The story of Zelena and Hades
Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a girl named Zelena, sister of Regina, banished to Oz when her mother gave her up. Today, she celebrates herself with a green cupcake (of course) and a sad look at the memories of when she was abandoned. But her day is about to get better and then worse at the same time: Her flying monkey brings her the scarecrow because Zelena needs help making the time travel spell work. Problem is, the time travel spell involves a lot of very complicated and hard-to-acquire things, including wisdom, a.k.a. a brain, a.k.a. why she needs the scarecrow.
Before she can take what she needs, though, Dorothy shows up. With silver slippers. (We’re going the L. Frank Baum route here, rather than the 1939 movie version of the story.) Even though Zelena sent her home via the shoes, she apparently she returned when she got word Zelena was alive and had taken over Oz (because that’s a thing that can happen in this world, I guess). The most important thing about this scene is that TOTO IS THERE. And since all you need to best a wicked witch is a dog, they all manage to get away.
In Underbrooke (can we agree to call it Underbrooke now?), Hades is looking at the torn out storybook page of him and Zelena while the clock ticks annoyingly. Rumple is trying to build a portal because Hades can go through portals fine but can’t bring people back alive. But if Rumple and Hades combine their powers, they can achieve anything! Where does Hades want this portal to go? Storybrooke, of course. Why? Because Zelena and her baby are there. And if Rumple helps him get Zelena’s baby, he’ll let him tell Belle about his mistakes and he might even tear the contract up.
In Storybrooke, Belle is doing her daily duty of bottle feeding the baby when Zelena shows up (as the Blue Fairy) to try to take her baby. Before she can, however, Rumple and Hades open the portal, and in a desperate attempt to get away from Zelena, Belle takes the baby and jumps into the portal. And Zelena follows. But Hades doesn’t get what he wants because they don’t come through the other side to them. They do end up in Underbrooke, though, as Zelena realizes. She also realizes she’s injured and can’t use magic, which is just adding insult to actual injury. Belle can’t deal with the fact she’s gone to the UNDERWORLD of all places (I don’t blame her) and takes off with Zelena’s baby. This poor kid… She’s going to have so many therapy appointments.
In Oz, Zelena pays the terrified munchkins a visit because they were apparently the ones that told Dorothy she was still alive. Hades shows up and terrifies everyone with his blue hair because that’s his favorite party trick (and even though we’re not going with the movie version of this story, I liked the nod to the 1939 film when all the munchkins ran away terrified and hid during Hades’ arrival, the same way they did when the Wicked Witch showed up). “Is the devil flirting with me?” Zelena wants to know. First order of business, he’s not the devil. Second order of business, he just wants to help her.
He knows she’s trying to do the time travel spell and needs the scarecrow for it, but the fact is, Dorothy has something more powerful than Zelena’s magic: the love of the people. And since no one loves Zelena, well, she can’t really compete. But, like he told Rumple, if we join forces, ANYTHING is possible! Zelena, unsurprisingly, rejects his offer. But when she returns home, Hades is waiting for her. He manages to get her to admit she’s not even celebrating her birthday because she doesn’t know when it is, thanks to being given up. Hades bonds with her by sharing terrible sibling stories (he gets it, ’cause his brother Zeus was the one who got everything, and that’s how he was killed in the first place). Only true love can restart his heart and return him to the land of the living as a fully formed human, but predictably, no one is going to love the Lord of the Underworld. Then again, no one is going to love someone as terrible as Zelena, so how about joining vindictive forces, eh?
NEXT: For the first time, I feel wicked