Hot off the first presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, New Girl is getting political with an episode centered on the upcoming election.
Jess and Cece are very much in favor of Clinton, and they plan to go out and help register new voters. Schmidt is very much opposed to Clinton — and Trump, for that matter — and doesn’t think they’ll be able to get those supporters, so a bet quickly follows.
Far away from politics, Nick grapples with his long-distance relationship and a forthcoming phone-sex date. He’s totally freaked out about it and turns to Winston for help. Needless to say, things get very, very weird, because of “The Winston Bishop Clinic for Satellite Sexual Intercourse,” yeah…
Here are the top 5 “loft”-iest moments from “Hubbedy Bubby.”
Jess and Cece’s enthusiasm for Clinton. “Let’s get ready to Rodham,” Jess exclaims at the beginning of the episode, backed by “Are You Ready for This.” “Y’all ready for this…election.” (SEE WHAT SHE DID THERE?) Jess and Cece plan to register new voters, which is a particularly big deal for Jess who has embraced and loved democracy since she was young — cue flashback to her as a kid, standing on a lunch table and calling for locally sourced apples to be served in the school cafeteria. Jess then mentions how Schmidt must be voting for Trump. “Not on your life,” he responds, “nor am I voting for that flip-flopping helmet head in a pantsuit. I’m only focused on one election, the election that matters, Paul Ryan 2020.” Clearly, Jess and Cece’s politics vary wildly from Schmidt’s, so naturally a bet ensues…
The bet. Schmidt says he’ll vote for Clinton if Jess and Cece register five new voters; if they don’t, then they have to vote for Winston. “Game on, you Republican minx,” Jess says, confidently. Sounds easy enough, but Jess and Cece aren’t having any luck at the campaign office, led by Mary Ellen (The Office’s Kate Flannery), and things don’t really get much better when they go door to door. Finally, they stumble upon a sorority house. Cece thinks there has to be a bunch of unregistered voters there, and though Jess says she’s terrified of sororities, they make it inside and start partying with the girls to get them to sign up. They’re racking up signatures, but soon realize the names are fake, including but not limited to “Anita Wang,” “Ivana Getsome,” “Melanie Fart,” and my personal favorite, “Oprah’s Friend Gayle.”
Jess, now dubbed “Booze Girl,” responds by standing on a balcony and talking about how hard women fought for the right to vote. She manages to rally the girls’ interest, but she and Cece realize they’re actually Trump supporters. They essentially abandon them — therefore losing the bet — but Cece congratulates Jess on helping the girls find their voice, even if it’s not the voice they were hoping for. That’s also when Cece drops the news that she’s not going to college, mainly because she’d rather get out in the working world. Jess disagrees at first, but eventually comes around.
NEXT: Schmidt takes control of rogue “lopes”
Schmidt’s hyper-organized life. Schmidt is a neat freak and is very bothered by the loft’s messy mail situation. He organizes it all and uncovers “the old mail, soy sauce, dead-battery drawer” in the process, where one of Cece’s college acceptance letters has been stuffed away. “[It’s like] when you cut the belly open of a shark and everything topples out,” Schmidt says. He heads to the campaign office to find Cece, but she’s out canvassing; he ends up staying anyway because he can’t handle the extremely disorganized office, especially its mail area. So he organizes and organizes, referring to envelopes as “lopes” — which is officially part of my vocabulary now — and he’s soon asked to make calls. That’s just too much for Schmidt, a Republican and dedicated Paul Ryan supporter. He can’t even utter Clinton’s name, instead calling her the likes of “Hubbedy Bubby” and “Celery Flintstone” as he tells people to vote for Ryan.
Nick’s foray into video sex. Nick is afraid he’s going to lose Reagan, now that they’re in a long-distance relationship (or “long d” as Winston calls it, apparently oblivious to what he’s suggesting). Winston does give Nick good advice when he tells him to just call her. Nick does, but is super awkward on the phone. The call ends with Nick and Reagan agreeing to a phone-sex date. Nick freaks out, but Winston’s got this on lock since he’s in a long-distance relationship himself. Winston shows Nick his video-sex closet, you know, the aforementioned “Winston Bishop Clinic for Satellite Sexual Intercourse,” which includes costumes and a recording setup that allows one to appear in front of different backgrounds. Nick opts for an outer-space theme and later puts on a space suit, but it’s Aly who appears on video chat and gets a look at more than she bargained for with Nick.
So that went horribly wrong, but Winston does end up saving the day by showing Nick some cards he’d written to Winston when he was playing basketball. “I screamed your name at the ocean today, then I ate a sandwich that tasted like your smile,” Nick wrote. Winston tells Nick that’s his style, and that’s what he should bring to phone sex.
Jess impersonating Trump. So Jess loses the bet, but asks if she can skip voting for Winston after he announces his platform, which includes a silly portrait and changing the National Anthem. Schmidt agrees, but comes up with another way for Jess to pay up. The episode ends with her impersonating Trump. She wears a suit and a wig, and puts on her best voice and pouty face. “You’re fired…your car is beautiful, opulent,” etc. It’s not a bad impression, actually.
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