Jack Rowand/ABC
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April 30, 2017 at 09:33 PM EDT

Born in darkness, that one.

No, literally. Rumple was born as the candles flickered out, and it’s an almost perfect prophecy for our town miscreant. As he’s born to Fiona (Black Fairy has such a pretty name!), Blue and Tiger Lily appear. Tiger Lily is Rumple’s fairy godmother, but she doesn’t arrive alone because Rumple was born to a bigger prophecy indeed: He was born to have a ton of light magic. He’s supposed to be the SAVIOR.

Back in Storybrooke, Rumple is having quite a time trying to wake Blue up… even with the ingredient from a dead baby dragon. Failing, Rumple steps outside to sulk, but when he does, Blue wakes up. She reveals that the other end of that wand is in the middle of Storybrooke, but she doesn’t have much else to say because Snow, at her bedside, transforms — she was never Snow. She was the Black Fairy. And David was actually Gideon is disguise. They transport Blue away, but as the Black Fairy escapes with Blue, Rumple and Belle hold back Gideon. They’re going to get his heart back. And to get the job done, Rumple sends himself, Emma, and Gideon into the dream world.

In her most trying of challenges to date, Zelena is trying to build a crib without magic. You may think that is a joke, but have you ever bought something from IKEA and gotten 20 minutes in and thought, “I could really use a wand right now? Or at least the Allen wrench they promised would be in here to begin with?” Yeah, crib-making is no joke. But it makes Zelena wonder… How will she protect Robin? That’s when Regina offers her a potential solution: a set of keys.

Meanwhile, Emma is in the dream world with Rumple, so she doesn’t go off and kill the Black Fairy all willy-nilly. And this is actually Rumple’s dream world, not Gideon’s, which comes to light when they come across the place where Rumple was born. That’s when we flash back to Rumple’s infant home, where the Black Fairy is super on edge about her son being the Savior. Tiger Lily promises that it’s the fairy godmother’s job to protect the Savior, not his mother’s. Black Fairy offers to let Tiger Lily hold him, but in that moment, she transforms herself into a fairy, to Tiger Lily’s bewilderment.

In a spin-off I would absolutely watch, the keys Regina has offered Zelena are for a car to get her out of town. Problem is, Zelena has no idea how to drive a car. Watching Zelena learn basic human activities is everything. Regina wants her to get out because there are going to be a lot of casualties in the final battle (spoiler?!), and she can’t afford for Henry to be one of them, so she wants Zelena to take him to New York with her.

And that battle is approaching so quickly. On the search for that wand, Snow and Regina figure out that the piece of the wand that can be found in “the center of town” is actually in the heart of town — Granny’s. Regina leaves Zelena behind in order to get to the bottom of this, and they’d better hurry because Black Fairy has a plan of her own. She’s taken Blue down into the mines, and she plans on torturing our girl to get information out of her.

Back in time, the Black Fairy is being the ultimate helicopter mom by inspecting literally every baby born in winter to make sure it doesn’t have the crescent moon scar indicative of the child who’s going to kill Rumple. She’s decided that instead of just continuing to protect him, she’s going to create a forbidden spell — she just needs to get in the fairy vault, which is not a casual thing, guys.

In dream world, Emma and Rumple talk about their abandonment issues from being orphans, but Rumple insists that he’s different. He wasn’t given a name; he was pretty much just left in the cold, and he won’t be sad when Emma finally takes out that old broad. It’s at this moment that Gideon appears, and Gideon is actually pretty great. He thanks Rumple for fighting for him, but he has no idea where his own heart is. But Rumple does have one advantage — discovering his mother’s darkest secret: the reason she gave him up. Gideon insists that he can discover the secret, if he’s willing to face it.

In Storybrooke, Regina, Hook, David, and Snow are tearing Granny’s apart, and Granny is NOT pleased. But they have to find that wand, y’all. They manage to discover it underneath the jukebox, but they can’t really get much done without the Savior being present. When the Black Fairy appears, Regina is pretty adamant that she’s not giving up that wand, so we have a stalemate: Black Fairy is ready to kill a queen, and Regina? Well, she’s ready to unleash a fury on a fairy.

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Everything you’ve ever read about fairy tales is true—the residents of Storybrooke are living proof.
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