I'm not a mom, not yet a monster
Credit: Jack Rowand/ABC

So, guys. Let’s address the magical elephant in the room. Once Upon a Time is ending soon. But is that a bad thing? Our heroes have wrapped up the story, and I’ve read the comments section. When I’m not missing an important detail (I’m sorry, I’m just a man … a practical Zelena if you will — you guys are the real heroes for keeping me honest), you’ve commented that it just doesn’t feel the same anymore. This new cast can rest on the shoulders of Regina and Rumple and Hook alone, though Hook’s shoulders are broad enough and beautiful… whoa, off topic. We have a limited time left with Once, though, and I have faith that it’s the love for this show that will end it perfectly. But for now, we catch up where we left off: Lucy is in a coma. Regina, Zelena, and Rumple are woke to the truth. Hook is adorable. Damn it, Justin! Focus! Maybe we should just get started.

In a world that throws us back a few years, Robin is doing spells with her friends, as teens do, when Zelena catches her doing some serious magic business in the vault. Not good, y’all. Turns out, Regina gave her a spell book before heading into the Enchanted Forest for Henry. It really sets Zelena off, and when Robin says she doesn’t have magic, Zelena takes her phone because even one-time-magical moms are still moms. But on the way out of the vault, Robin drops a vile with a potion, and she’s transported to a somewhere else that rhymes with Flothel’s Fouse. You get three guesses.

Meanwhile, at Tiana’s place in the Enchanted Forest, the fam is hanging out and Regina is comforting Hook about Alice being gone, but it’s interrupted when Zelena shows up to call out Regina. She’s lost Robin and she figured out my little clue above.

In real-time, Lucy is still in a coma. Regina is in a place about the whole situation because this predicament essentially means they’ll have to choose Henry or Lucy’s life. Zelena is pretty much at a loss for a solution, but Regina says they’ll do it together, as SISTERS. Elsewhere, in Mother Gothel’s lair, Anastasia just wants to hang out with her mom, Vicky, but girlfriend is all bound in a pit. That wish is ruined though when Ana figures out why she’s down there. Victoria reveals she woke up Anastasia by putting Lucy to sleep. It’s heavy, and Anastasia doesn’t take it well.

Back at the hospital, Zelena is interrupted by Gothel. Turns out she wants to help Lucy without hurting Henry, but there’s a catch. There’s always a catch. She wants the resurrection amulet. Zelena agrees, but she secretly has no plans to actually give it to Gothel. But the resurrection amulet may be a solution, so she and Regina go to Roni’s to find it because if Vicky wanted the property for as long as she did, it was for a reason, and the amulet might be a good one.

Back in chiller times, Zelena is still on the search for the missing Robin. She insists that her disappearance is at the hand of Gothel. And Hook wants in on this Gothel revenge, so after some arguing, Zelena agrees that he can come along. They finally stumble upon Gothel’s invisible house during a seance she’s having with Madame Leota (what up, Haunted Mansion!). In the midst of the drama though, Robin appears and admits she ran away on her own. Oh, Robin! She chooses to stay with Gothel and tells Zelena and Hook to leave because teens are crazy.

In real time, Hook meets up with Rumple to hear the truth about Eloise Gardner. Hook is shook to find out that the problem wasn’t so much Victoria Belfry as much as it is Eloise and her crazy coven. Regardless, Hook believes in her innocence. Mind you, while all of that is happening, Lucy is still very much in a coma. The doctor wants to do a test, in case they need a donor, and at the last minute Henry volunteers to be tested because, guys, he’s starting to believe.

In the pit, Ivy and Victoria are still stuck. But Vicky has an idea. As any working mother would, she uses her Louboutin to snag a pulley down and get herself and Ivy free. Elsewhere in real time, Hook makes that visit to Eloise. While she’s charming Hook, Anastasia stays holed up in a closet at her place, and if she knows what’s best, she’ll stay there. Hook heads back to Rumple and admits he now believes that Eloise is hiding something. Rumple keeps pushing that cult agenda because time is running out and Eloise is hella evil, y’all.

That takes us back to young Robin, still shacking up with Gothel. Zelena is broken and magicless and ready to give up, but Hook says she’s not cashed out yet because she can give Robin something stronger than magic: Love. Inside with Gothel, Robin is fangirling hard. That stops real fast when Gothel brings her into the middle of a circle and sacrifices her to bring Leota back with a resurrection amulet. Of course, that’s when Hook and Zelena show up again because Robin is a lucky lady. Zelena takes her place and screams for Robin to run far away. But Robin grabs a bow and arrow and shoots the amulet out of Gothel’s hand because life comes at you fast, and you gotta do what you know best, ya know?

Back in reality, Zelena and Regina are both magicless but they also have something stronger than magic: a stained glass bar sign that says Kelly & Roni’s, which is decidedly less fun to say than just Roni’s. Regina says that if she stays they can put it back up, but Zelena smashes it because inside is the amulet. Classic amulet! They talk about using the amulet to bring back Lucy, but Vicky shows up with a gun to shoot Regina unless she turns it over. So then Vicky takes the amulet to Gothel herself to save Lucy, but first Anastasia has to use her magic to make it useful again. And yeah, it all works out, but all magic comes with a price. And in a blast of smoke, Ivy appears because she will be the new sacrifice.

Catching up with cool girls Robin and Zelena, they’re free from Gothel. And Robin admits she’s not ready to be magical, but Zelena should be magical. She likens it to being Blue Ivy to her mom’s Beyoncé, and that is… um… a stretch. But I can forgive it because Robin officially gave her magic back to her mom. And that leaves the amulet out there in the world, back in that sign which is how it’s now in Gothel’s hands. And with it, Gothel starts the process to take Ivy’s life with her mom just sitting there. For all the talk about hating Drizella, she nearly makes good on that hate until Vicky pushes her out of the way and gives her own life for Lucy’s. As the life is drained out of her, she apologizes to Ivy/Drizella, and the whole thing is insane. But it’s enough to wake Lucy up. Good news! But sadly, in that moment, Vicky becomes a decent human and proves she’s not the monster Regina claimed her to be. Rumple and Hook walk up on the scene to find Ivy with her mom, but it’s all too late. RIP Vicky. You gave us your best.

But in the final moments, the doctor makes the final revelation that we needed: Henry and Jacinda are indeed Lucy’s parents, but she’ll never be able to tell the truth because someone poisoned her water. And whoever did, did so to protect that secret and steal a lock of her hair. Stay tuned.

Episode Recaps

Once Upon a Time

Everything you’ve ever read about fairy tales is true—the residents of Storybrooke are living proof.

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