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She is...who? And her daughter is...WHAT?

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November 17, 2017 at 10:37 PM EST

Ugh, guys. This girl Eloise Gardener is a problem that’s been coming up for a few episodes, so as we go into our big two-hour night of Once Upon a Time, we finally address what’s going on before bidding Once adieu for a few weeks. Of course, at this point in the game, Regina is back to being Regina, but she has her hands tied about revealing that to anyone because someone will pay.

We start in the Wish Realm, many years ago, with Hook calling for the Jolly Rodger to be in ship shape. In this world, Snow White defeated the Evil Queen and the curse was never cast. But then we come back and poor Hook/Rodgers is out there doing the Lord’s work, investigating the murder of our tattoo friend with that crazy symbol on his wrist. Rumple shows up to take over and warns Hook about getting in too deep with this case.

Jacinda and Henry show up to celebrate…TRUE LOVE’S KISS? Nah, no worries. It’s just getting the food truck running. Mid drinks, Roni tells Jacinda she should work for her because if she does, she can keep tabs on their romance. Roni has a job. To. Do. But it doesn’t seem that Ivy needs to keep tabs on Roni as much as she does Lucy, who is determined to get Jacinda and Henry together.

Back in the Wish Realm, Hook is on his way to seek out his revenge when he runs into Rapunzel, who reveals to him that the Evil Witch has imprisoned her and that she can’t help him. But he’s feeling pretty jazzed about this development because if he can get the same flower, he can imprison his own Dark One. So he insists that Rapunzel tell him about the garden where he can lock in his own imprisonment flower.

Back in Hyperion Heights, Rodgers meets back up with Alice, whose advice was actually helpful — but when she looks through Rodgers’ notes, she says that it looks like the girl ran away instead of being kidnapped. Alice is going to be a good partner for ol’ Hook. Meanwhile, Victoria is trying to figure out who’s been up there visiting Dreadzella. Looking at the footage, she takes the clue and discovers that it was Ivy, but she’s interrupted by Rumple’s arrival. When he explains he’s having trouble throwing Hook off the Eloise Gardener case, she tells him he’d better get on it, or she’ll have someone take care of him. Permanently.

But in the Wish Realm, Hook has his hands full with something else entirely. A giant gnome attacks him on his search for that magic flower, and after some swift maneuvering and the Power of Song, Hook is able to snag the flower and destroy the gnome. This world, man. But once he lands it, he makes the decision to be a good guy in the magical storm and head back to save Rapunzel. And that’s when we flash to Dreadzella and, hey, guys…is Dreadzella maybe Rapunzel?! Vicky confronts her on working with Ivy and warns her that she does not want to follow through on that plan.

Back at Roni’s, Regina is figuring out a way to keep Jacinda and Henry apart and essentially says that social services won’t be too keen on a single mother working at a new job with a new boyfriend. It’s enough to do the job, for now. Back with Hook, he admits to Henry that the reason Eloise went missing is because he was drunk and not doing his job the night she went missing and that it’s his fault. And to make matters worse, Alice shows up with some new information…turns out Eloise is dead after running away.

Hook is brokenhearted and starts to turn to the bottle again, but he’s not so convinced. Along with the terrible news, he got a drawing that belonged to Eloise. But when he picks it up again, he realizes the ink is new enough to smear. Maybe she’s NOT dead. So he goes to confront Rumple because he knows he’s behind this fakery regarding the journal. And it’s in that moment when Rumple confronts Hook and says that he can’t explain what’s going on, but he’s keeping this secret to protect Hook and that even if he feels like he knows her, Eloise Gardener is not who he’s looking for. Of course, that’s not enough for Hook, so he goes to confront Ivy about it because he can’t just leave well enough alone.

Henry goes to Regina’s place and chats with her about Jacinda working at Roni’s. He’s pretty stoked because it’s just further proof that Regina is a good person, but he doesn’t know that it’s Regina (still being a good person) who has inevitably ruined their date together. Jacinda has to blow off Henry for a second shift, but in reality, it’s because her main priority is getting custody of Lucy and showing a stable life to social services.

In the Wish Realm, Hook returns for Rapunzel, and she’s stunned — so stunned that they commence making out. And that magic flower? Well, it’s left out all vulnerable. And you know what? We were right about Rapunzel! She’s Dreadzella for sure, who is actually Mother Gothel, and she even offers to help Hook get his own revenge. But he turns the offer down in return for this baby Rapunzel/Dreadzella/Mother Gothel had. That’s right…our boy Hook has stayed behind for this baby, which he names ALICE.

So y’all, it seems like we’re finally getting fulfillment on every question we have because back in Hyperion Heights, all the details end up coming together. Hook confronts Vicky and ends up breaking in and finding Mother Gothel, who is actually Eloise Gardener, and for once, I’m with Rumple. Setting this girl free? Not a great plan.

And to make matters worse, when he confronts Alice about lying, he tells her that he’s not upset. Just disappointed. CLASSIC DAD MOVE. On top of that, while Vicky is being arrested, she confronts Ivy for being awake and tells her she has NO IDEA what she has released into this world. But this also means that Lucy is now free to be with Jacinda…or not. Seems that she’s getting admitted into the system, so again, let’s reiterate: Nothing about Eloise being free is a good thing. (Recap continues on page 2)

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Everything you’ve ever read about fairy tales is true—the residents of Storybrooke are living proof.
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