Reagan makes a (sexy) proposition to teach Nick and Winston to be more decisive

By C. Molly Smith
February 23, 2016 at 11:24 PM EST
Patrick McElhenney/Fox
S5 E8
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Decisions, decisions… no surprise, Nick and Winston find them hard to make, but can they when challenged?

Seeing how indecisive the boys are, Reagan decides to have a little fun. She proposes that she’ll sleep with one of them if they can decide which one that will be. They desperately try to meet the challenge, but that’s no easy task.

Meanwhile, Cece and Schmidt go in search of the perfect wedding venue. The trouble is they’re on a budget so Schmidt’s dream location is way out of the question, that is until Schmidt’s college frenemy, Benjamin, tries to secure the venue for himself.

Here are the top 5 loft-iest moments from “The Decision.”

Some major loftmate indecisiveness. “Please, God, we’re entering minute 20 of the great brunch debate,” Reagan says at the beginning of the episode, followed by Nick and Winston laying out way too many options (Winston even suggests a turkey roast…). Fed up with their indecisiveness, Reagan says she’ll have sex with one of the two, but only if they decide whom. She’s obviously just trying to make a point, but the boys take it seriously and soon make up their minds. “That girl better get ready for some kind, attentive lovemaking,” says Winston, the victor after bringing up the time (in middle school) Nick made out with a girl whom Winston had called “dibs” on. He’s the victor to start, but that doesn’t last long.

For the love of The Lisbon. Cece and Schmidt go in search of the perfect wedding venue but quickly realize their budget won’t get them very far. But Schmidt can’t resist the temptation to go check out the pricey dream venue, a hotel called The Lisbon. The space doesn’t disappoint. “It’s so beautiful. I feel like I’m inside Cate Blanchett,” Cece says, to which the hotel employee responds that they get that a lot. The couple assume that there won’t be any openings so it won’t be a problem — but Shia LaBeouf just canceled a solitaire tournament (?!). “We’re just going to enact the plan that we set up for when you see an ankle boot that you really, really, really like,” Cece says. The ankle boot plan is: Schmidt has to walk away, and if he dreams about it, then it’s meant to be. But he back-tracks temporarily when his college frenemy, Benjamin, tries to reserve the space for himself.

Nick’s pitch of himself. Not to be defeated, Reagan tries to get Nick to go back on the guys’ decision of Winston. She practices a presentation on Nick with a very sultry voice and tells him that it’s unfair for Winston to hold Nick’s breaking of the dibs over him 20 years later — and it works, kind of. Nick does go back on his word, but then he and Winston turn the tables and ask Reagan to decide. She wants them to pitch themselves, leading Nick to say the following, “For starters, I’m completely hairless, except for a straggler near one of my nipples because I got scared while shaving. In my fantasies, I’m a wild lover. In real life, my sexual prowess has been described as fun, adequate, it’ll get the job done.”

Winston’s crush finally realized. Winston’s pitch, on the other hand, leads him to realize the feelings he has for his partner at work, Aly. Earlier in the episode, she tries to boost his confidence before his rendezvous with Reagan by telling him he has kind eyes. So he tells Reagan about that, but then proceeds to talk all about Aly’s good qualities, and adds, “When I’m with her, I never really notice time. It’s probably because she is the best part of my day.” It’s adorable, and Winston does muster the courage to ask her to drinks. She says yes, but asks if her boyfriend can come… ouch. Still, I don’t think it’s over for Winston and Aly. They’ve always seemed to have a connection that will likely go deeper than friendship in time.

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The “I’m not having sex tonight” outfits. With Winston out, Nick is left. Reagan throws another curve ball at him by asking what room they’ll use. Nick can’t deal, so he steps away to think about it and then comes back in a horrendous bright orange track suit. He made the decision that he did not want anything to happen between him and Reagan like this, so he put on his “I’m not having sex tonight outfit” to make it official. He does ask Reagan to the bar, though. She says yes and changes into animal-print footie pajamas. “FYI, your ‘I’m not having sex tonight outfit’ is leopard print and tight,” Nick points out.

Honorable Mentions

  • “Hybrid meals are for people too lazy to wake up for a proper breakfast,” Schmidt says of his feelings about brunch
  • “We met crying over the same name at the Vietnam Memorial, George… Harrison… Ford, who was our grandfather, making us cousins because there is nothing more romantic than forbidden love,” Cece says, a lie and poor attempt to persuade The Lisbon’s employee to choose them over the rival couple
  • Winston doing a little jig through the police station, excited at the chance to ask Aly out, and soon knocking an evidence bag with a bloody hammer inside out of someone’s hand
  • Cece, Schmidt, Reagan, and Nick singing and dancing for Winston to make him feel better about Aly having a boyfriend
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