroying criminal evidence, so his timing literally could not have been worse to have a make-or-break conversation.
Spencer knows it’s done. She’s known it for a while. Remember when he practically petted her like a puppy for saying “I love you” to him before? Gross.
What she wanted and what they had were two different things, and she seems to realize that at the exact moment she’s about to christen the Radley’s elevator with that DiMarco guy from the bar. She cuts it off before it’s gone too far, but that’s exactly what Caleb and Hanna did too, so now they’re even, right? Tit for tat, so to speak?
Erm … not so much. See, Caleb’s the guy who likes the silent walk-away routine. He did it with Hanna before just because she chose a work trip over their vacation, and now he’s done it to Spencer because she wouldn’t open the door when he whimpered his hardest. You know what? Let him go, Spencer and Hanna. You’re both better off (until, ya know, there’s another IT emergency or whatever).
And Toby’s on the move.
At this point, Toby’s officially relegated poor Yvonne to the backburner. He knows he’s on thin ice with her — who wouldn’t be after spending so much time with an ex and her friends instead of coming home?! But he’s still putting his full time, effort, and attention to the Liars’ request for more intel on Elliott, which is now a double-edged sword because (a) he knows they’ve been sniffing in the guy’s direction for some reason, and (b) he’s also sounding the alarms to find the guy.
If only Em hadn’t delivered that folder, as Spencer asked… then Toby wouldn’t be on the case, and probably no one would be looking for Elliott — Archer, rather — except for Jenna. And maybe the hospital. And Mary Drake? Okay, okay, so his disappearance might not otherwise be a closed case, but now it’s priority one, which is definitely no good. Now that Spencer’s single again, think she’ll go for it to distract him?
Four little liars and a being named “A” (who may or may not be the fifth little liar) try to live their lives in Rosewood. It’s complicated.