Kharen Hill/ABC

John Doe finally makes his choice. Also -- dragons!

April 30, 2015 at 08:41 PM EDT

Why do Ginnifer Goodwin’s tears always make me drop my innate snarky cynicism and hug whatever fluffy stuffed animal is waiting nearby? When Margene Heffman had to give up her fledgling jewelry business on Big Love, I was this close to marching over to Utah to teach that no-good Bill Henrickson a lesson myself. I even wanted her to seduce Justin Long in that horrible hot mess He’s Just Not That Into You, which probably makes me insane. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that Goodwin is an impossibly likable actress, so watching her heart break last night was an emotionally troubling experience. I’ve got your number, John Doe David Nolan.

Anywho, the opening credits for last night’s Once Upon A Time included a dragon, so there was no way that this wasn’t going to be a top-notch episode. We also had a visit from the phenomenally petrifying Alan Dale, and that MacCutcheon Scotch whiskey his Charles Widmore loved oh-so-very-much. $120 a glass! But the episode ultimately belonged to Josh Dallas’ Prince Charming/David Nolan, who wound up being not quite as princely as we initially thought.

We began at John Doe’s welcome home party. Except now his name is officially David Nolan, so I guess we began at David Nolan’s welcome home party. It was a rager, but all David could do was pout because Mary Margaret “lost her invitation.” Kathryn tried to jog his hazy memory by mentioning a mini-windmill that used to sit in their front yard, while Henry attempted the exact opposite.

According to Henry, the reason that the curse was not affecting David — the reason he still loved Mary Margaret — was that his amnesiac brain couldn’t handle it. Everyone else’s brain was filled with fake stories, but in David’s they just wouldn’t stick. If Henry is right, and it would certainly appear that he is, then Kathryn is officially exonerated of any guilt. In her mind, she really did lose her beloved husband, who was now running around town with a beautiful brunette. Lucky for her, her new “friend” Regina was on the case.

David managed to escape the festivities, and he found his Mary Margaret inexplicably hanging a birdhouse in a tree in the middle of the night. Seriously, who does that? It’s dangerous, and could definitely wait until morning. He told her that he loved her, and that he was officially choosing her over Kathryn. The David who married Kathryn was a stranger to him, while the David who was here today was permanently stuck on Mary Margaret. She was undoubtedly thrilled to hear this, but held her cool. Because, you know, he’s married.

NEXT: Charming dies. Just kidding?

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