''Nip/Tuck'' recap: Home for the holidays

It was a Nip/Tuck full of ho ho hos. And there was some holiday fun too. Thank you. Thank you. I’m here all week. Remember to tip your server. In any case, it was a typically twisted Nip/Tuck take on the usual holiday episode. First, the fellas helped out some injured carolers named the Spirits. I thoroughly enjoyed when the head caroler recounted their violent attack and the others sang backup. Then they helped a mall Santa who was actually shot point-blank by an angry child. That scene was simultaneously horrifying and hilarious. But then, of course, there was a twist. It turned out the little boy was actually the man’s son. His mom showed up at McNamara/Troy also wanting to shoot the deadbeat dad, but instead she hit one of the carolers. And not just anyone — Frosty the Snowman. Frosty being carried away in a stretcher while being serenaded by his theme song was my favorite moment of the episode.

And what’s Christmas without a little meth-lab explosion? Mr. Eyebrows Matt managed to survive the fire from last week but had major, major scarring. The news interrupted a little secret-Santa action with Sean, Christian, and Julia. I kept wondering where Annie, Conor, and Wilbur were during this whole thing. The grownups are all drinking and chilling while the kids are MIA. But then again these folks haven’t exactly been candidates for Parents of the Year. Sean tried to make up for lost time by being incredibly harsh with Matt at the hospital and basically telling him he’s through cleaning up his messes. I thought that was a bit much, especially since Matt is hardly able to move because of his injuries. Sean came to his senses, though, after the whole shooting incident at work. But it seems that maybe Matt doesn’t need his support anymore. Could this guy finally be growing up? It’s about damn time.

The one bright spot in this whole debacle was the introduction of Rachel, Matt’s burn counselor. Her makeup was a little cheesy, but the character was fascinating. Finally Matt has someone in his corner who actually seems intelligent. Her speech to Christian about why she wanted to keep her burn scars, to represent what people can go through and survive, was quite moving. Hopefully we’ll see more of this lady, and the material will continue to be handled well.

Christian and Julia, who are continuing their clandestine affair, were nearly caught by Sean post-coitus. Most disturbing was the fact that Christian covered the whole thing up by pretending that he had been masturbating and that Sean, after hearing that, just stood there staring at him, naked. I know they’re close, but come on. And then Sean said he would wait for Christian to finish masturbating a second time so that they could go get a tree. Um, gross. These are things that should not be discussed by roommates. Especially so close to a religious holiday. After Sean left, Christian and Julia went to tell Kimber the news of Matt’s accident. Not surprisingly, she was less than interested. Do we think she’s still pretending not to love Matt or has she really drunk the porn Kool-Aid? I for one wasn’t sure.

The affair finally was brought out in the open during the secret-Santa reveals. Christian, in a pretty dumb move, bought Julia not only some cheap edible underwear but also expensive earrings. Sean felt betrayed, but frankly I don’t think he’s really in a place to hold a grudge. The dude just got over having his own affair with Olivia’s daughter. As Christian said later, ”It’s not like you’re Mr. Celibate, pining away, waiting for her.” Very true. Did anyone else think how weird it is that these three folks have been breaking up and hooking up ever since college? It’s a little creepy that they’ve all seen each other naked.

Eden popped up again, too, wearing a jaunty little sequined bow tie, but she wasn’t exactly in the partying mood. Like the evil queen in Snow White, Eden made a poisoned fruitcake for Julia and fed it to her. Poor Julia is really having a sucky holiday. So, what do you all think Eden put in the cake? I’m guessing she’s trying to get Julia hooked on some kind of narcotic. When Eden arrived at the Christmas party, it looked like she was carrying yet another cake.

One element I miss is Hearts ‘n Scalpels. At the beginning of the season, it seemed that would be one of the main story lines, but it’s been pretty MIA except for last week’s appearance of Aidan. Thankfully, producer Freddy (Oliver Platt) was in the previews for the next episode.

What did you think of last night’s episode, and what are you going to miss most over the show’s holiday hiatus?