Reveling in his newfound fame, Sean dates his costar Kate, who reveals a cosmetic flaw; plus, Christian bares all for publicity


”Nip/Tuck” recap: Sean’s office romance

Looks like there’s a new cad on the block. Sean (Dylan Walsh) is becoming quite the ladies’ man thanks to his star-making performance on Hearts ‘n Scalpels. This new twist is providing Sean and Christian (Julian McMahon) with great contrasting story lines.

Christian’s attempt to regain some buzz of his own backfired when Fiona (Lauren Hutton) found out that he had leaked news of Carly Summers’ surgery to Us Weekly. Hutton is absolutely pitch perfect and still lookin’ foxy. How old is this lady? More important, how tight have Christian’s shirts gotten? During the scene in which Fiona scolded him for the leak, I thought his buttons were gonna pop right off. That man needs to bump up to an XL size next time he’s at the mall. And is it just me, or do nude push-ups seem a tad dangerous? What if you slip or lose steam and fall face down? That could lead to some serious bruising.

But the big fella needed to tone up after Fiona arranged a nude photo shoot for Playgirl. First of all, do plastic surgeons really pose for Playgirl? And what publicist would advise that career choice? Anyhoo, Christian dropped trou for the cameras, but not before a little brush of stage fright. Luckily, Fiona’s breasts refuse to age, so she was able to pique Christian’s, um, interest. The hilarious thing is that Christian assumed that the nude spread would make him popular with the ladies, but it proved more attractive to the gays. (Said Sean, ”Paul Lynde is in your office, Christian.”) Christian eventually did get his mojo back, but only by paying two of his clients, competing Marilyn Monroe impersonators, to sleep with him. The final shot of him in bed with the two look-alikes, both of them cooing ”I Wanna Be Loved by You,” was surreal and haunting. Not to mention the look of fear on Christian’s face. Will he ever be able to rise to the top again?

Julia popped up in this episode with some news of her own: She’s seeing someone, and that someone just happens to be a woman named Olivia (played by the stunning Portia de Rossi). How hot a couple are these two ladies? Love it. And de Rossi could not look better. My biggest question was how Julia could afford an apartment overlooking Central Park, but Olivia claimed to be rich, so perhaps she’s paying for the joint. Sean and Christian were both clearly shocked by the news, but I think whatever makes Julia less gloomy is a good thing. Joely Richardson looked radiant in the episode, and I’m sure she’s happy to finally have a positive story line. But knowing the history of this show, I have a feeling Olivia isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. Most surely the lady has a dark side.

One drawback to this jam-packed episode was that there wasn’t enough Hearts ‘n Scalpels action. True, we did get one hilarious Scalpels scene in which the hospital ran out of tourniquets. Clearly, this is not the best-prepared medical facility in the world. Dr. Aidan Stone ordered Sean to round up some neckties, but then shouted, ”Oh, goddamn it! It’s casual Friday!” So what’s a good fake doctor to do but rip off his own scrubs and turn them into a makeshift tourniquet? It gave us a fine chance to ogle Bradley Cooper’s physique as he stood in his boxer briefs.

It also led quite nicely into Sean’s romance with his Scalpels costar Kate (Paula Marshall). After Kate rejected Sean’s advances quite dramatically, she revealed to him that she had had gastric-bypass surgery years before and still had all this excess skin to take care of. I had thought her secret would be male genitalia — this is Nip/Tuck after all. Alas, it was just a big pile of saggy skin, which was just as disturbing, if I may say. Sean was able to operate on Kate and remove the skin, but then he abandoned her in the recovery room to do a People shoot. Kate, who is bordering on annoying, then decided to take Christian to the People’s Choice Awards. But a final romantic gesture by Sean brought the two back together. Still, I think he could do better. Kate seems a bit bipolar. Are we certain she didn’t get a lobotomy when she went in for the gastric bypass?

I’m just happy it was yet another episode without Matt (John Hensley). Clearly, the fans have spoken

What do you think? Does Matt know about his mother’s switch to the Sapphic side? Is Olivia as nice as she seems? And are Kate and Sean a good match?

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