Jack Rowand/ABC

When has a John Hughes movie not gotten the job done?

November 10, 2017 at 10:16 PM EST
We gave it a B-

We live in a complicated world, this Hyperion Heights/Post-Emma Enchanted Forest World. Where there’s new kinds of evil and maternal frustrations and strange tattoos on people’s arms that could mean God knows what. And even when it gets a little less cloudy… a little less complicated… it’s still awful because the forces that be have made it so. Maybe we should just jump in and review.

Henry and Regina are not processing well that picture of them we saw last week, but that’s what happens when you don’t remember your past, ya know? It startles Regina so much that she pulls a bat to go “deal with” Victoria, who she’s convinced staged the picture. In the end, Henry stops her, which is a shame because this version of Regina is off her rocker, and it’s incredible. They’re interrupted by Jacinda, who is pretty upset with Henry because of #SocialMediaHalloweenPhotos with Ivy because even ABC knows us at our worst.

But we flash back to Henry and Cinderella’s past where they’re almost overtaken in a heist to steal Henry’s motorcycle away. Regina shows up to stop the guys, but Henry and Cinderella have it covered, because that’s the power of love. Meanwhile back in the present, Ivy visits Victoria, who has a terrible headache. Ivy insists it’s probably the flower pollen, which just so happens to be the flowers we saw at the beginning of the season… you know, the ones that represent new beginnings. She offers to take them away to creepy lady upstairs, and it just so turns out that they need those flowers for their next big step.

In the hospital, Rumple is still woke and ready to leave the premises. Rogers picks up that something is up and he tries to question Alice, but she’s on Rumple’s side here… even if she did kind of shoot him. In Roni’s bar, Lucy comes in and demands to see the picture because she is incessant. She immediately spells out Regina and Henry’s connection, and she’s so annoying about it that even Roni snaps at her a bit. But the reason she snapped is because Roni once tried to adopt but was shut down last minute. It’s a painful memory, but Roni isn’t one to be held down by memories (or apparently false reality) because she goes into full mom mode and leads Henry to Jacinda, where she insists he ask her out.

Back in fairytale land, Regina has left Henry behind and is just taking a stroll through the woods when she sees a hooded figure getting attacked by a vine that pops out of a box. Right before she’s about to pay, Regina saves her only to find out it’s Drizella, who admits she’s out in the woods herself to steal someone’s magic. But with Regina being a fulltime good girl now, she tells Drizella that she’s going to help her use the gift she has all on her own. But clearly some girls never learn because in reality, Drizella has gone back upstairs to see (let’s just call her Dredzella) to take her the last part of the ingredients for their upcoming mixture. Out of all the ingredients, a plant grows and Drizella squeezes out the juice into a vial and says, “Let’s see if Regina is as powerful as she thinks she is.”

Back outside of Jacinda’s food truck, Henry walks up with a boombox and goes full Say Anything on her, but clearly Jacinda is not a John Hughes fan. She’s not interested in his attempts, though, because she saw what Ivy posted on Instagram. But his rambling (must be where Lucy gets it) pays off because she finally agrees. Granted, it’s a date to help her fix her food truck, but hey… a date’s a date. Elsewhere in town, Roni goes to visit Lucy, who is pretty brokenhearted that no one is willing to give this whole “Let’s Remember Your Life As a Fairy Tale Person” together thing. But Roni, even if it’s fake, says she’ll help her prove it.

And that takes us into the past, where Regina is giving Drizella a serious lesson in magic. At first she can’t get it, but when Regina puts them in mortal danger, Drizella steps up and saves her. That’s when Regina gets real and explains that when you get magic, you have to use it correctly because she once cast a spell, and it didn’t go so hot. And that’s when they’re interrupted by Rumple. And that’s a perfect segue back into the present where Roni and Lucy go to Rumple to ask him to check and see if a Regina Mills adopted a kid named Henry Mills back in Boston. When Roni says she’ll owe him one, Rumple says they have a deal.

Catching up with Rogers and Alice, Alice asks him about Eloise Gardener, the girl who disappeared from last episode. That’s when Rogers pulls out that notebook with the few clues he has. And that’s when Alice speaks in a bit more of a riddle, insisting he may already have the pieces he needs to solve where Eloise Gardener went. But before we can solve that mystery, we catch up with Roni again, who has been visited by Rumple. He tells her she was correct about Regina Mills, but that favor she asked for will need to be returned.

Back in the past, Regina finds Drizella again and reveals that Victoria’s big plan for Drizella is to steal her heart and put it in Anastasia to wake her. She’s already tried to get Henry’s, and it didn’t work, so Drizella is gonna have to do. Not feeling very hopeful, she asks Regina to help her kill Victoria, but Regina declines because that’s literally evil. But Drizella can’t be stopped, so she’ll find counsel elsewhere. She finds Prince Gregor who then threatens to kill Drizella, but Regina has chased her down and stopped him from killing her mother. But it turns out, she didn’t bring Gregor here to kill her mother. She brought him here to turn her own heart black. She’s of no use to Anastasia now, and she’s here to cast a Dark Curse. That’s right… Drizella is BONKERS, guys.

In Hyperion Heights, Rogers sits down to review all of his details again when he decides to go and visit that man with the tattoo that matched the diagram in his notebook. But by the time he gets there, that man is dead. But he’s not the only one entrenched in a mystery. When Roni opens up those adoption papers that Rumple delivered, she puts it to the test and signs Regina’s name only to find out that the handwritings match perfectly. But as she discovers that, Drizella comes into Roni’s bar and uses that mixture to poison our girl and before Roni can figure it out, it appears she’s able to jog all of Regina’s memories. It doesn’t initially make sense why Drizella woke her up, but it eventually hits Regina. We don’t get those details, but then Drizella reminds her that if the curse is broken, something bad happens to the people she loves, and my guess? Henry dies. What a time. But end of the day, Regina has to keep Henry and Jacinda apart because if true love’s kiss happens, well, that could break the spell.

In the past, Regina speaks with Henry and says she was stupid for ever letting Drizella that close to magic and that ultimately, she hurt him when she was just trying to help. But Henry admits he needs his mom, no matter what. And they have a similar moment back in Hyperion Heights, but Henry just doesn’t know that Regina is his mom. She nearly breaks it to him, but again… that would cause it all to fall apart, so she restrains herself because for now, everything has to stay as is. Or else.

You May Like