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April 09, 2017 at 09:28 PM EDT

So Emma and Gideon are like… kind of just really a malicious brother and sister at this point. Actually, let’s nix that because there are way too many family complications on this show. We kick off with Emma and Gideon in a bit of a Savior-off, and Gideon can’t handle it because he keeps bringing up his past with the Black Fairy. And y’all… it was a past.

Little boy Gideon actually seems like a sweet kid. He’s reading to his brother-friend Roger, but Roger warns him to put the book away because she’ll see that he stole it. You know the story… the one he was named after. And when the Black Fairy waltzes in and snatches it, Gideon calls it how he sees it — that’s his story. But the Black Fairy tells him he’s not a hero, and to prove it, she threatens Roger’s life in front of Gideon, and Gideon doesn’t step forward.

We flash to the present, where Emma is over this letting-Gideon-go business, and Snow is happy to help take Gideon out because she’s “been looking for some mother-daughter bonding time.” Speaking of mommy issues, Rumple reveals that the Black Fairy is his mother, and then Belle begs Emma not to hurt Gideon. Emma is confident that she can handle anything… Gideon, the Black Fairy, whatever comes her way. But Rumple reveals that the Black Fairy, well, that’s where all darkness comes from.

Elsewhere, Regina is doing her best to undo that sleeping spell on Snow and Charming, but she can’t get it figured out yet. Henry offers to help, but as he’s taking down her magical grocery list, his eye goes blurry, and he starts scribbling in another language, presumably controlled by, you guessed it — the Black Fairy. Speaking of that tricky lady, Gideon visited her on his 28th birthday. Girlfriend is ready to celebrate, but the celebrations are interrupted when the Black Fairy reveals that the key to her vault has been stolen. And Gideon’s mission is to make that person pay.

In the present, Gideon is back in the clock tower, where Emma has agreed to help him defeat the Black Fairy… if he hands over the shears and sword. So he does, and for a minute, things are looking up. Not for everyone though, because Hook is back in his old stomping grounds with Blackbeard, looking for a bean. There’s some back and forth about their past, and it all culminates in a game of cards with the Jolly Roger on the line for Hook.

Back in Storybrooke, Gideon and Emma get to work on taking out the Black Fairy, but when she figures out what the two of them are doing, she sends in a crazy-looking arachnid through a book that doesn’t look like any bug or spider I’ve tried to kill, so you can’t blame Gideon and Emma for taking off when magic doesn’t take it out. Back in the past, the birthday boy follows through on his mother’s wishes and confronts his mother’s workers about stealing the key. Threatening to turn them all into rats, he takes a random worker and threatens to start with him, but the real culprit comes forward… it’s brother-friend Roger! He tells Gideon he doesn’t have to exact revenge because he can help him defeat the Black Fairy. I know this is silly, but you watch: There’s a connection between our buddy Roger and that spider.

Back at the Poker After Dark in Neverland table, cheating abounds and Blackbeard wants that ship. But Hook is savvier than Blackbeard gives him credit for, getting him to open up a portal to send both of them going to look after the Jolly Roger. Oh, Hook.

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Everything you’ve ever read about fairy tales is true—the residents of Storybrooke are living proof.
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